The Selfishness of Remaining Childless "For Your Career"

[Flubber]

Originally posted by rah
I've seen quite a few delinquent children from two professional families. The parents were too busy to spend any time with their kids. The kids were raised by nannies, day care workers, etc. They would have been better off not having children.
RAH

Ya -- there are ample examples of both excellent and very poor parenting from all parts of the economic spectrum. While the money from two incomes may provide parents with additional resources, it is no guarantee of good parenting . . .

But two jobs does not mean poor or absentee parenting either. . . Some friends of mine are a two lawyer family with two children. he goes to work at 5 am so he can be home before they get out of school while she goes to work around 10 am and works later--

MY parents both worked as professionals but had positions that were essentially 9 to 5 and were always there for me when I needed them. So I hate the generalizations about 2 income families

[MikeH]

If two working parent's is bad wouldn't that imply that the best parents are those that are both unemployed?

[rah]

Originally posted by MikeH
Rah, he didn't say he'd got his cheney wet, just that he got off with them, which in UK slang implies making out not making the beast with two backs.

Thanks, for the clarification

Flubber, yes you are correct, I didn't mean to make it sound like a generalization. Especially since both my wife and I are professionals that work a lot of hours, yet believe that we have done a good job raising our daughter. On the other hand, we never had a second child because we were worried about the extra amount of time and money and whether we'd have enough of either. If someone sees that as selfish, they can kiss my ***.

[ZoboZeWarrior]

Do you want really that bod kisses your *** ??

[orange]

would you rather we produce out of control until we hit world wide famine?

[MikeH]

With tongues or not?

[Switch]

My parents also both have jobs, but I turned out ok.
While us kids were young (I was the last, by 5 years) my mom only worked as a supply teacher. Now we're older, both my parents work full time.
Fortunately both work in schools (my mom's a gr. 3 teacher, my dad's the school board's psychologist), so they work when I'm at school, and get the summer off when I do.

Now, we could just follow the asian route (I'm not sure if it's Japan or China) and restrict families to one kid total, one kid minimum. Or not

[Boris Godunov]

Uh-huh.

[Urban Ranger]

You don't worry about that though right Boris?

[Boris Godunov]

Originally posted by Urban Ranger
You don't worry about that though right Boris?

I like being in no-win situations. Either I'm selfish for not wanting to have a kid, or I am evil and trying to corrupt children for wanting to have/adopt them.

In the U.S., at least, it is actually more selfish to have more children. My taxes have to go to support public education whether I have kids in it or not. And you don't have to pay more taxes to it based on the number of kids you have (in fact, you get TAX BREAKS for more kids). So I am footing a disproportionate amount of the bill to send some breeder's brats to public school.

But I don't mind, as I support public education. Now who is selfish?

[Gary]

The world is overpopulated by people who think it is selfish not to have loads of brats.

Save the planet, eat a kid today.

[Urban Ranger]

I don't see why it is selfish not to have children.

Now I understand it's better for both the children and the parents when the, uh, procreations are done earlier. However, this holds only if the kids can be raised in a nice environment where child support is not a problem.

Otherwise nobody wins.

[chequita guevara]

I'm so happy I've put Spink on ignore.

[Japher]

I agree that having a child is a responsibility that is best handled by one parent staying home to take care of the child. Neglected children are generally worse off than those that feel needed, wanted,and loved, at least more than the careers (or other activities) of their parents.

My cousin and her husband both work and they completely neglect their kids.

The issue IS true for bothe sides of the coin; working professionals and poor lazy people. Yet being a responsible parent does not equal being a good parent. The fine art of parenting and the masterwork of parenting when both parents work is something that is totally debatable, yet totally acheivable as long as the parents are first responsible (from pre-conception to post-HS graduation) and second can honestly prove their love to their child.

[Boris Godunov]

Why are poor people automatically lazy? What about lazy rich people?

I know plenty of kids who had one stay-at-home parent in a wealthy family that ended up being a spoiled, drug-using sh*ts.

My mom and dad both worked fullt-ime jobs, and my brother and I both grew into stable, healthy and productive adults. I think two working parents can do a fine job, so long as they are two responsible working parents. Irresponsible parents will likely produce irresponsible children whether they both work or not.