I have a question about marriage.

[MrFun]

What societal factors have caused heterosexual divorce rate in marriage to become 50% of all marriages, or more?

Do not turn this into a blame-everything-on-moderate-feminists thread. Just because we no longer view women as being inferior to men, does not mean that they're the cause for such a skyrocketing divorce rate -- at least, in my opinion.

I guess I'm old-fashioned in that I value monogamous, stable relationships among heterosexuals and homosexuals.

I cannot judge those who have what are called open relationships, but I have difficulty understanding how they can be called relationships or commitments.

[Tiamat]

I don't think you can call that type of "realtionship" a relationship. When you marry that person you make a committment to them for life to be true to them and them only. It's a vow you take and should be taken seriously. Being a newlywed myself I can say that if my husband wanted to do the open marriage thingy then all bets would be off!

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Tiamat
I don't think you can call that type of "realtionship" a relationship. When you marry that person you make a committment to them for life to be true to them and them only. It's a vow you take and should be taken seriously. Being a newlywed myself I can say that if my husband wanted to do the open marriage thingy then all bets would be off!

[Alexander's Horse]

Its simple really, people are selfish and they have choices. So they look out for number 1 and then they get divorced. Selfishness breaks up most marriages, imo.

In the past it wasn't that easy to get divorced. Now its simple - or looks so to fools.

So its fight or flight when the going get's tough in a marriage. Most people choose flight today. Are people better off divorced? I would say most are not. They just end up on the scrapheap or in another relationship like the one they just left.

Its sad really. It means they don't get to the deeper levels of marriage, which usually mean going through a few pain barriers over the years. They just quit when it gets hard. But the real rewards of marriage come from sticking together during the good times and bad.

[Zylka]

Sincere AH post sighting +11+1~ !!1

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
Its simple really, people are selfish and they have choices. So they look out for number 1 and then they get divorced. Selfishness breaks up most marriages, imo.

In the past it wasn't that easy to get divorced. Now its simple - or looks so to fools.

So its fight or flight when the going get's tough in a marriage. Most people choose flight today. Are people better off divorced? I would say most are not. They just end up on the scrapheap or in another relationship like the one they just left.

Its sad really. It means they don't get to the deeper levels of marriage, which usually mean going through a few pain barriers over the years. They just quit when it gets hard. But the real rewards of marriage come from sticking together during the good times and bad.

I'm agreeing with AH?

Because what you say definitely makes sense -- relationships take work and if you want to break it up rather than try to resolve a problem or crisis, you will never get anywhere.

For once, AH what you posted makes real sense.

But is it really as simple as selfishness and increased ease in divorce?

[Alexander's Horse]

Of course I'm not opposed to a man taking a woman on the side if he's discreet about it - or whores if he can afford it.

[Lefty Scaevola]

Re: I have a question about marriage.

Originally posted by MrFun
What societal factors have caused heterosexual divorce rate in marriage to become 50% of all marriages, or more?

Mostly easing of state imposed restrictions and costs on divorces. Secodly lessening, indeed near elimination, of sociatal strigma upon divorce.

[Zylka]

Well

Perhaps for myself, it's that no one is taking the act of marriage itself seriously anymore... Honestly, within the past half a century - there's no such thing as asking parents for blessings anymore (unless as a traditional gesture)

Marriage has gone through the roof with "liberated" views on sex and the ensuing increased birthrates. My parents were only married in haste when I came along, and by miracle alone they've stuck it out.

The constant pursuit of institutionalized gay marriage does not help to reinforce the traditional concept of a man and woman joining in natural (by nature!) union.

When you can legally marry some drunk silicon she-beast on a moments notice in Vegas (or near anywhere else), does the sacrament remain something special - or an occasion raped as casually as your last pack of Marboros?

What do you expect when those marrying today are increasingly casual of it... I'm telling you, we're in that handbsket firm. Pass me my pipe, junior!!!

[Imran Siddiqui]

It's closer to 40% actually (at least it was in 1996):

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/030124.html

[Alexander's Horse]

One big problem we have today is many people don't have around them role models of what a good marriage is. My parents have been married for nearly 50 years. Mrs Horse's parents the same - though they fight all the time

Good role models help a lot.

[Imran Siddiqui]

They fight all the time because they are at the age when it is too difficult to get a divorce so they can say what is on their minds rather than just thinking it .

[MRT144]

my grandparents have been married for 50 years, and thats only cause my grandma dont drive and my grandpa dont cook

[Alexander's Horse]

[Agathon]

I'd say it's because the current social climate leads people to think, "If it's good, do it". That is a gross oversimplification, but I reckon it is not too far off the mark.

(I'm not like this).