Vel's Strat Thread - Flirting - Pt. 1 - Icebreakers (for shy guys, 'specially)

[MrWhereItsAt]

Still waiting for word from Kass

Damn soap operas! Never watch them once - you SOOO get sucked in!

And I'd love to be flirting with the rest, but living 6-12 hours displaced from the bulk of you guys DOES kinda make contact a little... delayed.

[Velociryx]

David James! Howdy bud!

Good questions....don't know that I have the end-all answers to those, but here's how I generally try to approach it:

First, remember...it is ALWAYS best to flirt in a place that's very familiar to you....this is all the more important when you're approaching women in groups. Why? Well, if you see a woman who strikes your fancy, but she's out with a girlfriend of hers, you're absolutely right....it'd be rude to interrupt their evening out, but....the fact is that if you've got friends here, then you have help, cos guys enjoy helping each other out that way...lol (and if you're at a club where that's not the case, then just make sure to bring a buddy with you). Find the woman that takes your breath away, get your buddy to run a bit of interference for you, and you're all set!

Alternately, you can always try flirting with both of them! One or the other will be sending you out a stronger interest signal, and one you know who that is, it's pretty easy to rope another person into the group to keep the numbers even....)

In larger groups, it's usually quite easy to get "into" the group, especially if it's a mixed gatehring (males and females out together). It's easy enough to approach one of the guys and challenge him to a friendly game of darts, pool, trivia...or whatever the bar in question has for entertainment....and once you're in the group...

(Oh! Important point! Study the group dynamic before issuing such a challenge! It may be in your best interest to challenge the "leader" of the group and intentionally lose....that depends on how you percieve the group tho...it could be the case that you can come in, issue a challenge and sorta assume leadership over the group by winning....thus, most of the attention naturally gravitates to you....but again, each group will be different, so study from a distance till you get a feel for things!)

How's that?

[Kassiopeia]

Originally posted by MrWhereItsAt
Still waiting for word from Kass

You don't want to hear.

Though, it didn't fall on the email part.

[Ishtar]

Ok, Kass...

Fill us in...maybe someone here can help figure it out.

[Kassiopeia]

Originally posted by Ishtar
Ok, Kass...
Fill us in...maybe someone here can help figure it out.

I can't begin "figuring it out". Let's just say that a former best friend of mine got there first.

[Ishtar]

And why is no one in here flirting?

practice makes perfect you know....

Where's the Professor anyway? He hasn't shown up for class in days...

[David James]

Ahh... flirting with both girls at once. That could work, I suppose


Ok, here's what happened to me today:

I sat down at a table in the library and sitting across the table was a very cute girl whom I noticed once I had sat down. I wanted to talk to her and somehow ask her out but I couldn't think of a way. To complicate matters another girl sat down some time later on the same side of the table as me but some distance away. Until she sat down I had been planning to wait till the cutie got up and asked her then but of course when she did get up to leave I did nothing other than smile at her (and she smiled back). I really feel dumb now but I didn't exactly want to ask out a girl whom I've never met in front of another just like that.


Hi David Floyd

Well, other than girl troubles (see above), I'm doing fairly well. How about you?

[Fitz]

Vel, a few comments on your original post (not having time to read all ten pages of this thread):

1) On paying attention and making lots of physical contact:

I'm not a physical contact kinda guy, and I suffer from a fair amount of lack of focus in regards to my attention.

However, I've found that my biggest successes in getting the attention of women almost exclusively come from paying very little attention to a women once past the first introductory stage. I do the initial eye contact thing (along with the crooked little smile and small nod), and striking up a conversation is easy enough, but once that happens, I find being easily distracted helps rather than hurts. If they are part of a group and I'm the interloper, then I talk to all in the group, and force them to grab my attention back. If I'm with friends, even better. They want my attention too, so I'm forced to break a conversation (typically with "can we continue this conversation later" as the parting line) and when I come back later, it makes them all that much more interested.

In regards the physical contact, I acctually dislike it enough that I have to suppress my initial instinct in regards to strangers, which is to pull away when touched. Once again, this seems to work to my benefit. It seems invariable that when I initiate contact (even casual) that the response is immediately along the lines of "oh, its obvious what this guy wants". But if I let them initiate, and in fact continue without responding for a while, women seem to touch me more and more as time passes, probably trying to get my attention.

2) I don't ever use props, because it seems to hamper me more than help. I find being myself works fine, but then I usually have an enourmous resevoir of triviality to talk about, so maybe that's just a personal style.

3) I can't wait to read the next installment, which I can only assume is going to be along the lines of "Taking it to the next level".

P.S. - Watch out for those fiesty chicks, unless all you are really looking for is the flirting. They tend to be all talk and no game.

[David Floyd]

Well, other than girl troubles (see above), I'm doing fairly well. How about you?

Outside of my broken arm/surgery thing?

Not too bad, not too bad - enjoying college mainly.

[Kassiopeia]

Who was it that said that email asking doth not work? You are WRONG!

Let's get to the start.

1. I ask her out via email, encouraged by Ishtar. (I am ever so grateful to you!)
2. No response. I decide to ask on Monday.
3. On Monday, friend tells that he (friend) is seeing her.
4. I depressed.
5. I read respsonse email, finally. SHE SAID YES!
6. What will happen next? Things look very very very good for me - but not that good for my friend. God damn he was such a weasel lying to me like that! :kill:

But aggression aside! Tomorrow, it's face to face time! This time, the ice has been broken, it's all good!

[David Floyd]

Congrats! I'm sorta feeling out the girl I'm looking at right now, going slow, etc - hope my luck is as good as yours

[Kassiopeia]

Originally posted by David Floyd
Congrats! I'm sorta feeling out the girl I'm looking at right now, going slow, etc - hope my luck is as good as yours

I even have her phone number. Would of used it right away, but it's one o'clock in the night and, well,
Sleep? An unfamiliar concept...

[David Floyd]

Remember the three day rule

[Kassiopeia]

Originally posted by David Floyd
Remember the three day rule

Didn't step to mah mind until now.

[David Floyd]

Come on, you can't forget the life lessons of "Swingers"!