The stupidest thing you can remember someone saying to you?

[Zero]

Heard it from one of my physics professors who also teaches general science (basically sci credit for retards)

They were given an assignment to measure things in meters/liters/grams. Some dumb chick placed an edge of the ruler on the middle of the textbook and measured it as 6 cm and placed it as her answer.

Just another embarassing example of State University education....

[Frankychan]

Mine-

My mother, my sister, and myself were cleaning our home. My mom and I were dusting off a large ceiling fan's blades. The day was really hot and we were sweating. I'm dripping with sweat while my mom and I wipe the blades. I turn to my mom, totally serious and honest and say,

"Ho, it's pretty hot. Let's turn on the fan."

My mom-"That sounds like a good idea." (totally honest)

My sister whose watching us and listening says," 'Turn on the fan?' How are you guys going to wipe the blades?"

My mom and I both looked at each other with dumb faces and started laughing. Aw s*** that was dumb.

[OPD]

Originally posted by Eli
"Britain is on a island?! Ohhh, so that's what the "British Islands" thingie is all about..." (slightly paraphrased during translation)

My father, while watching TV, couple years after a week long trip to London.

What can I say... I'm surrounded by ignorance.

A friend of mine who went to the US was asked by three different people whether they speak English in Britain.

[Kidlicious]

I used to work in Yosemite. One guy asked me where the other have of Half Dome was.

Oh, and another one was when US Secretary of the Treasury said that the Bush tax cuts would increase tax revenue.

[Zero]

one more:

I was explainging to my co-worker what I was learning in my calc phys. So basically I gave the most simplest easier than HS explanation of gravity and electromagnetism.

Anyway, I think I was on why satellites orbit when this happened... I drew a circle and labeled it as earth and drew two people standing on it. then I drew an arrow to indicate where gravity was pulling them and she notices the guy on the "bottom" being pulled "upward" and asks me:

"Wait so this guy doesnt fall off?"

[Zero]

Going back to terrible geographaic knowledge stuff mentioned by arrian and uber...

When I was little I watched two documentary(?) about mexico and canada. Both doc started off with an intro that basically mentions that they are next to US. I was confused by how both were next to a same object for a second and came up with a conclusion that Canada must be right of US and Mexico is on the left of US.

[Dinner]

One of the chicks at my old employer was talking about which dentist she should use under the company dental plan. The plan let you go to just about any dentist you wanted so she asked me how to find a good dentist. I told her "Why don't you just call 1-800-DENTIST?" to which she asked me "What's the number to 1-800-DENTIST?"!

She was cute but stupid.

[Al B. Sure!]

Kidicious:

Actually, tax cuts can increase revenue as was proven by Secretary of the Treasury Andrew Mellon (i think that was who it was) in the 1920's... the thing was that during the war when taxes were somewhat high, revenue had been low as most people with money had put their money in tax exempt bonds... when he reduced the taxes, revenue increased as people were less likely to put their money in tax exempt bonds as they felt the taxes were low enough to not bother with bonds...

so yes, cutting taxes CAN increase revenue.

[Al B. Sure!]

there is also the matter of lower taxes spurning on more business activity and more job creation which also eventually leads to increased revenue as there is more income and more property to tax (albeit at a reduced tax rate)

[Kirnwaffen]

In seventh grade we studied basic human history. Part of this is, obviously, the theory of evolution and the development of human anatomy. In one class, when attempting to ask a question regarding the 'hyoid' bone, one girl referred to it as the 'hemroid' bone, to which my teacher replied "I don't think preparation H could fix that".

My friend Ben, who decided he was just going to fail a semester of physics, was taking his final. When given a problem regarding the force of an impact of a rocket in salt water of such-and-such density, he gave the answer 'two lightyears'.

This one probably requires a little knowledge of mixing boards to understand, but I was astonished when someone who claimed to have worked with sound design for a couple of years was able to inform me that the potentiometer labeled 'F/B' controlled feedback.

[Dauphin]

I remember a teacher at my school attempted to put down a student by saying "Even if I taught you everything I know, you still wouldn't know anything".

Another time a few students were late for a class, the teacher asked why they were late. They responded that they were detained by a previous class. The teacher's response was wholly unintelligible - "So? I may have just got out of prison, but I haven't!".

[realpolitic]

On 9/10/01 An astrologer said that the 6 inner planets(excepting Earth) were going to align over the Great Pyramid of Egypt on 9/16/01 in a Star of David and this was going to start The Age of Aquarius.

This woman gives me great joy when she says organic molecules are tetrahedronal, and I mentioned that sugar molecules are hexagonal, she hit the ceiling, atmospheric discharge is zeropoint energy, and all the other nonsense spouted by Art Bell/George Noorie. If you miss the Iraqi Information Minister, check these two out.

[Ted Striker]

One time I went to the restaurant and asked for a cheesburger without cheese.

[Victor Galis]

Not addressed to me personally, but Ashcroft's statement about the capture of Eric Rudolph cracked me up. (For those of you who don't know, Rudolph was apprehended by a young cop who thought he might be trying to break into a local business and had very little to do with the large manhunt that failed to catch him for five year; i.e. it was pure luck).:

"This sends a clear message that we will never cease in our efforts to hunt down all terrorists, foreign or domestic, and stop them from harming the innocent"

[Odin]

My cousin called me a traitor because I don't like Bush.