One Would Think I Would Know Better, But Noooo

[boann]

do you have to choose between them so soon.
my thoughts would be
relax and date them both for a while.
see if the 18 yr old moves to your town to go to school.

the 25 yr old with kids will be more settled but
what everyone says about step kids is true.
its the hardest thing you will ever do.
and then when you both have one of your own.
that will change the whole pot around again.
and you have to wonder if she even wants more
kids with having already two.
do you want a child of your own... better ask her
what she thinks about more kids.
and also what someone said about child rearing
that is critical.... doesn't seem like much now.
but its a very important issue.
how will you deal with her wanting to raise them different than you feel children should be raised
and then finding that your hands are tied.
that all the decisions will be made by her and the ex
and yet you have to live with them most of the time.

the 18 yr old may be young now but time will pass..
one thing to consider is that she understands death.
untill you have lost someone you love ... you don't understand someone elses lose.... your empathy with her is rare... i think that is a very important part of
what is between you.
the other thing is when you have children they will be
yours.
i do know you're the kind of man that could love anothers children as your own. a rare quality these days. so i don't see that as a problem .
but you do have to consider this as high priority.

[Lancer]

Go w/ the 18 year old if she's a looker.

There, I have spoken.

Who knows? You don't know and you've been with them.

You know what having kids do to a woman, right?

There, I've spoken too much.

[Sprayber]

There are lots to think about. The 18 yo is comming up in a couple of weeks to see me. I hate indecision.

[Kuciwalker]

Take both

[Tiamat]

As usualy boann is right. And speaking as a veteran of the dating someone younger wars as I am.....take a word or warning. 95% of the time it never works out. Inevitably the age difference be it music, books, life etc....will begin to get in the way and you will find yourself thiking about how nice it would be to be with someone more mature, more your age even if she is mature for her age. Believe me I speak from experience.

[Sprayber]

Ironically both have been torn from their previous relationships by either death or divorce. I don't see in either of them, the possibility that I will just be a rebound guy. But I am aware that things need time to develop. On the positive side I am already very good friends with both.

On the selfish side, I'm just glad my decent into cynicism has been checked. For the first time in years I'm my old self again.

[monolith94]

I'd go with the twentyfive year old.

Eleven years is just such a big difference. It's hard to get over that. It reminds me of Woody Allen in Manhattan, and that was quite creepy.

[chequita guevara]

Why not simply take your time and find out which one you'd rather be with?

[Vince278]

How does each one feel about you?

[chequita guevara]

Which one gives you blow jobs on command? She's the keeper.

[Tiamat]

ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHhhh Leave it to a guy to make his head the deciding factor.

Which one makes you get butterflies in your stomach......that's the one for you.

[chequita guevara]

Yuo think we don't get butterflies in our stomachs from blow jobs?

[Sprayber]

Originally posted by Vince278
How does each one feel about you?

The married one, wants to take it slow but has now mentioned to me about meeting family. Not now of course, but she has adjusted her schedule slightly to talk more with me. I was sick the other day and she dropped by with some cold medicine for me. Having someone actually care that I was sick was something new for me. (other than good ole mom of course )

The younger one feels a strong bond with our shared experience of having lost someone. She refers to me as a friend still but wondered tonight what we would be like as a couple. She will be in town in a couple of weeks to see me. She also asked me if her age would keep me from looking at her as someone I would consider being with. She seems to like that im as old as I am.

I hope im not comming across as bragging cause its not the case. My main concern is not to destroy either friendship or hurt them. I know what it's like from past experience and I dont wish to repeat. And for the ones that say take physical appearence into consideration, thats difficult too. They both have different body styles but are very attractive in their own right. Only thing they have in common in fact is that they are both blonde.

[Tiamat]

Originally posted by chegitz guevara
Yuo think we don't get butterflies in our stomachs from blow jobs?

No.....I was refering to the feeling that hopefully we've all had. When you meet someone and you both click and for lack of a better way to put it when you see them you get butterflies in your stomach.

I would certainly hope you don't get butterflies while getting head You might have some 'splaining to do.

[Vince278]

They both sound good. The first one is used to being in a mature relationship (since she is good at taking care of people) and the second desires a mature relationship (since she likes someone your age).
This is still a tough call. People naturally drift apart when one or the other is away. Stick with the one who continues to stand by you as time goes by.