Life, what a sick joke

[mactbone]

I'm doing this because of self-pity (why else?) yet, I loathe myself for it. I'll say right now I'm a whiny ***** and you shouldn't listen to me, but here it goes.

Life is a big kick in the balls.
Stupid ass elementary teachers tell you that if you're nice to everyone, good things happen. Be an individual, be unique.
If only they could see me now.
I've never gone on a date. All of my experiences in that dept. have sucked. I've asked girls out, and they politely decline. Once, I got a girl to go to some russian dancing music thing and she ends up bringing another guy, and eventually starts going out with a totally different guy. I've liked many ladies and wanted to ask them out and they either have a boyfriend (or fiance) or they make it pretty clear that I can't 'touch the hem of their garment'.

I've figured out that everything you're told as a child are just ideals which are impractical and false in the real world. Chicks dig guys who think they're from the inner city and wear their pants around their knees. Chicks hate anyone that is non-conformist unless they express that non-conformity in their clothes and looks. You can be a non-conformist, but only if you look like one. Well what if I look normal but act a little weird? As in geeky, strange, laughing at inappropriate times (I have a very ironic sense of humor), speaking my mind, telling people the blunt truth sometimes, being totally silent at times and being an extremely talkative person at other times. I hate all the pretentiousness in society. If it were up to me, everyone would wear a sign on their heads that printed exactly what we were thinking. No room for confusion and no way to have idiots be respected.

OK, now we move onto not having any friends, at least none that matter. In my senior year of High School all my friends left: most to college, but one to Austin, Texas because of his parents' divorce. So then I feel as depressed as ever and eventually get into serious trouble and 'through adversity become stronger'. Yeah, well it got me through High School. Then I went to College, the great melting pot of ideas. Sure everyone accepted me, unlike in High School where I was just a band nerd, but my roommate was a psycho freak. Now, I have a decent roommate and I still haven't made any good friends and whenever I go home from College I'm reminded how much of a ****ing moron I am that I can't get a date OR a friend.

I haven't even done any of the crazy stuff most people have. I've had a little champagne at a wedding and I had a coke and rum (which I drank in two hours). Me and some friends (when I had some) threw small pumpkins at mailboxes once (and hit two out of the whole batch). I got caught at a now out-of-business dept. store stealing (definitely my lowest point ever). That's it. There's the gritty details of my life, all the bad stuff I've ever done aside from lying to people or other minor things in my childhood.

I'm not a spiritual person, or none of this would be much of a problem because I would have something to believe in. Now, all I have is self-pity, books, music, games, and the Bears. And the only big Bears fans I know are online.

I don't even play music anymore, and even if I did I wouldn't be able to play live. There is nothing in the world like playing in front of a full crowd.

Don't you wish it all meant something?

All I want is to go on at least one date, have one true friend, and be able to say, "I've lived."
Right now all I can say is that, just like everyone else, "I'm dying."

[General Ludd]

Nothing wrong with having no social life, I quite enjoy it.

[faded glory]

Its sad you pity yoruself like that.


Ya, I understand that high-school ****. When I got out I was depressed also. You spend years in that fake Social system, inside, you are a somebody. Once your graduate, you realize it was all a lie. The Drugs, the football team, your friends. All an illusion...cause they are never there when you need them.


As for women. I honestly havent had much trouble getting them. Maybe what you need is a makeover...or somthing. I dont quite get it, what the problem is there. Get there number, hook up later...etc have fun. Get to know them, so you can find ways to have fun with them.

Your not "Dying". There are millions of diseased, ravaged, crippled human beings on this planet who would kill to be in your shoes just a week or month. So you dont have it that bad.

[mactbone]

When I said I'm dying it's the truth, just like you are. Every second you're alive, is one less second until you dies, ipso facto we're all dying. We can't stop dying because then we'd be immortal.

Oh, no drugs, no sports, just Symphonic, Marching and Jazz Band.

I also don't totally pity myself, I just get into moods where I see everyone having a good time, with friends and get jealous. Then the loathsome self-pity.

[Bereta_Eder]

well I haven't read a single word of what you wrote except the title but it immideatly brought to my mind a "proza" (a genre of theatrical play) where the one and only actor who carries on his shoulders the whole play says in one time in a resounding, bold voice and proud stature:

School IS arduous. Life IS arduous. (actually he uses a slang word for arduous which fits even better)

I don't know why, but his phrase, just that small phrase, the way he pronounces it and the stature he had when prnouncing it, has helped me de-guiltialize my self a great deal in a moment of my life when I really need it.

Theater is divine.

I have no idea why your title brought that very small and so meaningful phrase to my mind though...

[faded glory]

Originally posted by MacTBone
When I said I'm dying it's the truth, just like you are. Every second you're alive, is one less second until you dies, ipso facto we're all dying. We can't stop dying because then we'd be immortal.

Ya.....Immortality is for after-life. This is why we have religon. You are on this earth to do good things, and that is the test. Make good with your time.....the clock is ticking! Dont waste another minute...for that is another minute lost like all the others.


I dont think about old age and death. It can happen anywhere, if your locked up in a basement your life or live normally...it can come for no reason. I honestly look forward to it. I live a good life, granted, but I dont want to hang around here forever. I want to see whats on the other-side in about 40-50 years. I really do

[General Ludd]

But really, you pretty much described me - the only difference is that I enjoy not being traped in the same social mess that everyone else is, I don't want to have a bunch of loser friends just so I can feel accepted, I don't want to get drunk or high to fit in, I don't want my happiness to depend on other people. And I most deffinately do not want to conform. I like being unique, and not just another face in the crowd, and I like acting as myself, not as how others want me to. (and don't think I'm just another 'non-conformist conformist' )

Granted, this is all typical behaviour from a human so I sometimes have to remind myself.




And yes, life is pretty pointless - and it is deffinately meaningless. We'll all be dead and forgotten in time - even this planet, galaxy, or even universe have the same fate.

[faded glory]

Bravo......Well said Osweld. If I were a loner, you would of cheered me up right then and there :tearsmilie:


As for the forgetting thing. I dont believe that...our actions in someway or another (no matter how significant to you) will alter the futures of others.

Oh and theres that religous thing about the after life I wont mention

[Ted Striker]

6 months of gloomy skies and a city with nothing in it will do that to you Mac. It's not your fault, you're just depressed because there is no sun reaching you and that will destroy most people if exposed to it for a long period of time. October through March is the worst, isn't it?

Get your degree and get the hell out of town to some place where there is either better weather or something to actually do. Until then, your feeling will pass when the sun comes back out.

I am 100% correct in this and no that ain't no joke.

Don't blame yourself for anything, son, it's not your fault.

[Bereta_Eder]

Re: Life, what a sick joke

Originally posted by MacTBone
I'm doing this because of self-pity (why else?) yet, I loathe myself for it. I'll say right now I'm a whiny ***** and you shouldn't listen to me, but here it goes.

That caught my attention!

Steady as she goes...!

Life is a big kick in the balls.

True much of the time.

Stupid ass elementary teachers tell you that if you're nice to everyone, good things happen.

Actually if you're nice to EVERYONE indiscriminately it's a sure fact you'll be screwed over. It's best to be nice to yourself first so that you can be nice to others.

I've never gone on a date. All of my experiences in that dept. have sucked. I've asked girls out, and they politely decline.

There are people who don't even dare asking a girl out. So you're more fit than them. And you're just starting life (nomatter if you're feeling pretty old right now)

Once, I got a girl to go to some russian dancing music thing and she ends up bringing another guy,

It sucks big time doesn't it? It's still not the end of the world though. I have suffered through such a case as well as most of my friends one time or another.

I've liked many ladies and wanted to ask them out and they either have a boyfriend (or fiance) or they make it pretty clear that I can't 'touch the hem of their garment'.

Go ahead and touch it

I've figured out that everything you're told as a child are just ideals which are impractical and false in the real world.

It's called "raising up a good child for the society". It sucks I agree. I am a fellow sufferer

I hate all the pretentiousness in society. If it were up to me, everyone would wear a sign on their heads that printed exactly what we were thinking. No room for confusion and no way to have idiots be respected.

Alas, it is an imperfect world and there's no way around it. If you learn to get along without losing any of your personal ideals it would be a good thing.

I haven't even done any of the crazy stuff most people have. I've had a little champagne at a wedding and I had a coke and rum (which I drank in two hours). Me and some friends (when I had some) threw small pumpkins at mailboxes once (and hit two out of the whole batch).

Most of the people lose their lives because they are waiting to live...

All I want is to go on at least one date, have one true friend, and be able to say, "I've lived."

I get the feeling you have the ability to do that but for some reason which is yours to find out, you don't want to

[Ted Striker]

Good post, Highlander.

I think our friend MacTBone needs to take a roadtrip.

[HisMajestyBOB]

Why oh why does this sound so familiar?

I'm even lower than you in the dating area, so you should feel lucky

[*End Is Forever*]

Jimmy Eat World - My Sundown

I see it around me, I see it in everything.
I could be so much more than this.

I've said my goodbyes, this is my sundown.
I'm gonna be so much more than this.

With one hand high, you'll show them your progress.
You'll take your time, but no-one cares...
No-one cares.

I need you to show me the way from crazy.
I want to be so much more than this.

With one hand high, you'll show them your progress.
You'll take your time, but no-one cares...
No-one cares.

With one hand high, you'll show me your progress.
You'll take your time, but no-one cares...
No-one cares... no-one cares... no-one cares.
I could be so much more than this
No one cares...
I want to be so much more than this
No one cares...
I could be so much more than this
No one cares...
I want to be so much more than this
No one cares...
I want to be so much more than this
No one cares...
I want to be so much more than this...

Good, goodbye... lovely time.
Good, goodbye... tinsel shine.
Good, goodbye... I'll be fine.
Good, goodbye... good, goodnight.

[faded glory]

I dont understand why its so difficult to find dates Maybe cause ive never been on the other-side of the coin and have always had good chemistry with all the women I meet.


But still.....Please explain Mac. What happens? Do you stutter or somthing? Just dont know what to say? Or dont have your own wheels? I want to help you if I can...I really do.

[Ted Striker]

I see our ranks of Apolyton Players is growing.

1) Boddington's
2) Faded Glory
3) Dissident
4) gay_jon
5) GP
6) Alexander's Horse

Though seriously, Mac, why is it do you think you can't get a date? Do you have bad acne or are really big or something else physical like that?