One of life's many decisions

[devilmunchkin]

i'm actually agreeing with GP here. She didn't love you or your relationship enough to stay true to it...she isn't worth poop on your shoe right now..and her current behavior is beyond anything i've every seen (and i've seen alot! )
Best thing to do right now is calm down separately. If she hopes to accomplish anything, she needs to go away and cool off and come back acting like a civilized human being. And that's IF you even WANT to talk to her. She cheated on you...therefore...you OWE HER NOTHING (unless she lives there too..in which case if it's over be a gentleman and at least give her all her stuff back (all of it..no keeping her unmentionables) or make arrangements to move out). If you do break..stay broken until she has thouroughly proven herself. If she's done it once, chances are she'll do it again...especially if she thinks you're a push over.
If you truly love this girl and are still wanting to try, it will take an enormous effort o her part..trust is something so hard to regain once broken. If you opt to stay with her (after she's declined out of her screaming monkey phase), you might consider counseling.

[Blisterz]

Originally posted by devilmunchkin
i'm actually agreeing with GP here. She didn't love you or your relationship enough to stay true to it...she isn't worth poop on your shoe right now..and her current behavior is beyond anything i've every seen (and i've seen alot! )
Best thing to do right now is calm down separately. If she hopes to accomplish anything, she needs to go away and cool off and come back acting like a civilized human being. And that's IF you even WANT to talk to her. She cheated on you...therefore...you OWE HER NOTHING (unless she lives there too..in which case if it's over be a gentleman and at least give her all her stuff back (all of it..no keeping her unmentionables) or make arrangements to move out). If you do break..stay broken until she has thouroughly proven herself. If she's done it once, chances are she'll do it again...especially if she thinks you're a push over.
If you truly love this girl and are still wanting to try, it will take an enormous effort o her part..trust is something so hard to regain once broken. If you opt to stay with her (after she's declined out of her screaming monkey phase), you might consider counseling.

Well I guess we will just wait and see. I assume it must be pretty hard living with someone that you have to kick the bathroom door in once a week to make sure you are still alive (and no I am not that careless, she is just parinoid). So I mean she does kinda have the reason to look elseware affection, I just wish she would of told me, thats all.

To be completly honest, I would not of been upset if she had of told me herself, and not after I had to catch her in a lie.

Maybe a few weeks apart and me getting back on just the juice, and we can try and work things out. I dunno, I guess we will see.

[orange]

blitz - are you bisexual? (re: comments in sava's thread and comments in gay test thread)

[Imran Siddiqui]

I agree with GP... dump her. You can't trust her. Remember the phrase: 'Once a cheater, always a cheater' is usually true.

[devilmunchkin]

blisterz: it sounds like your realtionship is bad enough without the cheating. one thing you must know:
THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

[orange]

Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui
I agree with GP... dump her. You can't trust her. Remember the phrase: 'Once a cheater, always a cheater' is usually true.

even more likely to be true is "once a b itch, always a b itch"

[Pharfee]

Originally posted by orange


even more likely to be true is "once a b itch, always a b itch"

b itch

Hey, that's clever!

[Apocalypse]

I've always been the guy that girls cheat on other guys with. There has always been something that the guys did or failed to do (though I know this isn't the case in all cheating events). I don't feel good about myself, but I just want to make people happy.

My advice, if she is willing to cheat on you, there is no point on going on with the relationship. Just try harder in the next one.

[chequita guevara]

If you don't believe in monogamy (which I don't either), then the issue isn't cheating, it's lying. That should be an easier problem with which to deal. Then again, saying you're okay with polygamy is a whole different thing than actually being okay with it (as I have learned--jealousy is part of the animal).

You did break her trust by going back on the heroin. Part of it is her fault, but the realtionship had other problems as well. If you can admit that, you can try and fix it. Just cuz she knew you're on methadone doesn't mean she can handle you being on heroin.

[loinburger]

I can't abide with lying (and that includes cheating)--I've broken up with two girlfriends after they've lied to me. When it comes to lying, I generally follow the "One strike and you're out" rule, because if they lie once, they'll lie again, guaranteed.

Obviously, my advice would be to ditch her and keep your distance from her for quite awhile (ideally, permanently). Keep in mind, of course, that I'm an unforgiving SOB, so gauge my advice accordingly.

[orange]

Che makes a very good point.

The real problem is the lying. Because really, if your girlfriend comes to you and says either A) I want to have relations with this person or B) I have just had relations with this person, she's putting the ball in your court and you can decide how to handle it. If you don't want to share her, you can let her go or give her an ultimatum. If you're ok with that, than you can say so. But the fact that you had to 'catch' her, either in the act or overhearing it or from a friend or something means that she's not being honest with you - and that can apply to more than just who else she's 'dating'.

[chequita guevara]

And you wear funny hats.

[orange]

Originally posted by loinburger
I can't abide with lying (and that includes cheating)--I've broken up with two girlfriends after they've lied to me. When it comes to lying, I generally follow the "One strike and you're out" rule, because if they lie once, they'll lie again, guaranteed.

How grave a lie does it have to be? I mean, if she lies about her weight is that it? What about if she lies about how many guys she's been with? Etc...

[TCO]

I can't help it...it rhymes

Ditch the b*tch!

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Just 2 more cents:

The big issue here is trust. She violated yours, and it sounds like you violated hers (she knew you were an addict, but you were trying not use -- and yet you did). You've got a damaged relationship here, and you're both to blame (here I beg to differ with devilmunchkin). What to do?

Here's what it sounds like to me: you don't want, and aren't ready for, a serious, committed relationship. Neither is/does your gf. No biggie; there's nothing special about committed monogamy, nothing that makes it any better than any other kind of relationship. But in any relationship, you've gotta be clear about what you want, and you've gotta both want the same things, whether it's being man-and-wife or being f*ckbuddies or something in between.

Here's what you must do: as you sit there feeling empty, feeling lonely, ask yourself: Do I want (a) to feel loved, (b) a companion, (c) some good sex, (d) the dynamic of a relationship, or (e) her in particular, over other women (or men) who could give me a, b, c, and/or d. If your answer is "e," start repairing what you have. It's anything else, say goodbye and start moving on.

And good luck, whatever you do.