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My avatar, a GENUINE UFO, is for sale. Its top speed is 186,000km/s (almost the speed of light!) and can go from 0-60,000km/s in only 4 seconds. It has comfortable seating (for the aliens at least) for 8 aliens, and for the environment-conscious consumer, it has a fuel economy of 
25,000,000km/gallon (of blood). It has all the safety features--front airbags, side airbags, ass airbags, seatbelts, and a durable frame that gives it the government's highest crash test rating, which is not a number or a quick statement but rather in the form of a threat that if "I don't give this over to Area 51 they'll blow [my buttocks] clear to the moon."
The engine is a special Martian crystal that generates enough power to equal a thermonuclear weapon, but don't worry, the chance of deadly Earth-vaporizing explosion on ignition is only 1/100,000. And finally, all this can be yours for the starting auction price of $1,000,000.
* Dealer is not responsible for any damage to the universe that occurs when the driver approaches the speed of light.
* Dealer does not recommend human use of ass airbags.
* Dealer is not responsible for damages caused to the solar system when the engine-crystal explodes and unleashes the power of 100 thousand thousand suns onto the vehicle, its occupants, and anything in a 93 million mile area.
* A variety of extra options are available, including an entertainment system and a special safety concrete shield in which to put the engine-crystal. Contact your local dealer for more details.
25,000,000km/gallon (of blood). It has all the safety features--front airbags, side airbags, ass airbags, seatbelts, and a durable frame that gives it the government's highest crash test rating, which is not a number or a quick statement but rather in the form of a threat that if "I don't give this over to Area 51 they'll blow [my buttocks] clear to the moon." The engine is a special Martian crystal that generates enough power to equal a thermonuclear weapon, but don't worry, the chance of deadly Earth-vaporizing explosion on ignition is only 1/100,000. And finally, all this can be yours for the starting auction price of $1,000,000.
* Dealer is not responsible for any damage to the universe that occurs when the driver approaches the speed of light.
* Dealer does not recommend human use of ass airbags.
* Dealer is not responsible for damages caused to the solar system when the engine-crystal explodes and unleashes the power of 100 thousand thousand suns onto the vehicle, its occupants, and anything in a 93 million mile area.
* A variety of extra options are available, including an entertainment system and a special safety concrete shield in which to put the engine-crystal. Contact your local dealer for more details.
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