Ask The (relatively) New Dad.

[JohnT]

Your problems? Don't leave us hanging!

[Boris Godunov]

Originally posted by JohnT
Don't leave us hanging!

That's his problem.

[MRT144]

well i cant imagine having a job to support a child because ill be going into the music industry and wont be making huge amounts of money. how do you know when you are financial ready to have a child?

also the fact that i dont think ill ever get married, but thats a whole other issue.

[Flubber]

Originally posted by Boris Godunov
It always has bothered me that some people can go around having unprotected sex and unintentionally blow out babies like they were a pez dispenser, and then you get couples who really, really want to have a child, and for some reason they can't. Cosmic injustice rears its head again.

True -- my sister cannot have children and that was cause of much anguish but she went the adoption route. With one cute little guy already and a second adoption in the works, things are working out ok.


Conceiving is always a luck of the draw thing so all you can do is keep trying. . . although after two years, it might be time to see if there is a problem. Something as simple and fixable as a cyst on her ovaries could be the issue.

I have some good friends who got to the point where sex was more procreational than recreational and it was no fun at all. He felt he was on the "clock" when his wife made a 5 a.m. booty call while she was in the hormonal rollercoaster from Clomid. But success occurred and now they are trying for baby number 2. They say there is no stress now and sex is once again a lot of fun

[Stefu]

Toolio: with a name like that, you know your child is going to sing "...Been spendin' most of our lives, living in a Finnish Paradise..."

Kakinston: You want to name your kid after a third world country?

'ey! Those are real, actual American baby names! Well, all right, so I'm not too sure about Toolio... or Kakinston. But they could be!

[MRT144]

how doi you know when you are financially ready to be a parent?

[SuperSneak]

Originally posted by MRT144
how doi you know when you are financially ready to be a parent?

The current rate for a yearly bill is @ $9000. This of course does not include the ballon payment for college tuition that comes at the end of your child's contract. It is better to trade them for a rookie before they enter the final year of their contract.

My son Prosper is now 20 months old and #2 is coming in April (9 months to the day after our wedding night in Vegas ). That one is going to be a boy as well.
I tell you, it is so surreal that I have one child, #2's impending arrival hasn't even sunk in yet.

In all honesty, the financial aspect of raising two children, coupled with the current economy, is really stressing me out these days, but when my little guy comes up to me and gives me a hug, or runs to me saying "daddy, daddy" when I get home from a crap day at work, it all seems doable and worth it.

Still getting used to driving a mini-van, however.

[Kramerman]

I look forward to being the venerable patriarch of a household. Im thinking I want two children, but maybe three. I would like a boy, sort of like having a clone, i supose, and I would like to have a little girl too. But, I was one of 2 boys, and I really think that was a good situation, so a 3rd child (hopefully a boy) would be cool. Hopefully the two boys would be spaced around 4 or 5 years apart, and then the girl thrown somewhere in there...

JohnT, or anyone else, did yall have hopes or 'plans' for the genders of your children? And if it were possible, would yall ever 'make' your unborn child a certain gender?

Kman

[SuperSneak]

I only wanted a healthy baby and mother.
My wife was actually very disappointed initially when we found out we were having a boy (she wanted to know, I didn't really...wanted it to be a surprise.)
We both were happy to find out we were having a boy for #2. We figure that gives Prosper a playmate.
I don't know if we'll keep trying to have a girl, but I'm a bit worried about ending up with 6 boys in the attempt.
I honestly don't know if it is easier to raise boys, though I've heard the teenage years can be brutal with a girl.
Secretly, I have to admit to a certain caveman-esque pleasure in producing male progeny, as my friends all have had girls and seem a tad jealous. Weird, huh?
Older males always express a hale and hearty congratulation on my admittedly random skill at producing males, which seems a bit odd.
Our boys will be 22 months apart in age--any of you grow up in a similar situation? If so, how was it? What were the benefits and downfalls? What should we be proactive about?
My sister is 5 years older and we were never super close--she was given a lot of the responsibility for me and put through the parental ringer as far as restrictions on her freedom went, which I think she has always justifiably resented.

I'm curious about how birth order, gender, etc. impact a child's behavior and outlook. Feel free to sound off on the topic. I want my kids to be well-behaved, motivated and happy.

Don't want much, do I?

[chequita guevara]

Originally posted by Rogan Josh
My wife an I have been trying for almost 2 years now with no success. Is there something special you are supposed to do (other than the obvious).

Switch to boxers from BVDs. That might be obvious to some, but our next door neighbor tried unsuccessfully for years to have children, even going on fertility treatments. When they got a new doctor he took her off the medication and told him to switch to boxers and boom. (On the sad side, the previous dcotor had kept her on the medication for over a year, when it's not supposed to be used for more than six months -- as a result, she got heart damage )

[Gatekeeper]

Originally posted by JohnT
... we just don't love Sophie, we've fallen in love with her. I really have no concept of feeling "anguish" towards her... but then, like I said, she's just a baby.

I have no children myself yet, JohnT, but I know 110 percent what you're talking about.

I am the oldest of four children; I was 10 when my first sister came along, 15 when my second sister was born and 18 when my brother was born. I fell in love with them the moment I held them as day-old newborns. Perhaps it's a bit silly admitting it, but tears well up in my eyes when I write about them, remembering the first time I saw and held them.

Anyway, love is love. That's all I can say.

Gatekeeper

[Starchild]

Would it be easier and cheaper just to rent a child for a few hours a day/week instead of having a 27-7 kid that, ultimately, would most like die from lack of feeding and/or attention?

[chequita guevara]

Heck, better yet, get someone to pay you for taking care of their kid.

[JohnT]

Originally posted by MRT144
how doi you know when you are financially ready to be a parent?

For us, it was when we cut our expenses (and raised my income) so that Laura could stay at home w/o a great loss of quality of life.

[JohnT]

Originally posted by Kramerman

JohnT, or anyone else, did yall have hopes or 'plans' for the genders of your children? And if it were possible, would yall ever 'make' your unborn child a certain gender?

Kman

Laura wanted a girl*, but I didn't really care. Since Mommy got what she wanted, I'm quite pleased.

*Oh, she fed me the standard lines about "I don't care as long as its healthy", but yeah: she cared.