The 2003 "Scapies"

[Elok]

"We must hang together, gentleman, or we shall most assuredly all hang separately."

Ben Franklin said that. I look around Apolyton recently, and I notice that a number of us are blaming major societal failures on groups with limited power. Some of us blame the G.O.P., others "liberals," still others the K.K.K. Still others make an empty gesture and blame "society" in general. I am of the opinion that this is frankly unacceptable.

We live in a fast-moving world. We don't have time to bicker endlessly over which special interests are secretly acting towards the downfall of human civilization. I think we all know that only one of these groups really has the influence to crush our lives under its fist like the insignificant gnats we are. We need to come to a consensus here. To that end, I'm forming the possibly annual Scapegoat Awards, depending on how quickly the mods shoot this down as a troll, which it isn't. It's more of a joke.

Global warming, the drug traffic, the continued existence of slavery, our continued inability to fly to the moon by flapping our arms-it's all somebody's fault. Make your voice heard today!

[laurentius]

Theres no Bush-option!? What is this?

[BeBMan]

It´s the OTHER`S fault! Alwaaaaays!!!

[Elok]

Consider him a subsection of "conservative" for the purposes of this poll. I know there's some argument over whether Dubya's truly "conservative," but we're looking for a unified sense of finger-pointing here, not an intelligent debate, so it doesn't matter.

There's a 24-option limit, so I had to narrow it down to major contenders, of which there are many. I'd like it if I could have subcategories like the Emmies-"most malevolent political power," "most dangerous minority," etc., but I'm limited by technology here.

[GhengisFarb™]

You missed the most often used and TRUE source of EVERYTHING wrong in the world.

Everything bad in human civilization can be traced back to an act of Congress...................

[Urban Ranger]

It's Skanky's fault, dammit!

[DaShi]

Oh, here comes the Fat Cat bashing.

[Skanky Burns]

And here I was hoping to escape these awards.

[duke o' york]

Come on people. Vote "Other" for Skanky! The candidate of choice. The thinking woman's scapegoat.

Join the Burns Unit. Skank along with us!


Come to the Skanky rally.
Bring a friend, bring your partner, but don't forget to bring something you can blame on Skanky!

[DanS]

What about M$?

[Dinner]

BLAME CANADA!

[Timexwatch]

You forgot "The Faaaaabulous Pink Mafia"

[Elok]

I'm afraid Canada is too implausibly weak even for a scapegoat. Any country that likes curling is intrinsically too weak to shape the flow of world events. An actual goat might be believable; they can ram things and eat cans. All Canada can do is threaten to raise the price of maple syrup and beaver fur. They went out of business as a world power with the rise of Hungry Jack and PETA.

But you're right that Microsoft should have been on there. I was trying to cover a wide range of frequent blametakers, but I think I overemphasized conservative phobias. Sorry, guys.

[DAVOUT]

The mods also have a huge responsibility on the poor state of the world since they prevent consistently enlightened people to express long awaited brilliant solutions.

[SlowwHand]

This is a retarded question.
All isn't because of one.