"Kissing"? Or just "friendly"?

[Ethelred]

Cousins is too nebulous.

WHAT TYPE OF COUSIN?

First cousins is a Bad Idea.

Not always maybe but often enough they will both carry a hidden recessive. A friend of mine's parents were first cousins. All the kids were a bit weird but then the parents were odd even if they weren't first cousins. However they had eight kids. The last two were unconsionable as number five and six were both blind. Exactly the expected 25 percent ratio for a recessive gene. Which also means that is is likely that only two of the other eight aren't carrying the same nasty recessive gene.

Odds

Two blind - which was the result

Four with the bad gene

Two free of it.

No telling how many other problems carried over. The father was awfull. Cheapest SOB I have ever met. A neurosurgeon and he actually had his kidds living on peanut butter, bread and potatoes while he ate lobster. I am not kidding. A neurosurgeon and he married his first cousin. A neurosurgeon and he had more kids not only after one blind one but after two in row.

First cousins have a 25% genetic overlap not counting the fact that most human genes are the same in the first place. Second cousins have considerably better odds of not having problems. Third cousins are close to the same as marrying someone that is not at all related.

First cousins is a Bad Idea in general. At the very least get a genetic screening.

[Dom Pedro II]

Actually, there was a recent study done that showed that there's only a 7% increase in the chance of birth defects of children of first cousins.

[Kirnwaffen]

Hey, if the sex is good, why not?

Seriously though, love or infatuation? You'll never know unless you go find out. Go for it.

[Dinner]

Another disgusting example of historical inbreeding is the Ptolomy (spelling?) dynasty in Egypt. They wanted to keep the claim on the thrown "in the family" so there were several examples of Brothers marrying their sisters. That's even worse then cousins!

[Q Classic]

find out if it's infatuation or love. then, look at him, long, and hard, and move to another state.

write a novel about love that is not to be. shop around for a publisher. have all of them reject you.

ask yourself whether it was really worth it, moving away and not taking that chance at love, if it was that. look at your bill. see the letters "third notice". sell your story to an adult magazine after adding in many explicit sex scenes. the kinkier, the better.

move back to your original state. meet up with him again. get shloppy drunk and wake up in bed with him the next day. see the magazine you sold your story to on his nightstand. be absolutely mortified that you forgot to use a pen name.

move to a different state and change your name. write another story, again about lost love, and try to sell it again. read in someone else's book that all writing has to do with one's genitals. be very afraid. get a prescription for xanax.

problem solved.

[Alinestra Covelia]

Q Cubed, your advice is quite frightening in its accuracy. Have you been following me around?

And for those of you wondering, he's my second cousin. (My granduncle's grandson.) He's a few months older than me, and in fact in Chinese our names are nearly identical save for one syllable - our names were chosen purposefully because they fit into a poem scheme.

As for personality, oh he's got that and more - don't you worry. He's well-travelled, educated under the British system (like me), and shares many of my hobbies, perhaps including what Alexander's Horse has described above. He's funny, sensitive, and bilingual (Chinese/English).

And he's a virgin. This, in addition to being my cousin. How's that for forbidden fruit?

The only problem is, he's now 11,000 miles away so a relationship could be a bit tricky. If nothing else, I'm certainly testing out how well it withstands separation!

[Jon Miller]

2nd cousin

no reason not to go for it from the genetic angle

from the family angle, you would know better than us

if they don't seem to adverse (and you reallywant it), than go for it

Jon Miller

[Adalbertus]

Sorry, I couldn't be arsed to read all the posts, but my 0.02 ?:

Not only is there a higher risk of birth defects but the offspring have a greater risk of getting a double recessive gen that causes a genetic disorder

The latter is exactly what crates the higher risks of birth defects.
I've read on an investigation on birds (no reference, though, it has been to long ago) that a certain species prefers first cousins. There are two points: For close relatives, the risk of genetic defects increases. But on the other hand, it is exactly you genes, you favour by breeding with close relatives, which is a good thing (for your genes, not necessarily for yourself or for humanity). For those birds therefore, it seems to be favourable to breed with relatives (I don't remember if they enter a lifelong relationship or not, which is a thing which doesn't matter for birds who get adult in a year, but for human children it does) - but anyway, if breeding with a cousin happened among your close common ancestors, I would refrain, otherwise, go on if you both are sure to be happy with this situation, and mostly with each other. There is more to a human life (yours as well as your potential children) than genetics.
I know of a situation where my parents thought about something between my brother and a cousine (nothing seriously happened, though) and even being quite conservative they had no real problems with that.

[Adalbertus]

And for those of you wondering, he's my second cousin.

Sorry, read that too late, I would definitely go for her if she only wanted to
About the distance: If he's worth the money and time you should spend it. You'll have to ask yourself. It hasn't anything to do with "relative".

[Kirnwaffen]

Second cousin? Go for it.

[SuperSneak]

I'm assuming you are Asian and that is where the dismay is coming from? In a typical Cuacasian family it seems like a second cousin relationship would be scandalous, but not so horrific. My interaction with Asians is that there is a much greater emphasis placed on familial honor and prudence. So you have a generalized societal disdain coupled with a cultural one as well? That is a tough row to hoe.

My gut tells me that you are more into the romance and the danger and excitement, coupled with the natural closeness you feel for him. I hesitate to believe that you are discovering a mature, adult reaction based on time spent and mutual growth.

I have a first cousin who I have a very natural affinity with and there was a lot of bizarre sexual tension when we met (I am adopted and didn't meet her until I was 21--she's a year older). I also have a cousin in law I've been very attracted to over the years (also met her late) and even came close to fooling around with.

In retrospect, the allure of the danger and impropriety were much more germaine to my feelings than any real connection based on true affection and knowledge...so my warning would be to consider all that is at stake and, if you decide to pursue the relationship, do so very cautiously. The disasterous consequences of a misstep are certainly not worth the brief thrill.

But I'll have sex with you if you need a release. I'm here for you.

[Kirnwaffen]

But I'll have sex with you if you need a release. I'm here for you.

But Sneak, you're a married man!!!

[Imran Siddiqui]

Don't remind him .

[Bereta_Eder]

Yes but he is a humanitarian also

[SuperSneak]

Exactly....the needs of the many and all that.