Clinton Is More Than Meets The Eye

[Wiglaf]

Judi Gibbs, 32, a glamorous redhead who danced at a Hot Springs topless bar and boasted she and Clinton were lovers, burned to death with her boyfriend when fire destroyed her Fordyce mansion. By that time she was running a ritzy call-girl operation. Clinton flew over the ruins of the mansion and reportedly told a bodyguard that one of the most beautiful women he ever met had lived there.

For all of you who thought he was just a player, now the story's broken that he's much much more than that. We're looking at something almost as bad as a tea party with Chinese spies, a sweeping lie to all Americans while keeping a straight face, and the (planned) death of Buddy. Really, did anyone wonder why he died just when Clinton's popularity was fading and his library was doing poorly? Now people line up just to see the stuffed dog head. Christ.

Anyway, article here. I'm suprised Clinton would make it so obvious - one glance at the list and you'll see what I mean. (I checked CNN to verify some of it)

[Asher]

The Weekly World News...cute.

From the same issue Wiggy is citing, the following great stories:

THERE'S AN ALIEN IMPLANT IN J.Lo's BUTT '!
SPACE ALIEN GAL CLAIMS "NASA ASTRONAUT GOT ME PREGNANT"
NEW AIDS TAX WILL COST AVERAGE FAMILY $5,000 A YEAR!
CONFESSIONS OF A PIZZA DELIVERYMAN
HUMAN BRAINS TRANSPLANTED INTO RACEHORSES!
TEENS' STINKY FEET CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE!

Really, I'm not kidding.

[BeBMan]

Do you say there are no space aliens

[DinoDoc]

Wiglaf's story seems oddly similar to thins one.

[Starchild]

Come now Asher. The Weekly World News is a fine, unbaised source of information. I mean, look at this breaking story

SPACE ALIEN GAL CLAIMS NASA ASTRONAUT GOT ME PREGNANT'


By MIKE FOSTER

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. - A sex scandal of intergalactic proportions flared up when a female space alien told NASA officials she's pregnant - and an astronaut is the daddy!

The lady extraterrestrial claims she was seduced by the womanizing rocket jockey while serving aboard the International Space Station for two months as part of a top-secret exchange program, a high-level NASA source reveals.

"This is a potential public-relations disaster," says the space agency insider, who leaked an eye-popping photo of the expectant E.T. to Weekly World News.

"We're out there trying to convince our friends in the universe that we're a mature species ready to accept the responsibilities of interstellar flight. Then this happens and it looks like we can't keep our spacesuits zipped up and our hands off their women."

NASA has clamped a lid of secrecy over its ongoing investigation into the sexual-misconduct charges.

Officials refuse to acknowledge that aliens have been aboard the ISS at all - far less that any have been playing "dock the rocket ship" with astronauts.

Neither the name of the Romeo astronaut nor of the frisky female alien have been released. But rumors about the steamy fling have been circulating through the aerospace grapevine, due to the indiscretion of the skirt-chasing space hero himself.

"When this guy got back to Earth, he couldn't stop bragging about how he'd 'joined the 240-mile-high club' with this gorgeous 'space babe,' as he called her - even though the whole alien program is supposed to be highly classified," revealed the NASA insider.

"He kept yakking about how 'out-of-this-world' it was making love in zero gravity, that they did things you wouldn't dream of attempting on Earth. And his own performance, of course, was supposedly Herculean - he claims he made her antennas pop up.

"Honestly, it was like being back in the '60s when women were just sex objects and astronauts were these macho supermen who could get all the girls to fawn over them."

But the high-flying Don Juan made one big goof.

"He and the alien gal didn't bother to use any protection," said the insider. "It seems a scientist buddy of his had told him that the chances of a human and an extraterrestrial conceiving a child were one in a million, about the same as for an alligator and a duck.

After confirming her pregnancy three weeks ago, the alien mom-to-be informed her superiors and, acting on her behalf, they've formally asked NASA for a full explanation.

"The alien told NASA, 'NASA astronaut made me pregnant,' and that our astronaut will have to 'do the right thing,'" the insider said.

"We don't even know exactly what that means yet, but I can tell you, the astronaut is depressed and worried - he was hoping to remain a bachelor for years."

[Guynemer]

Ahhh, Wiggy. How ever did we get by without you?

[Wiglaf]

From the same issue Wiggy is citing, the following great stories:

I've confimed the story in part with CNN. Those other ones probably aren't nearly as valid (although I will check).

DinoDoc:

Herschel Friday, an Arkansas lawyer who had been on the Clinton campaign finance committee, died in a airplane accident on 1 March 1994. His plane did not "explode"; the elderly (73-year-old) Friday, at the controls, crashed it during an attempted landing on a poorly-lighted private airfield at dusk on a dark and drizzly day. Nothing suspicious about this one, hence the need to claim that the plane "exploded." That always sounds suspicious.

Poorly lighted airfield? Dark day? Nothing suspicious? Crappy way to go about looking smart, Dino. Plus that link doesn't directly address the story now on the WWN anyway.

[Asher]

Originally posted by Wiglaf
I've confimed the story in part with CNN. Those other ones probably aren't nearly as valid (although I will check).

So gimmie CNN links.

[H Tower]

so wiglaf, nice to see you back, oh wait, its not April Fools day. nevermind

[DinoDoc]

Originally posted by Wiglaf
Crappy way to go about looking smart, Dino. Plus that link doesn't directly address the story now on the WWN anyway.

The link was meant to show you that body count lists are easy to create. Or did the link the the Bush body count list show you nothing about the ease at which this tripe can be created?

[Wiglaf]

One more, Dino:

Myth: 14. Florence Martin - Accountant for the CIA and had information on the Barry Seal case. Three gunshot wounds to the head.

Fact: On 23 October 1994 69-year-old Florence Martin of Mabelle, Texas (40 miles from Wichita Falls) was murdered in her home by three gunshots to the head through a pillow. She wasn't an accountant for the CIA, though: She worked the graveyard shift at a convenience store in nearby Seymour and had lived in that area for decades. The murder is still unsolved.

How listing an unsolved murder can be a good way to knock off an "urban legend" is beyond me, I'm afraid. But anyway...

So gimmie CNN links.

http://www.cnn.com/2001/ALLPOLITICS/stories/01/21/clinton.pardons/index.html

http://www.cnn.com/US/Newsbriefs/9510/10-26/index.html

http://www.cnn.com/WEATHER/9904/09/storms.01/index.html

http://www.cnn.com/ALLPOLITICS/1998/04/20/voters.voice/index.html

http://www.cnn.com/2001/ALLPOLITICS/stories/01/21/ray.clinton/index.html

http://www.cnn.com/2001/ALLPOLITICS/stories/01/20/clinton.pardon.02/index.html

Tell me if you want any more. Each link confirms a specific aspect of the WWN report.

[Asher]

ROFL

Half of those are unrelated to this thread, the other half are basically saying someone Clinton knew died.

Do you know someone that died? Goddamn murderer.

[Case]

Is this Wiglaf's way of admitting he's someones troll DL? I mean, who in their right mind would take stories from that publication seriously.

I like this:

Mars turning Red White and Blue

PASADENA, Calif. - We may soon have to stop calling Mars "the Red Planet" and rename it the Red, White and Blue Planet - because the far-flung world is turning the colors of the American flag, astonished scientists say.

"It's remarkable. Mars is starting to look like the Empire State Building lit up in patriotic colors on the Fourth of July," says a NASA insider privy to top-secret new photos of Mars.

The extraordinary photos were beamed back to Earth by the unmanned 2001 Mars Odyssey space probe just days after it reached the distant planet on Oct. 24, 2001.

They were promptly stamped "classified" by secretive NASA officials, who refuse to release them "until the phenomenon is better understood," according to the insider.

The explanation for the familiar red hue from which Mars gets its nickname is well-known - the rocky surface is covered with rust. But the change to the new color scheme, believed to have begun in late September, is baffling even to rocket scientists.

"The best our geologists can come up with is that recent storms may have exposed ice and water just under the surface," said the insider. "The melting ice would appear blue, like Earth's oceans, and the evaporating water would form clouds, explaining the white. "But what is mind-boggling is that the red, white and blue aren't in random patches, but distinct bands -suggesting they are the product of intelligent design.

"As crazy as it sounds, many of us now believe that the inhabitants of Mars are doing this deliberately as a symbol of their solidarity with the United States."

Nice to have you back Wiggy

[Wiglaf]

Give me proof than Vince Foster wasn't having an affair with Hillary or wasn't shot elsewhere and dumped in a park, then laugh all you want.

[BeBMan]

You started this, you should give us proof.