The difference between the Democrats and Republicans? (if there is)

[Japher]

Democrats will argue for hours about which is better for the economy and should therefore be the official soft drink for the Democratic Caucus; Coke or Pepsi.

Republicans will argue for hours about which better for the economy and should therefore be the official soft drink for the Republican Caucus; Coke or Pepsi... Then argue for another hour over whose buying.

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Democrats are white, urbanite, snobs who pretend to be poor when they are really rich.

Republicans are white, urbanite, snobs who pretend to be rich when they are really poor, but actually hiding all their money in off shore accounts to avoid tax implications and possible litigation.

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Republicans elect representatives that would make for better halloween masks.

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Republicans shoot first ask questions later.

Democrats don't shoot and don't ask questions.

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[MrFun]

Originally posted by Q Cubed
oh, the was just to cushion the blow, you heathen commie pepsi-lover.

Me, a commie . . .


what will Apolytoners think of next?

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Rufus T. Firefly


Feel free, but it's not an opinion -- it's a fact: The Coca Cola corporation is a major Democratic party donor, while Pepsi Cola is a major Republican party donor. That's the reason why Pepsi was the only American soft drink in the USSR once we signed the trade agreements under Nixon, while Coke was the only American soft drink sold in China a few years later, under trade agreements signed by Carter.

** MrFun is shocked into speechlessness with this life-altering factoid **

[Theben]

Originally posted by Q Cubed
oh, the was just to cushion the blow, you heathen commie pepsi-lover.

I'm offended that you'd associate that pagan devil-worshipping pepsi loving-freak with communism.

[Q Classic]

i meant to write commie-nazi, just like the ones that wolf guy fights.

pepsi-lovers == pure unadulterated evil. they're even worse than michael moore is to the conservatives, or ann coulter to the liberals.

[Imran Siddiqui]

"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it."
- P.J. O'Rourke

[Theben]

Originally posted by Q Cubed
pepsi-lovers == pure unadulterated evil. they're even worse than michael moore is to the conservatives, or ann coulter to the liberals.

Now THAT is just pure, unadulterated trolling.

[Imran Siddiqui]

And that makes it good .

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui
"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it."
- P.J. O'Rourke

[rah]

For the upcoming holidays.

Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus...
Democrats became Democrats because they never stopped believing in Santa Claus...

Republican say "Merry Christmas!"
Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"

When not in stores, Republicans use a catalog.
Democrats watch for "incredible tv offers" on late night television.

Democrats do a lot of their shopping at Cost-Co and WalMart.
So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.

Democrats give their children gifts that make a political statement.
Republicans give their children gifts that will keep them out of their hair.

Republican parents have no problem buying their kids toy guns.
Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.

Democrats favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street."
Republicans favorite Christmas movie is "It's a Wonderful Life."
Right-Wing Republicans favorite Christmas movie is "Diehard".

Republicans wear wide red ties and green sport jackets during the festive season.
Democrats do too, all year round.

Democrats favorite Christmas song is "Deck the Halls".
Young Democrats favorite Christmas song is "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."
Republicans favorite Christmas song is " White Christmas."
Young Republicans favorite Christmas song is "White Christmas."

Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree.
Tightfisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before Christmas when the lots lower their prices.

Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play "Cowboys and Indians."
Democrats don't either, as long as the Indians get to win.

Democratic men like to watch football while their wives, girlfriends or mothers fix holiday meals.
On this, Republicans are in full agreement.

[MrFun]

rah . . .

[rah]

Late night checks in............

They're saying Arnold will get 95% of the vote. At least according to his
brother, Jeb Schwarzenegger."
--Craig Kilborn

"The White House released a videotape of President Bush meeting with his
cabinet, and today Iraqi officials say they believe the tape is authentic."
--Jay Leno

"Here's how bad California looks to the rest of the country. People in
Florida are laughing at us."
-- Jay Leno

"President Bush is supporting Arnold. But a lot of Republicans are not
because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rowe says if his father wasn't a
Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all."
--Bill Maher

"President Bush held his first full press conference in over five months
this week. He announced that the war on terrorism is continuing, much, much
more work needs to be done on the economy, and Saddam Hussein has not yet
been captured. And then he said, 'I'm going on vacation for a month.'"
--Jay Leno

[Imran Siddiqui]

Where is the Letterman quotes... equal time

[rah]

They sucked but since you insist.

"President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't
pronounce Schwarzenegger."
-- David Letterman

"The White House says that the vacation in Texas will give President Bush
the chance to unwind. My question is, when does the guy wind?"
--David Letterman

"President Bush is on a 35-day vacation, and before he left he had his
annual physical, and it turns out his cholesterol now is lower than his
approval rating."
--David Letterman

[Imran Siddiqui]

"President Bush is on a 35-day vacation, and before he left he had his annual physical, and it turns out his cholesterol now is lower than his approval rating."

Thanks .