First love...

[Hobbes]

My first love and I just broke up because we were getting bogged down by the seriousness of our relationship. We were together for six months. I know this break is healthy for both of us and we still talk and hang out because we have the same friends. But I seem to be going into 'girlfriend withdrawl". I feel lazy, purposeless and confused.

Anyone else have stories of their 'first love'? and how did it end?

[Alexander's Horse]

My first love was my right hand. I considered cutting her off at times but we're still together.

Hope that helps.

[Hobbes]

Touching... let's hope Mrs.Horse doesn't find out about this...

[Alexander's Horse]

Her right hand is better than mine

[Imran Siddiqui]

I'm still dating my first love. It'll be a year on April 20th. So, she's in law school in Atlanta, and I hope to join her down south in the Fall. We got big plans for the future, and hopefully it all works out good .

[Asher]

First love? Wouldn't know.

Sorry to hear about your breakup though.

[orange]

How timely...

My first serious relationship (of almost three years) ended Monday, as a few Apolytoners know. I suppose it's for the best, and that if there is a future for us we'll get back together. But for now, she needs some space and some time, and I need to explore my options. It was very, very tough at first...but I've been doing better since.

Good luck to you, Hobbes. It ain't easy

[MrFun]

My first love was when I was 21 years old, which would be three and a half years ago.

Never forget the night he and I first met -- the feelings of intense, mutual attraction and passion.

But, I have told Apolyton members how I broke up, and what happened afterwards.

[loinburger]

My first relationship lasted about four days, my second lasted about a week, my third lasted about a week, my fourth lasted about three days, my fifth lasted about two days, and my sixth and most recent relationship lasted about two weeks. They don't call me the Lady's Man for nothing...

I can't really empathize with you too well, seeing as how your one relationship lasted over three times longer than all six of mine combined; I didn't exactly have a hefty emotional attachment in mine, and in most cases I didn't have any emotional attachment. The "withdrawal" phase you're describing either lasted a matter of hours, or was completely absent.

However, I'm familiar with several people who were emotionally attached to their first loves, most notable being my brother (who dated his first love for four years). The thing that I learned from them is that if you're breaking up, break up, for chrissakes, and don't dance around your new relationship status as single people. My brother broke up with his first girlfriend several times over their four year relationship, but they'd always get back together because they were basically addicted to the relationship. They felt like you do now: lazy, purposeless, and confused. Rather than move on with their lives in order to eliminate these unpleasant feelings, they regressed back into their doomed relationship.

The thing that finally broke my brother from the habit was finding someone new; not a fling (he'd usually have a couple of those after one of his breakups), but a new honest-to-god relationship. Of course, me as Mr. "emotional detachment" could call this "replacing one addiction with another" (it isn't in this case, since she is truly a fantastic girlfriend/fiancee and not just a "fix" for his addiction), and in fact I've got a friend who used to go from one "serious" relationship to another because, basically, he was addicted to relationships.

I dunno what you should do to get some purpose back, since I've never been in anything close to your situation. My addict brother got damn lucky that his new "fix" was a fantastic person, and in general I wouldn't recommend using a new relationship as a cure to the doldrums that are brought on by the old one. I'd also strongly counsel against getting back together with your old girlfriend, as it's a bad habit to get into; either break up with her or don't, and avoid the "seeing other people for a few days/weeks" trap. My addict friend was eventually cured of his addiction by hanging out with me too much and developing some of my emotional detachment as a result, but something inside me mourns that loss; one loinburger is enough.

[Imran Siddiqui]

me as Mr. "emotional detachment"

That would describe me a year or so ago .

[Asher]

That would describe me a year or so ago.

Oh come on, you've got a woman.
You're still emotionally detached, there's just someone in the bubble with you this time.

[Alexander's Horse]

I think you guys should go on the Love boat or something

[Imran Siddiqui]

Originally posted by Asher
Oh come on, you've got a woman.
You're still emotionally detached, there's just someone in the bubble with you this time.

Nope, you really do change after your first love. You'll see Asher, you'll see Asher.

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
I think you guys should go on the Love boat or something

Gosh, you're just full of good ideas.

[orange]

don't worry Mr. Fun, horse doesn't like to admit it, but his first love is and always has been his only love

isn't that correct, righty?