Describe your gaudily-adorned kindling display. 
My mom chose a stinker this year. Broken branch tips EVERYWHERE; ornament holes few and far between; hardly emits any smell. Damned difficult to hang any ornaments on this stupid thing 'cause I can't find anywhere to put them.
The tree has been up and partially decorated for about 2 weeks, but she asked me to put some more crap on it. God, this is like that recent Doonesbury comic with the tree stating, "I feel totally slutty." Great, mine looks like a cheap crackwhore instead of a high-priced escort.

My mom chose a stinker this year. Broken branch tips EVERYWHERE; ornament holes few and far between; hardly emits any smell. Damned difficult to hang any ornaments on this stupid thing 'cause I can't find anywhere to put them.
The tree has been up and partially decorated for about 2 weeks, but she asked me to put some more crap on it. God, this is like that recent Doonesbury comic with the tree stating, "I feel totally slutty." Great, mine looks like a cheap crackwhore instead of a high-priced escort.

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