About Wedding Rings and Proposing.

[FrostyBoy]

I don't think anyone has actually answered my question yet.

But I asked someone in a chat room and she said that you can use the engagement ring for the wedding ring, it's much cheaper that way, but that you must wear the ring on the right hand, and then once married, move it over to the left hand. So I will do that. I am thinking of getting platinum as it will not lose its shine.

[Alexander's Horse]

Better to let her choose the ring herself. Go together.

There are no hard and fast rules about wedding/engagement rings. Mrs Horse wears one. I don't because I won't wear jewellery of any kind.

[Asher]

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
I don't because I won't wear jewellery of any kind.

[AnnC]

In American usage, a wedding band is a ring. Mine looks like this:



Snoopy, if you want to use a band as an engagement ring, I strongly recommend that you let her choose the ring (instead of surprising her with one). If she's going to wear it for the rest of her life (or yours), you want to be certain that she likes it.

[Alexander's Horse]

And she'll probably go for one that's practical and less expensive cause when you get married she'll be thinking about all the other stuff you need to buy

Nice ring Ann.

Mrs Horse has banned me from buying her jewellery

[FrostyBoy]

Hm, ok you have convinced me to let her decide, but it doesn't make the proposal very wonderful for her I think..

[CerberusIV]

I was curious and did a bit of research. Gold rings are traditional as a papal decree specified engagement rings as an essential sign of betrothment and gold to require a financial commitment on the part of the groom to be. The third finger if the left hand is traditional for rings as it was thought a vein ran direct from this finger to the heart (something to do with the path the pain takes in an angina attack I suspect!).

There is no actual requirement for an engagement ring and the tradition of diamonds really only took off in the late 1930's following a De Beers advertising campaign.

My advice would be to try and create a special atmosphere by where you are or what you are doing when you propose. Then go and buy the ring together the next day. It worked for me.

[FrostyBoy]

ok, I got something I planned out, that I think she will really love

[Alexander's Horse]

Originally posted by Sn00py
Hm, ok you have convinced me to let her decide, but it doesn't make the proposal very wonderful for her I think..

*sigh*

You don't need a ring to make the proposal. Take her out for a special dinner or something, ask her then.

Take her to the jewellery shop the next day.

Jewellery shop manners are very important. Let her decide what she wants. She will pick something probably less expensive but nicer than you would have. If you know each other well enough to get married she will know your budget already.

Don't say something dumb like you can have something up to this price or whatever. Its like putting a price on your love. Not a good look, but a common trap for mere males like us.

[orange]

Sn00py...what a few people do is, after marriage, they 'fuse' the engagement and wedding rings together. My mom did it with hers, and I know a few others that have done it as well. But yes, two separate rings are traditional...the engagement ring (diamond or whatever) and a wedding band (the actual wedding ring) which is simply gold (and in some cases silver). But there should be a way to combine them after the ceremony so she can wear both.

[CerberusIV]

I don't remember asking my partner to marry me, we stayed in that evening and I cooked dinner. What I do remember was going round the jewellery stores the next day to buy a ring. We went into one place and I started to get nervous because there were no prices on anything.

My partner to shop assistant: "How much is this ring" (as she tries it).

shop assistant: "£3,000"

my partner: "Hmmm, I don't like it as much as that one" (points to the previous ring she tried - that one was £2,000)

Me:
(imagine the silence when you want to gasp in shock but it gets stuck in your throat).

My partner then realised there was a serious risk I would pass out so she stopped the game and helped me out of the store and across the road to the car. We eventually bought a nice ring, which she still wears occasionally, for £160.

We still laugh about that day now, 14 years later.

[JohnT]

Generally, Snoopy, the engagement ring should be a "surprise" but one that you prepare for. I don't think that she should help shop for the engagement ring, but you should ask her at least what she expects of it (what cut to the diamond, band preference (gold? platinum?), etc). Then you go out and shop for one, and then surprise her with it on Valentine's Day.

Consider this your first test: the shopping test, if you will. If you can prove that you're at least capable of listening to her about her needs, and then buying her something that makes her happy based upon what she told you, you're in like Flynn.

It used to be tradition that you spend 3 months current salary on the engagement ring*, but as for me, I had to spend WAY more than $75.

Otoh, you need to shop together for the wedding bands. Luckily, they'll be easier to shop for than the diamond, and cheaper too.

*That does imply that if you can't afford this, you're not in a financial position to get married.

[Flubber]

Re: About Wedding Rings and Proposing.

Originally posted by Sn00py

It's quite ironic, because right when I decided I would propose to her, she's started to get very annoying and frustrating; so naturally I am getting nervous and concerned. Divorce is not an option once we are married.

Is this a big thing or just a little quarrel . . . if it has become a big issue, I woulkd postpone the engagement until you are more certain of your relationship. If its just a normal tiff, get engaged in whatever way suits you. For what its worth, here it is most common to buy a big diamond as an engagement ring which may continue to be worn with the wedding band. The wedding band is generally a plain band or maybe something with inset stones, more practical than the engagement ring for general wearing when active.

My wife generall wears both rings.