The difference between the Democrats and Republicans? (if there is)

[Ming]

What... MtG is a republican... since when?

[MikeH]

I didn't mean it literally but if I explain it I'll get in trouble for making serious posts in this thread.

[Ming]

I know... just giving you grief

[Adam Smith]

Democrats date Republican women. Not much chance of it working out, but it's often easier to marry money than to work for it.

Republicans date Democratic women. They intend to marry Republican women, but want to have a little fun first.

Democrats should keep their bedroom curtains drawn at night, but don't.

Rupublicans keep their bedroom curtains drawn at night, but have no good reason to.

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, he decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person, gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republican's pocket and got out twenty dollars. He kept 15 for administrative fees and gave the homeless person five.

[MikeH]

Originally posted by Ming
I know... just giving you grief

Clearly you are all nazis but that's not one of the things in this thread.

[Theben]

Originally posted by Adam Smith
A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, he decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person, gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republican's pocket and got out twenty dollars. He kept 15 for administrative fees and gave the homeless person five.

But the 1st paragraph should've said:

...came to a homeless person. The Republican kicked the homeless person when asked for money, spit in his face, and told him to get a job.

[Giant_Squid]

"A Republican and a Democrat both saw a man drowning fifty feet out in the ocean. The Republican threw him a ten foot rope, but told him he had to swim the remaining forty feet or else he would have no incentive not to drown himself in the future. The Democrat, on the other hand threw him a rope lasting the full fifty feet, made sure he grabbed on tightly to his end...and then put down his own end and walked off to go do another good deed"

"The difference between a Republican and a Democrat can best be shown by an analogy. Let's say your car had broken down by the side of the road. The Democrat would be the person who pulls over as soon as he sees your problem, apologizes he didn't get there to help you sooner, and immediately starts fiddling around in your engine. After a half hour, he sheepishly admits he has no idea how a car works and has probably messed it up worse, but didn't feel right leaving you there on the roadside. On the other hand, a Republican would know exactly how to fix your car, but wouldn't pull over because he didn't want to be late for the Golf Tournament For Rich White People Wearing Hideous Clothing" - Dave Barry, as best I can remember it

"A libertarian would pull over, be very friendly and helpful, fix the car after two or three minutes, and then hand you a bill for 700$ plus expenses." - Me

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Rufus T. Firefly
I think I've offered this opinion before, but that doesn't seem to stop anyone else here :

1) Republicans take money from corporations, then do their evil bidding. Democrats take money from corporations, then do their evil bidding; but, they also take money from labor unions and trial lawyers, then do their evil bidding. In terms of US politics, this makes the Democrats "liberal."

2) Republicans run for election offering a traditional conservative agenda that they promptly ignore once in office (for explanation, see #1). Democrats run for election on a traditional liberal platform that they proptly ignore one in office (for explanation, see #1).

3) Democrat scandals tend to involve the abuse of money, alcohol, drugs, and or sexual partners. Republican scandals tend to involve the abuse of the Constitution of the United States (note that this is not what they do, just what they get caught doing).

4) Democrat politicians of a certain generation tend to be former anti-war types who weaseled out of service in Vietnam. Republican politicians of a certain generation tend to be pro-war types who weaseled out of service in Vietnam.

5) Coke supports the Democrats, Pepsi support the Republicans.

That's about it.

I vehemently disagree with number five.

[Q Classic]

well, you're wrong.

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Q Cubed
well, you're wrong.

If you see the error of your ways, you still have a chance to ask for forgiveness, Q.

[Q Classic]

oh, the was just to cushion the blow, you heathen commie pepsi-lover.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Originally posted by MrFun


I vehemently disagree with number five.

Feel free, but it's not an opinion -- it's a fact: The Coca Cola corporation is a major Democratic party donor, while Pepsi Cola is a major Republican party donor. That's the reason why Pepsi was the only American soft drink in the USSR once we signed the trade agreements under Nixon, while Coke was the only American soft drink sold in China a few years later, under trade agreements signed by Carter.

[Arrian]

quote:
Democrats want government to be our Mommy
Republicans want government to be our Daddy


...and Libertarians want to kill Mommy and Daddy so they can stay up all night and play with matches.

I liked that one.

-Arrian

[Q Classic]

well, that, and the chinese knew which one was superior. that's why they held out on that trade deal.

[Arrian]

The Coca Cola corporation is a major Democratic party donor, while Pepsi Cola is a major Republican party donor. That's the reason why Pepsi was the only American soft drink in the USSR once we signed the trade agreements under Nixon, while Coke was the only American soft drink sold in China a few years later, under trade agreements signed by Carter.

Sounds like Coke got the better deal, by a longshot.

-Arrian