yeah. But when I contempleted after it during sitting at 2 AM in the park, I got very depressed. my thoughts were similar to this:
"here I am, almost 17 years old, drunk, stoned, and smoking a pack of cheap sigarettes. It's The end of november, and my birthday is in a couple of days. It's very cold. I have my gloves on, my coat on, and a ski cap on. I am horny and I can't get laid. Even getting stoned doesn't help my depression. Where am I going?!" and then started the silly jealousy thing: " now take a look at 'X'. he has good grades,(and/or) drives a nice car, (and/or) goes out with pretty girls.". "Now that's what I call a sucessfull person".
"here I am, almost 17 years old, drunk, stoned, and smoking a pack of cheap sigarettes. It's The end of november, and my birthday is in a couple of days. It's very cold. I have my gloves on, my coat on, and a ski cap on. I am horny and I can't get laid. Even getting stoned doesn't help my depression. Where am I going?!" and then started the silly jealousy thing: " now take a look at 'X'. he has good grades,(and/or) drives a nice car, (and/or) goes out with pretty girls.". "Now that's what I call a sucessfull person".
"Here I am, 17 yearsold, baked, in Centennial Park in a bum town. And I am a bum... ah... the life of a teenage looser... how absolutely... romantic and idealised... and rightfully so. Sexually frusterate, rebellious, whatnot, with abstract thoughts, worn clothes... the act of not giving a damn, even though it's a myth. And to think, I'm contributing to the artistic integeraty of the pop-culture of my generation. I am not forcing myself to be successful, or intelligent, or even coherant. The secret is to let yourself to taken away by the moment. Delve deep inside your mind."
Maybe I see it like this because I'm a really artistic person and I see most things from a romantized and imagized point of view. There are so many times when I think, "Damn, this would make such a good photograph". Or when I'm with my friends and we're stoned and talking about BS theories, I wish I could remember what we said. Maybe I'm just happier because I *am* getting some. That could be it.
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