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The White Chocolate Crisis: Is America's Afro-Centric Culture to Blame?

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  • The White Chocolate Crisis: Is America's Afro-Centric Culture to Blame?

    This summer, in a highly controversial move, Reese's launched a "White Chocolate" Reeses' Peanut Buttercup, finally breaking the candy industry's long silence on white-colored treats, the result of a self-imposed ban that has been in effect since the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

    Many commentators have lamented the loss of white chocolate from America's confectionary landscape. But most civil right activists point to the candy's notorious past as the reason for it's taboo nature, being the preferred treat of notorious racists such as KKK founder Nathan Bedford Forrest, former Alabama governor George Wallace, and even Adolph Hitler. The candy is famous for it's role in the ground-breaking 1917 film, "The Birth of a Nation". In one scene a cavalcade of mounted KKK members are portrayed as heroically stopping a crazed african-american man from raping a young white woman, at the end of the scene we see a KKK member lift his hood and begin chewing on on a stick of white chocolate with the next frame displaying the words "I Don't Eat (N-Word) Candy!"

    Needless to say, many civil rights activists have bitterly protested Reeses' re-introduction of this notorious treat, with the NAACP issuing a flat boycott of all Reeses' candies. However, some young people, including many African-Americans, believe that the candy should be taken at face-value as nothing more than a delicious dessert, and all racial implications should be dismissed.

    Yet, still other's feel that the total dearth of white chocolate on America's store shelves is the result of cultural paradigm shift from a Euro-Centric culture to an Afro-Centric culture. In an era where America's young people idolize rap stars such as "Snoop Doggy Dogg", and "2Pac Shaker", and where young school children routinely discuss "Hanging out with the Homies ", it is easy to see where such conclusions could be drawn.

    Regardless of where the truth lies, with both sides are digging in, it is clear that the battle over white chocolate is not one that will be decieded over night.
    http://monkspider.blogspot.com/

  • #2
    It tastes like crap.

    ACK!
    Don't try to confuse the issue with half-truths and gorilla dust!

    Comment


    • #3
      monkspider that is crazy!!!
      We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution. - Abraham Lincoln

      Comment


      • #4
        Nam by vashy problemy
        Originally posted by Serb:Please, remind me, how exactly and when exactly, Russia bullied its neighbors?
        Originally posted by Ted Striker:Go Serb !
        Originally posted by Pekka:If it was possible to capture the essentials of Sepultura in a dildo, I'd attach it to a bicycle and ride it up your azzes.

        Comment


        • #5
          It's well known White Cholocate is superior to the other Chocolates.
          "I'm moving to the Left" - Lancer

          "I imagine the neighbors on your right are estatic." - Slowwhand

          Comment


          • #6
            OH NO!!! ADOLPH HITLER BREATHED OXYGEN!!! SO DID DAVID DUKE!!! THEY DRANK WATER TOO!!! Heaven help us, we mustn't enjoy anything they did! Oh God, they ate candies too!? We must never have confectionary treats or else the entire Civil Rights movement was a failure and everyone who suffered and/or died did so in vain!!!

            Jesus H. Christ what a stupid thing for the NAACP to get worked up over. What, has the country become truly color-blind and achieved racial equality in the last few years ... and no one told me? Is this really something they need to be wasting resources on?
            The cake is NOT a lie. It's so delicious and moist.

            The Weighted Companion Cube is cheating on you, that slut.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by DRoseDARs
              OH NO!!! ADOLPH HITLER BREATHED OXYGEN!!! SO DID DAVID DUKE!!! THEY DRANK WATER TOO!!! Heaven help us, we mustn't enjoy anything they did! Oh God, they ate candies too!? We must never have confectionary treats or else the entire Civil Rights movement was a failure and everyone who suffered and/or died did so in vain!!!

              Jesus H. Christ what a stupid thing for the NAACP to get worked up over. What, has the country become truly color-blind and achieved racial equality in the last few years ... and no one told me? Is this really something they need to be wasting resources on?
              /me points and laughs at DRoseDARs.

              Everyone point and laugh at DRoseDARs.
              Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

              Comment


              • #8
                psst: you realise he's kidding, right?
                12-17-10 Mohamed Bouazizi NEVER FORGET
                Stadtluft Macht Frei
                Killing it is the new killing it
                Ultima Ratio Regum

                Comment


                • #9
                  All right, I'll just join in the mockery.
                  12-17-10 Mohamed Bouazizi NEVER FORGET
                  Stadtluft Macht Frei
                  Killing it is the new killing it
                  Ultima Ratio Regum

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Shi Huangdi
                    It's well known White Cholocate is superior to the other Chocolates.
                    NOT when combined with peanut butter.
                    No, I did not steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Oh, and
                      No, I did not steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by chegitz guevara


                        * chegitz guevara points and laughs at DRoseDARs.

                        Everyone point and laugh at DRoseDARs.
                        It's candy. Surely there are more important things the NAACP could be boycotting. If the candy were shaped like a burning cross or a black man made of regular chocolate being dragged behind a truck made of white chocolate I could understand the outrage and would share it, but these are Reese's Peanutbutter Cups made with white chocolate. The pure, unadulterated horror of it is almost too much to bare...
                        The cake is NOT a lie. It's so delicious and moist.

                        The Weighted Companion Cube is cheating on you, that slut.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          12-17-10 Mohamed Bouazizi NEVER FORGET
                          Stadtluft Macht Frei
                          Killing it is the new killing it
                          Ultima Ratio Regum

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            "Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way. "
                            -Bokonon

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Have you tried them?

                              "pure, unadulterated horror" isn't that far off the mark.
                              No, I did not steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

                              Comment

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