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Everything would have been fine if you just had let me yiff the otter

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  • Everything would have been fine if you just had let me yiff the otter

    Now, connorkimbro probably thinks this is more evidence of me being a closet furry or something equally ridiculous, but dammit, FURRIES ARE THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING. ( I love that phrase. it is the phrase that keeps on g... nevermind.)

    In any case, this is a bit longish, but well worth the read. It's like a plunge to the heart of darkness. Text only, no piccies, and nothing really perverted (apart from the regular background perversity of everything furries are involved in and 50+ uses of the word 'yiff'.) But a plenty of beautiful insanity.

    "Spirit merges with matter to sanctify the universe. Matter transcends to return to spirit. The interchangeability of matter and spirit means the starlit magic of the outermost life of our universe becomes the soul-light magic of the innermost life of our self." - Dennis Kucinich, candidate for the U. S. presidency
    "That’s the future of the Democratic Party: providing Republicans with a number of cute (but not that bright) comfort women." - Adam Yoshida, Canada's gift to the world

  • #2
    He travels from con to con and house to house looking for sexual entertainment. Guard yourself against him. You have been warned.



    Is that Zylka?!


    Spec.
    -Never argue with an idiot; He will bring you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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    • #3
      Well, is Zylka an insane gay furry?
      "Spirit merges with matter to sanctify the universe. Matter transcends to return to spirit. The interchangeability of matter and spirit means the starlit magic of the outermost life of our universe becomes the soul-light magic of the innermost life of our self." - Dennis Kucinich, candidate for the U. S. presidency
      "That’s the future of the Democratic Party: providing Republicans with a number of cute (but not that bright) comfort women." - Adam Yoshida, Canada's gift to the world

      Comment


      • #4
        Sure

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        • #5
          The words

          This all was becoming very strange to say the least.
          are about ten paragraphs too late in the story...

          Btw, don't miss the front page, it's dedicated to this Nekobe character.

          The whole text was pretty disturbing though, I mean, you have these furrys, and then you have this ultra super crazy furry. Puts things into perspective in a sick, twisted way.
          Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all!

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          • #6
            They're all ultra super crazy furries. I mean, THEY'RE FURRIES!

            Consider the other furries of the story in the page I linked to. First they accept a guy to come live with them based solely on meeting him on IRC and knowing nothing else than his penchant for deviant sex. Then, only after:

            1. The guy rants about conspiracies like a crazy man
            2. The guy demands sex before going to sleep
            3. The guy brags about 'nuking' people on IRC
            4. The guy insistently tries to hit on 'The Otter' after being told many many times not to
            5. The guy runs around the house screaming like a crazy man
            6. The guy stays up all night spying on them
            7. The guy pretty much tries to rape 'The Otter'

            is he thrown out. And they don't call the police, no. They give him money.

            HOORAY FOR FANDOM
            "Spirit merges with matter to sanctify the universe. Matter transcends to return to spirit. The interchangeability of matter and spirit means the starlit magic of the outermost life of our universe becomes the soul-light magic of the innermost life of our self." - Dennis Kucinich, candidate for the U. S. presidency
            "That’s the future of the Democratic Party: providing Republicans with a number of cute (but not that bright) comfort women." - Adam Yoshida, Canada's gift to the world

            Comment


            • #7
              Have to agree with you on that. I'd have called it off already on the freeway, what with him driving like, err, an ultra super extra crazy furry.
              Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all!

              Comment


              • #8
                Maybe you folks can get a special fun happy room to read about and relay disgust for furries during your spare time. What a fun topic. It's called "reading the headline and moving on to something interesting"

                Comment


                • #9
                  From the glimpses to their IRL sexuality in the document, the two hosting furries seem to live a normal gay sexuality. They may fantasize on furs, but they seem to have understood they won't find anthropomorphic animals to boink for real anytime soon
                  "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
                  "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
                  "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

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                  • #10
                    Stupid people letting complete strangers into their home.

                    And what exactly does yiff mean?
                    Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Spiffor
                      From the glimpses to their IRL sexuality in the document, the two hosting furries seem to live a normal gay sexuality. They may fantasize on furs, but they seem to have understood they won't find anthropomorphic animals to boink for real anytime soon
                      My thoughts exactly. They may have been a little naive and soft, but scarcely qualify as weirdo material. If it weren't for the dialect, this could have been a pretty generic incident.
                      The genesis of the "evil Finn" concept- Evil, evil Finland

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                      • #12
                        I think the entire sorry saga would have been neatly resolved by day 3 at the latest if any one of the three victims had done the sensible thing and just given him a good, firm slap.
                        The genesis of the "evil Finn" concept- Evil, evil Finland

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by chegitz guevara
                          And what exactly does yiff mean?
                          It is the fur jargon for "have sex with". It shows the furry attitude toward sex: playful and light-hearted.
                          "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
                          "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
                          "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

                          Comment

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