Anyone up for a D&D adventure?

[Vlad Antlerkov]

(Note: If you want to participate as a PC, state race and class when you post.)

I'll act as DM, so...

You arrive at a cave. You see twelve orcs, but they haven't seen you.

What do you do?

[red_jon]

Give them oral sex.

[Vlad Antlerkov]

Jon: As you attempt to give them oral sex, several of them bash your head open with clubs and swords. You die an ignominious death.

(Should I roll stats for another character?)

Everyone else:

They've sighted the party and are running toward us. Right now, they're perhaps 20 yds away and closing fast. What do you do?

[Lorizael]

Red_jon, Orcs have, erm, big ones. That might be difficult, though I know nothing of you.

And Orcs are also greedy and impatient. They would see you as a possible mate and they would fight amongst themselves to see which one got you.

Causing chaos to break... hey wait... wow, that's an amazing plan. If you can survive it.

[Sandman]

Race: Human

Class: Paladin/Undead Hunter

I move into the cave to create a chokepoint, regardless of dangers within.

[red_jon]

Originally posted by Lorizael
Red_jon, Orcs have, erm, big ones. That might be difficult, though I know nothing of you.

I have a big mouth

I rise from the dead and do it again

[August Borms]

Race: Human
Class: Bard

I follow Sandman into the cave while trying to pickpocket him.

[chequita guevara]

That's so gross. Orcs are ugly muthers.

[Lorizael]

Anyway, is this second or third ed?

I'l be... Lorizael. An elven conjurer. Though he was made in second edition. And he is of immense power at this point. I turn invisible and fly over the Orcs so as not to be heard. I'm a pacifist and I don't wear armor, I don't want a fight.

I'm guessing, however, you will not let me use the great Lorizael Lomaut, creator of the awesome spell, Lorizael's Grease.

And I think Lorizael will have sex with Red_Jon. Lorizael never did draw much of a distinction between the sexes. Except for human men. They were just dirty. Red_Jon, you're not human are you? Or a Dwarf... eww.

[Vlad Antlerkov]

Jon:

The orc bashes your head open again. You die ignominiously again. On the other hand, you distracted one of the orcish grunts from fighting.

Sandman:

You get attacked by two orcs. *rolls dice a bunch of times* You slay both.

Now you see August under attack. What do you do?

August:

Your attempts at pickpocketing-- *rolls dice*-- fail. You decide to pick Jon's pockets.

You find a shiny new crowbar. Now three orcs are staring at you. What do you do?

[Vlad Antlerkov]

Lorizael:

Third edition.

August is your comrade. He's under attack. Will you join combat? (You don't have to fight in a melee. You could just cast spells.)

[Lorizael]

What spells would I actually have? I don't have the handbook in front of me right now. Unless you will let me use my tenth level elven conjurer...

[red_jon]

I steal a nuclear weapon and end this game...

[Sandman]

Now you see August under attack. What do you do?

I grab August (resisting temptation to use him as a flail) and drag him into the cave.

Hopefully Lorazael will use his magic to prevent pursuit.

[Ming]

Originally posted by red_jon
I steal a nuclear weapon and end this game...

Stop your spamming of this thread...