Most unbelievable goof ups you've said to someone

[Bereta_Eder]

Me walking back to a dorm with a Japanese girl.

The streets were COMPLETELY empty.

Me saying: It's like an atomic bomb has fallen on this place...

[FrustratedPoet]

oh ... my ... god.



I've done the "When's the baby due?" thing when meeting an acquaintance who looked seriously pregnant, only to be told "Harry's 6 months old now."

[Provost Harrison]

I know there was one when I could have died but I can't remember what it is. Like 'Where In Scotland Are You From?' to someone I was talking to for half an hour. He replied 'Belfast'

[Datajack Franit]

To my economics teacher: "Of course you don't want to give us homeworks because you surely will spend your hoildays with your husband"
Teacher : "My husband died 4 years ago! *laugh*"

[SpencerH]

Originally posted by Provost Harrison
I know there was one when I could have died but I can't remember what it is. Like 'Where In Scotland Are You From?' to someone I was talking to for half an hour. He replied 'Belfast'

If an american had said that, it would be a goof up. For an englishman its unbelievable.

[JohnT]

This isn't exactly a goof-up, but I did once say, to the most hated person in my life,

"The only reason I won't be pissing on your grave is that I detest standing in line!"

[Jon Miller]

I have many many of these

often they are where I say the exact opposite of what I mean to say

it just comes out wrong

Jon Miller

[Boris Godunov]

Giving a speech when I was running for Finance Committee Chair my sophomore year of college. I was unopposed, so I just got up and winged some brief remarks. A big issue was that a lot of people were complaining about there being nothing to do on campus or nearby. I got up and gave a list of lots of things in the vicinity to go to, ending with, "If you can walk, you can go do all these things!"

Just then my eyes locked on a group of girls who couldn't walk and went around in motorized wheelchairs. Oooooooooooooooohboy. I stammered out "or...or even if you, um, can't..." People laughed, I finished up lamely and sat down. Later I talked to the girls and they thought it was funny, but I was still embarrassed.

The only other thing I can think of was one Christmas vacation when I was home from college, I answered the phone and a woman asked for my mom. I explained she was at work, and the woman said she was my mom's cousin and was calling about my great aunt. I asked if I could take a message, so she said "Well, I wanted to tell her that Jean had died, we found her yesterday at home."

Stunned, I blurted out, "Oh my God, you're kidding!"

Pause.

"No, I'm afraid not," says my mom's cousin, who laughs a little nervously. I silently kick myself 3 dozen times.

[Inverse Icarus]

most of my friends are white, but there are a few minorities amoung us, a few blacks and a cople of asians. one of the kids is 1/8 puerto-rican.

anyway, ethnic slurs in our little group run rampant. we just do it for some reason. i'm polish/german/irish, so i'm a polack nazi drunk. there's some chinese, black, japanese, and hispanic, so fill in the slurs yourselves.

there are a few VERY black neighborhoods on long island and while we were in one (theres a shopping center there) i muttered the phrase "nigga pleeeease" and had about a hundred eyes on me. my friend must have known what i was feeling and made some humorous anti-white comment (somehting about a honkey) and we walked out safely.

yea.

another thing i used to say was "it cures cancer in lab rats", whenever i was speaking well of something. like, "civ 3 rocks man. the resource system is a great addition. it's been found to cure cancer in lab rats." you know. hyperbole.

well, one day, i had some kettle korn for the first time. and, it rocked. so i went on my rant about the cancer in lab rats bit, and my friend who apparently never heard me use the phrase goes "really?! cause my mom just found out she has ovarian cancer."

erm. haven't used that phrase in a while.

i dont remember what i said but i ended up telling my little brother there is no santa/god in one swooping argument with my mom. good sh*t.

[Az]

great stories. I know I've said lots of crap, but I can't pinpoint a case right now.

[Clear Skies]

My friend was talking about wanting to be a primary school teacher and declaimed in the middle of a crowded supermarket 'because I have a strange attraction to young children'.

She later claimed she meant 'for' young children.

She then stopped digging a hole and admitted that the sentence had sounded better inside her head than out.

[Stefu]

Me, to a geography teacher: "Your hair looks like a cheap wig." (I swear, it wasn't meant as an insult, just an observation!)

Then she told me she had had a cancer.

I didn't get along with that teacher too well after that.

[mrboo123]

DAMN!

[Az]

I got one...

Me and a couple of my friends at the uni are sitting before lecture starts. She is a the representative of our simester at the students' union. We talk about some petition to delay the chemistry test, and then she lists all the people who haven't signed. We needed to get the signatures of everyone in the course, to get this motion passed. So she lists "harasita", among other names. I have no idea why, but I start going on a vicious attack on the girl, because 'hara' means 'sh!t' in hebrew. So I start off with this stupid monologue:

"Harasita? what kinda name is that anyway?
Her parents must have really hated her to give her a name such as this. "
that friend of mine, and another couple of my friends start to laugh.
"Why the **** didn't you put on a condom?! " I start immitiating Harasita's mother.
Everyone bursts in laughter. It was probably in the way I said it.
Everyone laughs. I feel real bad about myself, and cover my face in shame.

Now's the real interesting part. That girl sat behind me, a couple of lines back. Now she got real pissed, and of course didn't sign the motion to postpone the test.

[loinburger]

I once called my high school english teacher a "luscious wench" during Medieval Fest. She was not amused.