Online Dating

[Asher]

Unfortunately, most of them were not attractive or were not interested in pursuing a relationship with me.

They probably felt the same way about you, then.

[Verres]

Just bear in mind, Sava, that she could be a mad, obsessive ex-girlfriend who is using online dating to fullfill the fantasies she spends hours a day concocting.....she could have created a whole fake persona to lull you into a false sense of security and somehow convince herself the two of you are still together.

Just a possibility, but it could happen.

[The diplomat]

Originally posted by Asher
They probably felt the same way about you, then.

Probably. A lot of my matches closed the match because of "lack of chemistry". The reason does not matter. The fact is that Match.com and Eharmony did not work for me.

[Heresson]

I thought Sava is gay.

[Monk]

Originally posted by Verres
Just bear in mind, Sava, that she could be a mad, obsessive ex-girlfriend who is using online dating to fullfill the fantasies she spends hours a day concocting.....she could have created a whole fake persona to lull you into a false sense of security and somehow convince herself the two of you are still together.

Also Sava, do remember not to board airplanes because you never know if they'll crash -

[Agathon]

Sava,

The biggest problem with men is that they treat women as if they were extraterrestrials.

Witness the paranoia re: "I don't want to make her think I want to sleep with her".

Jesus Christ! The whole point of dating services is to find someone who will sleep with you - that's why women use them.

She knows what you're thinking. That is why she will try to make herself seem attractive.

Of course, most women don't want some pervert who is just interested in sex (damn!), but they are themselves looking for a bedmate so don't go acting like it's just you who is tormented by lust.

Don't go out of your way trying to impress her. This makes you look desperate, which is a major turn-off that women can spot that a mile away.

Generally any form of psychological manipulation you try is going to fail. Women are just better at men at that game, both in doing it and spotting it when it is done to them. A man trying to beat a woman at this game is in no better position than a man trying to beat a woman at a "get pregnant" contest.

In fact the best thing you can do is listen to her and ask questions. The number one thing that women get pissed off about is men not listening to them.

Try to steer questions she asks about you back into things she can talk about regarding herself (don't be too obvious about this). Ask real questions, and if you ask a dumb question by accident say "sorry, that was a dumb question." Make her explain stuff more clearly if you don't get it. If she's boring, then it obviously isn't going to work between you. If she tells you about her problems, resist the male temptation to propose solutions, just sympathize with her and tell her about similar problems you have had. Telling a woman the solutions to her problems just makes it look to her as if you think she's too stupid to have thought of them, and that you enjoy organizing other people's lives.

Don't stare at her breasts. But don't not look at them either. If you stare, you'll look like a weirdo, but if you purposely try not to look, she'll notice and wonder what's wrong with you. Men cannot help but look at women's breasts. Women know this.

Similarly, women can't help but look at guys' butts. The problem is that evolution/God has made men losers at this again. It's easy to check out someone's butt without them seeing, but the placement of boobs makes it next to impossible for the poor guy.

[Brundlefly]

Originally posted by SpencerH
Arrange a lunch meeting in a public place. That way if she's a psycho-stalker you may have a chance to run away.

I did this once. Met a girl online. She sent me her pic. It looked okay but suscpiciously framed as a headshot and slightly out of focus. I figured I'd take a chance and meet her at the mall anyway.

She turned out to be 250lbs. , with a kid, (she never mentioned that), looked nothing like her picture and had a giant tatoo on her left breast which was 50% exposed from a low-cut sweater.

I tried to be polite and have a conversation with her, but her kid was on a sugar high and annoying the hell out of me. So I suggested we walk over to the little playground section of the mall to keep the kid occupied so we could talk. The kid gets there and instantly starts beating the hell out of someone else's kid. At that point I just said "See ya" and left...

[Sava]

Originally posted by Heresson
I thought Sava is gay.

[Heresson]

Hey! By being offended by my insinuation, You've revealed your gay-bashing yourself!

[Provost Harrison]

Re: Online Dating

Originally posted by Sava
The last email she gave me her digits.

She cut her fingers off and sent them to you?

[Provost Harrison]

I will say though, Mrs Tuberski tells it like it is. It's a two way thing and if it is right the conversation will flow. Just talk about common ground that you have already discussed briefly in the past, talk pvssy or whatever If the conversation stalls damn quickly, well, you know it was never going to happen. But women are individuals too remember, hence why men rarely understand them, they are all pretty unique (albeit idiosyncratic ).

Now I know you are all going to come back at me about my 'experience'. But being well on my way to my 28th I do have a bit more savvy than I often get credit for. Just the practice hasn't quite worked out because of nervousness and anxiety, and now plain routine...

[Sava]

well I called her and things went great...

we're meeting for drinks at a local spot around 10pm local time

more updates later.

[Agathon]

Hope she puts out.

[Sava]

well this sucked... we had some drinks, talked a bit (though it was in a bar with some dip****s doing kareoke and I couldnt' hear jack****)... she was very up front with me and said she didn't feel we had any chemistry. i would tend to agree with that assessment. I was too shy... but hey that's how I am.

Maybe I'll try eharmony.com because match.com is stupid

I'm gonna smoke a bowl and try to forget tonight.

[Mrs. Tuberski]

Sorry To hear that you didnt click. S*** happens I guess. I was gonna mention that most women if they feel nothing will most likely tell you up front. Just as I would like if a man felt that way too. so as i didnt waste my time . Whos to say you havent meet a drinking buddie if you are a drinker. Hell she might have some friends that could float your boat.