Best way to disguise an empire?

[Immortal Wombat]

We beat Finland!

[Skanky Burns]

Australia beat NZ too! But then, no real surprise.

[Kassiopeia]

Of course Finland was 14th. We aren't stupid. Norway is just a diversion.

[Odin]

Originally posted by Kassiopeia
Norway is just a diversion.

WHY YOU LITTLE...

[Dis]

*wipes eyes*

I could have swore the thread was titled: best way to disguise an umpire

[The Mad Monk]

Wow...the Russian Federation has really fallen down that list.

[Az]

Yep. USSR was around the mid 30s there, IIRC.

[Serb]

Who said USSR here?
Here I am...

[Serb]

Re: Best way to disguise an empire?

Originally posted by problem_child
So you're the ruling elite of a big powerful nation, and you wan't to know how to further your position by being an empire. Empires are afterall built to service ruling elites, so here's how you go about it.

First, call all emperial campaigns of acquisition 'missions of mercy', to 'further the lot of fellow human beings' by bringing them- I dunno, the one true religion or something, or 'freedom and democracy'.

Justify your support of local warlords and militarist collaborators by saying you have to to defend 'freedom' even if it means having to work with less savoury characters (if they're not unsavoury enough when you buy them- train them up in military colleges so they know how to torture, kidnap, blackmail and kill more effectively).

When you send armies out to crush upstart chieftains and renegade monarchs with your own forces, call it a 'police action', make yourself out to be 'reluctantly' defending the rights of ungrateful foreigners, allow people to call you the 'worlds policeman' perhaps. This means your PR is working.

Once you've screwed up enough countries so nobody could possibly rival your way of doing things, you'll find you have a bunch of 'loser countries'... no, let's call them 'Developing World' countries, where you can pay the workforce chump-change to make goods you then sell at home for a significant markup. You and your fellow Elitebridge University buddies can pocket the difference. You can buy as many resources as you need at cut-rate prices. Your corporations and trading-organizations don't have to pay the local taxes, and nobody gives you hastle about health issues or environmental matters because their weak, and need your 'investment'.

The ignorant masses back home will fall for it every time, their knowledge of the rest of the world comes from news organizations that tow the corporate line, and anyway wave a flag at em and display their bloated army so they feel powerful, and that its all being done in their name. Associate your interest with their interest, this can be done with a little thing called 'patriotism', or at least your version of it- sold vigoruously.

The herds of wage-earners will never figure out that your spending their tax-dinars to build an army to look after your corporate interests. They wont put it together that you'll move their jobs overseas to where you have arranged for people to be paid pebble-money. They'll probably agree with you when you tell them welfare for people sucks, but won't know enough to complain of the welfare for corporations you happily dish out by the billions every year, for corpos owned by yourself and your buddies.

This is only a sketch of how it should be done, other details were not included because well, I'm lazy. But this is how Norway does it, and nobody suspects a thing.

It sounds like quote from George's book.

[Serb]

Great reading.
(for American president )

[Drake Tungsten]

What is Poutine? Is that the leader of some piss-ant country or something?

[Harovan]

Originally posted by Drake Tungsten
What is Poutine? Is that the leader of some piss-ant country or something?

If you don't know what Poutine is, this book is for you. Perhaps they can sell the 2nd copy this way?

[Serb]

Thanks Sir Ralph.
Obviously Drake need to read it.
He is weird dude. He is an author of Chilian conspiracy theory.

[Harovan]

Originally posted by Serb

Thanks Sir Ralph.
Obviously Drake need to read it.
He is weird dude. He is an author of Chilian conspiracy theory.

You're welcome.

I even hid a second meaning of "Poutine" in a link in the quote. But since it contains the words "french" and "cheese", it probably won't please Drake Tungsten either.

[Drake Tungsten]

I guess I was too subtle for you ignorant foreigners.