Mornington Crescent: Northern League Version

[Imran Siddiqui]

The game is only 4 turns old, Imran, it's not hard to check

Hence the smily. Blasted, no humored Brits .

Chesham should do the trick and delay Provost's Haislip Tactic.

[Flubber]

MILE END

should foil all nubian elements and obliterate any chance of the haislip tactic by provost.

The triple-overbuster manouevre though is up for grabs

[Provost Harrison]

Bugger.

Although I always have a backup plan, so I shall play Covent Garden. I should have known better than to try and pull the wool over your eyes, especially at this level of competition...

[Seneca]

I'm going to swing way out west:

Acton Town

[Seneca]

For the ****ing sake of ****ing ****, everyone stop ****ing about and ****ing get on with the ****ing game, you ****s!

****! What a ****ing load of ****!

If you don't mind my saying so.

[Imran Siddiqui]

Ah, our delaying tactics worked. For getting all mad and angry, Seneca is fined 2 nisbits. There is no place in this genteel game for your outbursts.

Now, to get ready for the George's Cross played brilliantly by Byron Littlearse in the 1934 championships, I'll have to play Neasden

[Seneca]

There is no place in this genteel game for your outbursts

Yes there ****ing well is. This the northern game, and any **** who can't hack it can just **** off.

[Imran Siddiqui]

My my... another nisbit knocked off. When we say Northern, we mean London .

[Provost Harrison]

Time for a spin around the monument by playing St James Park in a truly quasigregorian roulette gambit style.

You're all playing right into my hands

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

I may, or may not have made a move. However I'm not going to reveal what it was, if indeed it happened at all. This, of course, means we are now in the realms of Whimbrel's Muntjac.

Professor Augustine St John Whimbrel (1887- ) was the first person to introduce Quantum theory to MC. His breakthrough was the realisation that we cannot be defined solely by our existance, but must also be defined by our relationship/proximity to other persons or items. This means I cannot be simply "Ron Jeremy", but must be "Ron Jeremy by the tree" or "Ron Jeremy attempting to put a clumsy stranglehold on Seneca" in order to be verified in existance.

Whimbrel's Muntjac theory is as follows. Should a Muntjac deer stray into the Tube in an ill-advised hunt for tasty roots to eat, it will disappear from sight. We would not be able to say with any degree of certainty where it was in the maze of stations and tunnels. All we could conclude is that it had ceased to exist as a clearly defined entity, but instead must be considered a field of potential existance that encompasses the entire London Underground system.

However, since all those people in the Underground at that time must have their own existance defined at least in part by their proximity to the elusive Munjac, this means that they have all actually ceased to exist as defined entities too, and again can be considered as fields of potential existance. Therefore the man on the platform at Paddington is therefore simultaneously boarding a train at King's Cross and buying a Kit-Kat at Maida Vale. Only the vanished Muntjac can define precisely where the commuter actually is by revealing itself and defining it's proximity to others causing their existance to be clarified as a definite entity.

Whimbrel applied the principle to his own life. Therefore, as we can no longer see him, we must assume that he is alive in an infinite field of potential existance. However he has responded to no letters since his cremation in 1963.

So what does this mean to my game? As no-one knows my present location, this means that no-one can actually verify their own either until I choose to reveal myself. I now define their positions. This means I can reveal that Provost is now on Northolt, Imran is playing as default Prebendary on Bayswater until a stepping fold-through is completed, while Seneca and Flubber are simultaneously groped on Sloane Square.

And that, my friends, is called "genius".

[Provost Harrison]

That is good deduction there Laz. And any good physicist will tell you that Whimbrel was the main inspiration behind Einstein, Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Bohr...

This could possibly give my game away, but alas, position enough is not alone, you need to know my momentum...my strategy, my direction, my plan. Indeed, the wonders of the uncertainty principle as applied to Mornington Crescent. You will never quite know enough...

...So I move to Golders Green

[Seneca]

You ****s can just eat my ****, you ****ing bunch of ****s!

Harlesden

There! You haven't got a ****ing clue what to do about that, you ****ing ****s, have you! ****s!

[Provost Harrison]

Look Seneca, if you continue at this rate, you are going to be struck off from the Profession Mornington Crescent Guild. Tread carefully there, the powers-that-be may be angry.

And come on, aren't any of you going to put up some sizeable resistance?

Oakwood

(I've got off there before. Not like that though )

[Seneca]

Why are you assuming all the asterisks represent rude, insulting words?

Frankly, that says more about your depraved sensibilities than it does about me.

Edit: Oh ****ing ****, I can't even ****ing spell 'asterisk'! ****!


And why does the auto-censor keep replacing 'lovely fluffy bunny rabbit' with ****?

[Imran Siddiqui]

Says you. And by my count, that's not a reliable fellow.

Now, after being exposed (to say the least) by the Quantum Theories, I may have to perform the counter General Relativity Move used by the young Einstein himself, in his first and only year of play (where he won the championships by so confusing the other players, that they totally forgot where Morington Crescent was).

In that spirit: Latimer Road