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Funniest break up line I have ever heard.

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  • #16
    Re: Funniest break up line I have ever heard.

    Originally posted by Blisterz
    Sorry, but I had to share this really funny quote with you guys. I had a pretty nasty breakup with my partner a few days ago. We were arguing about it on my door step today, I was halfway between screaming and crying when they said the funniest thing I had ever heard. I went from crying to laughing out loud.


    "What do you mean how can I be this upset? You had sex with
    another man on our Anniversary!" "I'm sorry, I didn't know
    it was our anniversary" - Jaime Grey 14/01/04


    Sorry. but I had to share that. if anyone else has any funny breaking up lines, I would love to hear them.

    man, that sucks. Im sorry, but i was more upset by that than entertained. What did you do to the guy?
    "I bet Ikarus eats his own spunk..."
    - BLACKENED from America's Army: Operations
    Kramerman - Creator and Author of The Epic Tale of Navalon in the Civ III Stories Forum

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    • #17
      That couple must have been gay...no straight man would ever remember an anniversary
      Speaking of Erith:

      "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

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      • #18
        Can we talk about bad first date experiences??
        I heard one about this guy who was on a first date with another guy, and guy1 asked guy2 if he saw another date in the future, and guy2 thought he was a freak for asking that! Isn't that strange?

        "Chegitz, still angry about the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991?
        You provide no source. You PROVIDE NOTHING! And yet you want to destroy capitalism.. you criminal..." - Fez

        "I was hoping for a Communist utopia that would last forever." - Imran Siddiqui

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        • #19
          What do lesbians bring to the second date?

          A. - A U-Haul.

          What do gay men bring to the second date?

          A. - What second date?
          Tutto nel mondo è burla

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          • #20
            [QUOTE] Originally posted by MrFun
            Can we talk about bad first date experiences??


            I have a bad first date line for ya.


            "Dear God man, What the hell do you want me to do with that thing!? put it on my shoulder and burp it? "

            and later on in the night after a little accident (some of you wont understand)

            "**** man, sorry, I am going to have to wear I diaper for a week"
            Last edited by Blisterz; January 17, 2004, 00:49.
            " Conceit, arrogance, and egotism are the essentials of patriotism." - Emma Goldman

            William Seward Burroughs
            February 5, 1914 - August 2, 1997 R.I.P. Uncle Bill, you are missed.

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            • #21
              Re: Re: Funniest break up line I have ever heard.

              Originally posted by Kramerman



              man, that sucks. Im sorry, but i was more upset by that than entertained. What did you do to the guy?

              How can you not find that funny? He was dumb enough to think I as upset about the anniversary.

              This part is not funny he messaged me from his house telling me he was too drunk to come pick me up tonight, so he would see me tomorrow. So I wanted to surprise him. I walked almost two hours to get to the house, and and I get closer I hear moaning from half way across the lawn. I went to the window and could barely see anything, enough to know what was going on, I am not the kind of guy to throw a fit and make a big scene I was crushed. I started to walk home, I got almost and hour home and I guess being in shock and not wanting to believe that anything was happening, and that maybe that was other people in there (alot of people use his house as their second home) So I walked all the way back,. this time I went to the window on the other side of the room, this Time I saw everything. Now seeing another guys balls on your partners chin on your anniversary puts a wee damper on the occasion. I left a note on the window that said " I see you" with a pair of eyes".

              He showed up here late the next day, drunk out of his tree, begging for me to let him in, and that is when he said it.

              I know two One is a girl and one is a guy, and they both havre a habit of 'being on a "diet" and still ordering from menu.' if you get my drift
              Last edited by Blisterz; January 17, 2004, 19:44.
              " Conceit, arrogance, and egotism are the essentials of patriotism." - Emma Goldman

              William Seward Burroughs
              February 5, 1914 - August 2, 1997 R.I.P. Uncle Bill, you are missed.

              Comment

              • #22
                Not a break-up line, but a turned-down line that I got hit with:

                "You're so charming, but in a completely asexual way."
                "My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
                "The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund Freud

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Tiamat
                  After a particularly nasty break up some years ago we were arguing in the car and had decided to call it quits and I was asked "don't I even get a good bye fuc* for old times sake........to which I responded as I got out of the car ( in the process of slamming the door).....sure honey......GOOD BYE FUC*!!!"
                  I thought you were more of a hello fuc*.

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                  • #24
                    Oooooh, bad first date experiences? I've got one.

                    The first date I ever had. My first timid step into the world of dating, dining, romancing, etc. Was with this bi-guy a friend had introduced me to. Never. Ever. Ever. Date a bisexual. Unless they are certain about their sexuality. In fact, just don't deal romantically/sexually with bisexuals at all. Stick to purebred homosexuals. Why? Well, a week after this date, the mutual friend tells me "yeah, he said it was interesting but he's gonna stick to dating women for now."
                    Exult in your existence, because that very process has blundered unwittingly on its own negation. Only a small, local negation, to be sure: only one species, and only a minority of that species; but there lies hope. [...] Stand tall, Bipedal Ape. The shark may outswim you, the cheetah outrun you, the swift outfly you, the capuchin outclimb you, the elephant outpower you, the redwood outlast you. But you have the biggest gifts of all: the gift of understanding the ruthlessly cruel process that gave us all existence [and the] gift of revulsion against its implications.
                    -Richard Dawkins

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Starchild
                      Well, a week after this date, the mutual friend tells me "yeah, he said it was interesting but he's gonna stick to dating women for now."
                      OUCH
                      A lot of Republicans are not racist, but a lot of racists are Republican.

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                      • #26
                        "I cant go out wit joo no more cause you too ugly"

                        True story. I was there when he said it. Man, my first year of college in that suite..... crazy.
                        :-p

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by MrFun


                          OUCH
                          And people wonder why I'm cynical.
                          Exult in your existence, because that very process has blundered unwittingly on its own negation. Only a small, local negation, to be sure: only one species, and only a minority of that species; but there lies hope. [...] Stand tall, Bipedal Ape. The shark may outswim you, the cheetah outrun you, the swift outfly you, the capuchin outclimb you, the elephant outpower you, the redwood outlast you. But you have the biggest gifts of all: the gift of understanding the ruthlessly cruel process that gave us all existence [and the] gift of revulsion against its implications.
                          -Richard Dawkins

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                          • #28
                            Oh, but wait StarChilid -- it's politically incorrect to not want to date bisexuals, remember??
                            A lot of Republicans are not racist, but a lot of racists are Republican.

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                            • #29
                              Smookie, when it comes to my love life, political correctness can immolate itself in the uncaring fires of my cold, rocky chunk of ice I call a heart.
                              Exult in your existence, because that very process has blundered unwittingly on its own negation. Only a small, local negation, to be sure: only one species, and only a minority of that species; but there lies hope. [...] Stand tall, Bipedal Ape. The shark may outswim you, the cheetah outrun you, the swift outfly you, the capuchin outclimb you, the elephant outpower you, the redwood outlast you. But you have the biggest gifts of all: the gift of understanding the ruthlessly cruel process that gave us all existence [and the] gift of revulsion against its implications.
                              -Richard Dawkins

                              Comment

                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Starchild
                                Smookie, when it comes to my love life, political correctness can immolate itself in the uncaring fires of my cold, rocky chunk of ice I call a heart.


                                My sentiments exactly.
                                A lot of Republicans are not racist, but a lot of racists are Republican.

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