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I will take the movie bullet so you won't have to: Nominations

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  • #1

    I will take the movie bullet so you won't have to: Nominations

    Dear Apolyton,

    I'm being a helluva guy, you know: purposely watching a movie so bad that it would be near death for you to see it - taking a movie bullet, if you will.

    So what will it be? Spice World? Glitter? Hudson Hawk? The Fountainhead? What festering sore of moviedom are you just shying away from, knowing that it will suck beyond all suckitude, leaving you scarred and bitter for life.

    I will take that bullet for you. In a subsequent thread, I will discuss said movie, and fellow bullet takers can join in on how the flickering images just sucked two hours of life from our souls.

    Like my sci-fi threads, we'll have a vote next week on the films nominated here. So, nominate those films that you consider so bad as to be unwatchable and be sure to vote for them next week.

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Smokey and the Bandit 3? Highlander 2? Grease 2?

    Only films with the following attributes will be considered for viewing:

    1. Must be an American or English production - no Japanese hentai, no Bollywood film will be considered.
    2. Must be available here in Knoxville.
    3. Must be a theatrical release.
    4. No porn or Faces of Death crap, please. Any film that has as it's primary focus the dismemberment of living creatures will not be considered. Hell, I don't even like to watch the dentistry shows on TLC.
    5. One nomination per person, but please, throw out suggestions as well.

    JohnT
    Tags: None
  • #2
    I think I'll test your sincerity in this enterprise by nominating Gigli.
    I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
    For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. –Senator Rubio

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    • #3
      Damn. Well, if it is nominated (and if it is still in theaters in two weeks) I'll do it.

      Comment

      • #4
        Bean.

        That film sucked in a way most movies could only dream of sucking. At least the first half hour of it. Then it achieved total and complete suckatrocity, and I decided to call it a night.

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        • #5
          I'll have to go with Highlander 2. It doesn't get any worse than that.
          "Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way. "
          -Bokonon

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          • #6
            Gigli.

            Let's see if you can out-negative reveiw all of the other negative reviews.
            No, I did not steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

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            • #7
              Gigli started at #8 this weekend -- and I suspect at least half went just to see if anything could be as bad as the reviews said.
              No, I did not steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

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              • #8
                Doesn it have to be in the theaters currently or can I nominate MiB II?
                Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

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                • #9
                  Glen and Glenda
                  "mono has crazy flow and can rhyme words that shouldn't, like Eminem"
                  Drake Tungsten
                  "get contacts, get a haircut, get better clothes, and lose some weight"
                  Albert Speer

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                  • #10
                    I was thinking about that, but that one's classicaly bad, not painfully bad.
                    Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Independance Day
                      "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
                      "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
                      "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Spiffor
                        Independance Day
                        That was a decently funny movie!
                        I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
                        For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. –Senator Rubio

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Ok, here is one that made me cringe - the new guy.
                          "mono has crazy flow and can rhyme words that shouldn't, like Eminem"
                          Drake Tungsten
                          "get contacts, get a haircut, get better clothes, and lose some weight"
                          Albert Speer

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            The crowd demands Gigli!

                            "You're the biggest user of hindsight that I've ever known. Your favorite team, in any sport, is the one that just won. If you were a woman, you'd likely be a slut." - Slowwhand, to Imran

                            Eschewing silly games since December 4, 2005

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by DinoDoc
                              That was a decently funny movie!
                              Well, it would have made my head explode, but for the sake of choosing an absolutely great rotten tomato, here you go:
                              Lost in Space

                              I now use this movie as a measurement tool over how bad a movie can be. It is not the worst movie I've ever seen, but it just has everything you want: uninteresting plot, uninteresting villan, nice guys really nice, overbloated family values, pathetic humour, etc. A real measurement tool
                              "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
                              "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
                              "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

                              Comment

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