Emigration to the states?

[Worthingtons]

Ok, a Question for anybody that knows.
Some day in my life, after I have graduated from University I would like to come and live in the greatest Nation on Earth - the USA.
But how do I do this legally?
I dont just want to work there for a while but actually become a US citizen so i have permanent stay.
How does the US select immigrants?? what kind of qualifications/experience would i require to get a green card?
Cheers

[DinoDoc]

Re: Emigration to the states?

Originally posted by Rothy
But how do I do this legally?

This site should be of great help to you: http://www.immigration.gov/graphics/index.htm

[Solly]

Good idea.

[Worthingtons]

Cheers for that DD, a useful site indeed, although some things concern me.
To get top priority i need be an Alien it seems , and I cant have ever taken part in Nazi activities or summat ...

To have a likelyhood of stay i need an advanced degree - what is one of those? i am studying for a BA hons degree atm.

[FrustratedPoet]

Originally posted by Rothy
To get top priority i need be an Alien it seems , and I cant have ever taken part in Nazi activities or summat ...

Yes, the US is very keen to expand it's population of Martian and Plutonian immigrants.

Is the 'Nazi activities' thing likely to be a problem for you?

[DinoDoc]

Originally posted by Rothy
and I cant have ever taken part in Nazi activities or summat ...

We don't let in Commies either.

To have a likelyhood of stay i need an advanced degree - what is one of those?

Master's and above. MtG, DanS, etc. would be in a better position that I am to say how real a restriction that is.

[DinoDoc]

Originally posted by FrustratedPoet
Yes, the US is very keen to expand it's population of Martian and Plutonian immigrants.

Well, they are a very hard working and pleasent group of people.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Hey Rothy! If you're really, really lucky, your application to migrate to the US won't rest on the decision of somebody like you!

[Solly]

Why should anyone want to decline a hard working Brit?

[Cruddy]

Originally posted by Boddington's
Why should anyone want to decline a hard working Brit?

IIRC it's done on a quota system. Is it 50000? or 5000? Anyway, each country has a maximum number of applicants and if you're after that in a particular year you won't make it that year. End of story.

Also, things like criminal convictions and membership of certain organisations can either hinder or help your application.

For instance, if you've been convicted of "subversive activity" in a dictatorship, that would help.

If you've been convicted of importing cocaine, that would hinder.

So there's lots of reasons to decline a hard working Brit.

[Pekka]

In order to do that, you need to be saint, if you tasted cigarrette at the age of 10, you might be turned down.
Make sure you're millionaire and that you have triple PhDs, and you must have under 4% body fat.
You can't come alone, you have to have a wife so you don't take away the girls from native citizens.
You must have a job already, so you don't cramp the system, and it has to be a big company like Microsoft, because if it doesn't have more than 60 trillion dollar exchange, it can't be trusted.
You have to hate commies and preferrably killed one, confirmed. If someone in your family has ever been sick of fever, you can't come, you might kill the natives with your dirty bacteria.

You have to score 170 at mensa regulated IQ test while Justin Timberlakes newest hit is playing at 120 dbs, and your blood pressure will be monitored, you have to stay calm or you fail.
You have to know top 20 hits playing in the MTV, not MTV Europe(!!!).
This is the first stage, second stage is more physical.
35 chin ups with 10 kilo bags hanging in your legs, 600 sit ups with in 45 minutes (incomplete sit ups will result to electric shocks, most likely to kill a small baby or one with heart conditions), rope climbing with hands only (about 10 meters long rope, you must go up and down 4 times). 12 minute run, you must go at least 2.5 miles with a hangover and gasmask on your head. If you make it, you'll get an interview on swahili, you must answer every question as this will decide your fate. Questions varies from 'who was the 9828th president' to 'what was my great great great grandfathers rank in the civil war'.
Now, you made it! The last one is 10 grown men beating you like a pig, with sticks and electric shock devices, knives and chains. They ask you after 60 minutes of beating (if you are alive) if you still want to come. If you do, you're in! Woohoo!
If you fail at ANY stage of selection, you will be sent back immidately after beatings, naked and you can never come back.

But you can't own a car for the first 10 years, or have credit card, or vote, or have conversation with the natives.

Oh.. and this was before 9/11..

[DinoDoc]

Originally posted by Pekka
You have to hate commies and preferrably killed one, confirmed.

That can not be much of a hurdle for a person that was in the Finnish army.

[Pekka]

DD, sure.. Florida is one of our biggest, if not the biggest spots for retireing.

[Pekka]

Oh and as to serious reply to Rothy, serving in the army will help you with the citizenship. You need a green card and permanent resident status to be able to join.

[GePap]

No please: the last thing we need are more conservatives. Try Canada!