What is the dumbest thing you've heard anybody say?

[Monk]

I was talking to a couple socialists about our options on May 1 and I actually said the magic words "What date is May 1 this year, anyway?"

Of course, it was obvious that I meant which day of the week. But it remained embarrasing as hell. It's on Wednesday, by the way.

[Asher]

I tend to forget most stupid things people say because there's no point in remembering it, but I do remember a couple years ago a Fox TV special on something, where the announcer proclaimed: "And it explodes into a FIREBALL of FLAMES!".

[Tuberski]

"It was in the last place I looked."

"Take some meat out of the freezer to unthaw."

"Would you like a hot apple pie?"......"Did I ask for a ****ing hot apple pie?"

[Playa del Carmen]

In 7th grade, we were trying to put the play Much Ado About Nothing in a 1940's setting in drama class. Someone asked, "Who won World War II?" I said, "Why don't you go to Nazi headquarters and find out?"

Oh, and the other day, I was trying to find a perfume by Estee Lauder for my grandmother's birthday or something, and I was telling my mom they didn't have the specific one she was looking for, but they did have Institution.
She promptly told me that was Intuition, then proceeded to laugh for five minutes.

[HisMajestyBOB]

One of my pet peeves is when some idiot says "It looks like a war zone"/"...like a nuclear bomb hit it"
Some idiot on TV said that the Mississippi flood was "like a warzone." A war with what? Supersoakers?

[Il Duce]

Bill Gates

How bout " 640K is enough for anyone." -Bill Gates

[Asher]

Re: Bill Gates

Originally posted by Il Duce
How bout " 640K is enough for anyone." -Bill Gates

And it was, at the time.

[Lung]

Anything stated to be more than 100% when referring to performance e.g dumb footballers saying "i gave 200% out there today!" D'UH!!!

[KrazyHorse]

"Geodesics? I love Earth Sciences"

[Al B. Sure!]

Lung:

200% of what they did the previous game (ie- twice as much effort) maybe?


and damn Monk... don't remind me I was born on the communist holiday...

[orange]

The rich got richer and the poor got richer during Reagan's administration.

[Inverse Icarus]

Originally posted by Lung
Anything stated to be more than 100% when referring to performance e.g dumb footballers saying "i gave 200% out there today!" D'UH!!!

i really like when football players thank jesus/god for their games.

"i'd like to 'tank' jesus christ, and the father almighty, for giving me the power to hit that guy really, really hard, dislocating his shoulder, fracturing several ribs, and breaking his leg. jesus was out there with me"

[Faeelin]

A girl who went to CCD, and was from a family of practicing Christians, was in a class on the history of the world. We were discussing the breakup of the islamic caliphates following the assasination of muhammed's grankids, and she said, "Oh my God! That's like the romans killing jesus!"

We stared, and at once said, "I think they did."


She also once asked what prostittues did in victorian times, to whch the teacher replied their hardworking tradition.

[Tuberski]

Originally posted by UberKruX


i really like when football players thank jesus/god for their games.

"i'd like to 'tank' jesus christ, and the father almighty, for giving me the power to hit that guy really, really hard, dislocating his shoulder, fracturing several ribs, and breaking his leg. jesus was out there with me"

Funny how you never hear them say this.

"I played a good game. I really thought we would win.........UNTIL JESUS MADE ME FUMBLE!"

[KrazyHorse]

Originally posted by UberKruX


i really like when football players thank jesus/god for their games.

"i'd like to 'tank' jesus christ, and the father almighty, for giving me the power to hit that guy really, really hard, dislocating his shoulder, fracturing several ribs, and breaking his leg. jesus was out there with me"

You're right. Jesus wouldn't settle for mere injuries; with him it's a fatality every time.