Rhinos Don't Stop Short Twice, or, Lifes Little Lessons...

[Lancer]

When your wife asks if the dress looks good on her, say yes. Don't say 'it would have 5 pounds ago'. Believe me on this, k?

If you're with a pretty girl, but a real beauty walks in and the pretty one catches you bug eyed drooling and she asks, "honestly, is she better looking than me?" Don't be honest.

Next...

[Dinner]

Silly rabbit. You're just now learning to tell women what they want to hear instead of the truth?

[chequita guevara]

I've learned that brutal honesty is the best policy. Sure, I caught hell for it in the beginning, but now I don't get asked those stupid questions.

[Japher]

When she asks "Honey, can you do me a favor?" Make sure to respond with "What do you want" and not with "Yes"... They all have sneaky little plans to ask you to do something really big as a "favor", but if you don't want to do something really big they will down grade the "favor" into something smaller... If not, at least you have an out.

If they ask "can you the dishes/floors/whatever"... "No" is not an answer.

When they spend more than 15 minutes "getting ready" you are required to comment on how "nice they look" even if they look awful.

(are these just suppose to be about SOs or can it be about anything?)

[Lancer]

Oerdin, I thought the Rhino bit was clever...a little credit, huh? eh?

Che, you don't get any, right? Besides, all those hot little commie chicks are lesbians anyway.

"When they spend more than 15 minutes "getting ready" you are required to comment on how "nice they look" even if they look awful."- Brilliant Japher! True wisdom...

[Dinner]

Ok, the Rhino bit was cute.

[Q Classic]

i don't know where you find girls like that. mine doesn't put me in the situation of asking "does me look fat?" or any of the classic dangerous ones.

although, when she's upset, nothing i do is right:
"can i do anything to make you feel better?"
"can you (asks something impossibly out of my control)"
"well, i can try..."
"what good are you?"

[Az]

"When they spend more than 15 minutes "getting ready" you are required to comment on how "nice they look" even if they look awful."- Brilliant Japher! True wisdom...

"Too much makeup" always worked for me. That is, if by "working" you mean ruining the evening.

[Lancer]

"Ok, the Rhino bit was cute. "

I was thinking of doing 'Heterosexual Rhinos don't stop short", but didn't have the guts.

Q Cubed, they have their moments don't they? Reason goes out the window and they give themselves up to contrary emotionalism. Coming down off such an episode, an old gf once told me, "we women have such problems", feeling sorry for herself. I stupidly replied, "yes, and we men have such women." Add that to my lifes little lessons...

[Dinner]

Originally posted by Q Cubed
although, when she's upset, nothing i do is right:
"can i do anything to make you feel better?"
"can you (asks something impossibly out of my control)"
"well, i can try..."
"what good are you?"

I've been in similar situations where you just know that no matter what you say it will be the wrong thing. It doesn't matter if you say "Lovely weather we're having" she'll still find a way to criticize.

[Lancer]

Azazel, you're not talking Tammy Fay sort of excess, are you? When that woman is done painting, she's a freak, barely human. Uggg. Though when she asked Jim Baker how she looked, I bet "like a freak" wasn't the answer.

[Az]

"Too much makeup" is what you should say when a particular female keeps you waiting for too long.

( Maybe that's why I don't have too many girls. Nah, I think the fact that I am butt-ugly has more to do with it. )

[Lancer]

"Nah, I think the fact that I am butt-ugly has more to do with it. "

Nothing to do with it, just ask Bill Gates.

[Az]

Oh, thanks.

[Q Classic]

Q Cubed, they have their moments don't they? Reason goes out the window and they give themselves up to contrary emotionalism.

yeah, you love 'em, but you'll never understand why exactly they're so psychotic.