A Temporary Rugby Thread

[finbar]

Originally posted by ravagon
The Wallabies rugby practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Eddie Jones immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called in to investigate. After a complete analysis, forensic experts determined that the white powdery substance unknown to players was the try line. Practice was resumed after special agents decided that the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

Yes, it had another outing in this morning's paper. Peter Fitzsimons, former Wallaby and supremely untalented journalist, ran it a couple of years ago. It's been adapted for various teams in various sports over time.

That said and done, if anyone is interested, I would propose a margin of between 8-10 points (in Australias favour) on the Wallaby-Bok game tomorrow.
Anyone?

Good thinking. I'd almost forgotten. The Boks have made their usual plethora of changes and the Wallabies are under massive pressure to lift their game. How about 9.5? Will anyone back the Boks with that start? Remember, our margin, within reason, is more about ensuring a betting contest for ourselves than a forensic analysis.

[Alexander's Horse]

When Jones coached they came fourth at the world cup.

[Frozzy]

I still await Rugby - Engage! or Rugby - See you in 10

I'll put 10 on Australia with that 9.5 margin.

[finbar]

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
When Jones coached they came fourth at the world cup.

Yes, when attacking Eddie, he conveniently forgets that he lost his last 4 or 5 in a row before he was sacked. In actual fact, he was sacked as much for the divisions he'd created within the team as he was for losing Test matches. The Ella brothers have all said publicly that Alan Jones drove them into early retirement.

[finbar]

Originally posted by Frozzy
I still await Rugby - Engage! or Rugby - See you in 10

I'll put 10 on Australia with that 9.5 margin.

I like those two suggestions. We certainly haven't used the latter, I'm not sure about the former. Maybe FP, our official Thread Archivist, can use his News Editor nose to sniff it out for us and actually earn his expenses instead of sitting with his feet on his desk contemplating his belly button.

Will anyone back the Boks with only 9.5 start? That's what concerns me. If no one does, we won't have a pool.

[Alexander's Horse]

Originally posted by finbar


Yes, when attacking Eddie, he conveniently forgets that he lost his last 4 or 5 in a row before he was sacked. In actual fact, he was sacked as much for the divisions he'd created within the team as he was for losing Test matches. The Ella brothers have all said publicly that Alan Jones drove them into early retirement.

not to mention his locker room behaviour.....

[finbar]

He saves that up for his trips to London.

[Frozzy]

Rugby - Engage! has not been previously used, though it has once been suggested by Tamerlin.

Rugby - See you in 10 also has not been used.

[ravagon]

Originally posted by finbar

Will anyone back the Boks with only 9.5 start? That's what concerns me. If no one does, we won't have a pool.

Now that I've suggested 8-10 I should probably point out that my last couple of guesses were something like 7 and 8, and these for games in which the All-blacks won by, well, slightly larger margins each time.
ie: My recent guesses have been lousy. It might be an idea to knock it up to 11.5 or maybe even 12.5?


If we have a quorum I'm also tempted to suggest that in the very near future we either

(a) allow deficit betting - as long as nobody goes off the deep end betting hundreds at a time.

(b) Declare that heinous gold-hog Andydog the winner this time around and reset everything.


Also we should pay FP the one-time-only princely sum of 100 civ gold in exchange for all of his archive-related services, at which point he is forever indebted and obliged to continue indefinitely.

[Alexander's Horse]

How about Rugby: the other white meat.

[finbar]

Originally posted by Frozzy
Rugby - Engage! has not been previously used, though it has once been suggested by Tamerlin.

Rugby - See you in 10 also has not been used.

I like both of them. The latter is slightly more perverse so it has to get my vote.

[finbar]

Originally posted by ravagon


Now that I've suggested 8-10 I should probably point out that my last couple of guesses were something like 7 and 8, and these for games in which the All-blacks won by, well, slightly larger margins each time.
ie: My recent guesses have been lousy. It might be an idea to knock it up to 11.5 or maybe even 12.5?

Something like that would attract some Bok money, I'd've thought.

If we have a quorum I'm also tempted to suggest that in the very near future we either

(a) allow deficit betting - as long as nobody goes off the deep end betting hundreds at a time.

Agree. Maybe a 20 limit or similar.

(b) Declare that heinous gold-hog Andydog the winner this time around and reset everything.

Frankly, I don't think he ever existed except as a Tamerlin DL. I put the motion that we declare him as such and distribute his account amongst the rest of us. Tamerlin excluded, to teach him a lesson for being a smartypants.

Also we should pay FP the one-time-only princely sum of 100 civ gold in exchange for all of his archive-related services, at which point he is forever indebted and obliged to continue indefinitely.

Depends how frustrated a poet he is. If he's as frustrated as some I know, he'd only spend it on cheap plonk. If it comes to that, he probably would anyway.

[finbar]

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
How about Rugby: the other white meat.

Pardon?

[Havak]

The problem is I now have this strange mix of the Fat Cow thumb nail, Winston and John Lennon stuck in my minds eye. Bizarre.

If you're talking about offside play, et al, that's become a worldwide phenomenon.

All teams do it – the level of incidence remains most impressive in S12 however.

It is also pointed out that there is absolutely no alternative on the horizon.

I meant to mention it last time actually – how about foreign talent. Buck Shelford is available I believe. A man who can play on after having a happy sack stitched up could be just what the Wallaby coaching set up needs right now.

It's too easy to forget the detail of performances.

Very true. I’ve forgotten the details of almost every Tigers game last year - but then it was a very forgettable season.

I think it's come about because his forwards just aren't giving him the time or space to do anything other than retreat and pass.

I am sure you are right. The front row is definitely the problem you identified it as. I think playing the two opensides wasn’t a disaster but I can’t help but feel a more physical presence like Owen would help get that ball being carried forward.

I'd bet 5 Civ Gold - more if I had more in my account - that we will see Larkham move to full back

Can’t take that bet – it makes too much sense.

Who now can't get a contract with a Welsh club and is apparently off to Munster.

Just like World+Dog is at the moment. JJH was unlucky in suffering a serious injury fairly soon after his much hyped move – but it’s very clear he was never really going to worry Wallaby selectors even if he had stayed fit down there – a very over hyped player.

One possible explanation - I heard on the wireless news this morning that there was a massive theft of Viagra tablets from a warehouse in Paris.

I rather suspected chemicals were involved after that amazing little Anglo-French patriotic montage he posted the other day.

The only way to shut it up is to play well. That, or an axe through its frontal lobe.

I’m not entirely sure which option would make you happier?

would then still have to wait for two more years after he finished before he could play in the black jersey.

And given he is Samoan and not a New Zealander I just can’t really see anything wrong with that myself. Nice name though.

7 years might have been applicable several decades ago but people tend to travel more and more nowadays so such restrictions have to give a little.

This seems a flawed argument. People travel a lot therefore they should be able to choose what nationality they are on some kind of ad hoc fast track basis? I went to Australia two years ago – I’ve never been capped for England – can I put myself up for Wallaby selection?
Actually thinking about their front row crisis not such a bad idea.

imagine if Wilco happened to have a Scottish parent and had spent enough time there that, due to some miniscule technicality, he wasn't eligible to play for England in lieu of Scotland?

But you see under my suggestion for eligibility he would still be able to play for us because the lad was born in England. Also under my suggestion he could also choose to be Scottish should he so wish (were he insane enough!).
Your analogy would catch me out more if he had been born in Scotland to Scottish parents then moved south at 16 to play for Newcastle and from thence get selected for England. In such a scenario I would expect him to wait and qualify however much it harmed England – seven whole years so he would be 23 before he could play (the age he is now bizarrely enough).

I believe it may have come up yes. Once or twice.

I must apologise – strangely those games have all stuck in my mind. A lot of players – English and Celts have gone on my “you total buffoon” list from those games.

I made sure I looked it up before I posted it. Erm, this time. *ahem*

You know I rather suspected you had.

The ABs were very impressive winning that pool and looked real sharp in the QF. Who did they meet in the SF again?

If ever Tamerlin needed an open door…

That said and done, if anyone is interested, I would propose a margin of between 8-10 points (in Australias favour) on the Wallaby-Bok game tomorrow.
Anyone?

I quite liked that sarcastic try line piece even if it was a little unfair to a side that scored three tries even whilst being routed.

Is that margin a start of 9.5 to the Wallabies? Or have I misread that? The Wallabies are my favourites for the home leg so a start for them makes a Bok bet worthless?

As Finbar says we need to make it worthwhile for punters to back both sides or no one wins anything.

He saves that up for his trips to London.

Public locker rooms as found in many a Park perhaps?

As far as the betting goes Finbar how about we reset after the Tri-nations concludes – giving everyone a fresh pot ready for the Warm up games and RWC itself?

[Havak]

As the old try line gag has been recycled here is another old favourite I got sent again this week.

Rugby World Cup 2003 - IRB Rugby World Cup 2003

Following complaints made to the IRB about the All Blacks being allowed to motivate themselves by performing the 'Haka' before their games, other nations were asked to suggest pre-match rituals of their own.

The IRB Rugby World Cup 2003 Organising Committee has now agreed to the following pre-match displays:

The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air and attach bells to their ankles before moaning about how they invented the game and gave it to the world, and how it's not fair that everyone still thinks New Zealand are the best team in the world.

The Scotland team will chant "You lookin' at me Jimmy?" before smashing an Iron Bru bottle over their opponents' heads.

The Ireland team will split into two, with the Southern half performing a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the Traditional route from their dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents dressing room.

Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition territory, claim it as their own "Las In-Goals-Areas" and then be forcibly removed by the match stewards.

Two members of the South African team will claim to be more important than the other 13 whom they will imprison between the posts whilst they claim the rest of the pitch for themselves.

The Americans will not attend until almost full time. In future years they will amend the records to show that they were in fact the most important team in the tournament and Hollywood will make a film called 'Saving No.8 Lyle'.

Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marseillaise and hold the rest of the team to ransom.

The Italian team will arrive in Armani gear and then run away.

The Spanish will sneak into the other half of the pitch, mow it and then claim that it was all in line with European "grass quotas". They will then curl up under the posts and have a kip until half time, when their appeal for compensation against the UK Government will be heard.

The Japanese will attempt to strengthen their team by offering good salaries to the key opposition players and then run around the pitch at high speed in a highly efficient manner before buying the ground (with a subsidy from the UK Government).

The French will declare they have new scientific evidence that the opposition are in fact all mad. They will then park lorries across the halfway line, let sheep loose in the opposition half and burn the officials.

The Australians will have a barbie before negotiating lucrative singing and TV contracts in the UK. They will then invite all their mates to come and live with them in Shepherds Bush."

Unfortunately the Committee were unable to accept the Welsh suggestion following representations from the RSPCA.