Best ways to scare the **** out of your daughter's waiting date(s)

[molly bloom]

When your daughter introduces her beau, in the words of the song,

'walk right up, and give him a great big kiss, mwah!'

preferably tongues.

A sure icebreaker at parties too.

[Gatekeeper]

Re: Best ways to scare the **** out of your daughter's waiting date(s)

Originally posted by Zylka
3 - If it's simply a girl "friend" and she's dressed up to frequent the local rave with your young Vanessa - grab her neck hanging pacifier and firmly manhandle it like a misbehaved clitoris. This is the minimum to ensure she won't have your baby huffing roofies to unconsciousness before raping her in a Godless lesbian orgy on a skanky warehouse floor.

Wow. I never knew raves could get so, um, personal.

[self biased]

one girl's stepfather only glanced up for a second from his newspaper. the moment of eye contact was frightening. in it... oh damn... what was that machine in the hitchiker's guide that showed you in relation to the universe? it was like that. only i didn't come out like zaphod did.

[Theben]

Invite her 3 larger, scarier brothers over to greet him at the door.

[Whaleboy]

You people are scary and an impediment to my sex life

[Elok]

It was in the restaurant at the end of the universe, as I recall.

Anyway, my brother already has an impressive collection of oriental and western weapons-two sais, a nunchaku, lots of knives, a sword, and one of those double-bladed swords. My niece is only two and a half now, but when the time comes for her to start dating he's going to hang them all up in the front hall, right across from the door. I'm thinking I should get him a kukri to round it out. I love my niece.

[Inverse Icarus]

my uncle did that to one of his daughters "gentlemen callers". he went to shake his hand, and he got a "dead fish" from the boy, so he squeezes as hard as he can and says "SHAKE LIKE A MAN, *****!"

god bless uncle timmy.

[chequita guevara]

Originally posted by Theben
Invite her 3 larger, scarier brothers over to greet him at the door.

That was fun, wasn't it.

[self biased]

Originally posted by Uber KruX
"SHAKE LIKE A MAN, *****!"

that method's been tried on me. thankfully, i've got a firm handshake.

[Sprayber]

Originally posted by Whaleboy
You people are scary and an impediment to my sex life

That's the whole point