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Stoopid Ensign.

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  • #1

    Stoopid Ensign.

    This afternoon the only two people in 32nd St Naval Station's were myself, and a GSM3 (E-4). Phone rings.

    It was my roommate, a FC3 (E4), "Hey Bucher, they'll be an Ensign S0-and-so along shortly, play along.

    "Uhm, okay."

    Sure enough, an Boot Ensign walked in. Nothing on his chest except for the warm body ribbon everyong has.

    "Can I help you sir?"

    "Yes Seaman, I'm looking for a battery for a sound-powered Telephone."

    Long silence.

    GSM3 (E-4 with me) says "I beg your pardon Sir?

    Ensign repeats. "A FC3 over at the Firecontrol School supply office sent me here."

    Me: "Well sir, We'll all out of batteries for sound-powered phones. I think the Shiloh has some, they're at Pier one."

    Ensign leaves for Shiloh.

    45 minutes later....

    "You think this is F--king funny? I'm going to write all of you up!"

    "Go ahead sir, the Capitain will laugh at you."

    He wrote ALL of us up, went to his CO, who asked why on Earth he thought a *sound-powered* telephone would have batteries.

    Dumbass.

    Our best and brightest at work.
    Today, you are the waves of the Pacific, pushing ever eastward. You are the sequoias rising from the Sierra Nevada, defiant and enduring.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    It's not totally stupid. Gas-powered cars still need batteries.
    "Yay Apoc!!!!!!!" - bipolarbear
    "At least there were some thoughts went into Apocalypse." - Urban Ranger
    "Apocalype was a great game." - DrSpike
    "In Apoc, I had one soldier who lasted through the entire game... was pretty cool. I like apoc for that reason, the soldiers are a bit more 'personal'." - General Ludd

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    • #3


      Good to see somethings haven't changed!!!!

      Wait until they send somebody for a bucket of steam.

      Are you on a ship?

      ACK!
      Don't try to confuse the issue with half-truths and gorilla dust!

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Apocalypse
        It's not totally stupid. Gas-powered cars still need batteries.
        Yes, it is totally stupid.
        Today, you are the waves of the Pacific, pushing ever eastward. You are the sequoias rising from the Sierra Nevada, defiant and enduring.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Apocalypse
          It's not totally stupid. Gas-powered cars still need batteries.
          Not to make gas they don't.

          ACK!
          Don't try to confuse the issue with half-truths and gorilla dust!

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          • #6
            The battery was to warm up the telephone's handset. Obviously!
            I'm building a wagon! On some other part of the internets, obviously (but not that other site).

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            • #7
              I'm waiting for the Bunker Hill to come in.
              Today, you are the waves of the Pacific, pushing ever eastward. You are the sequoias rising from the Sierra Nevada, defiant and enduring.

              Comment

              • #8
                Originally posted by Skanky Burns
                The battery was to warm up the telephone's handset. Obviously!
                A soundpowered Telephone is exactly what it sounds like. There is no need for batteries.
                Today, you are the waves of the Pacific, pushing ever eastward. You are the sequoias rising from the Sierra Nevada, defiant and enduring.

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                • #9
                  Hehehe.

                  I did something like that last summer to one of the kids who worked for me. He was a complete stoner, so I decided to give him some ****.

                  I had him go to each of the bars withing walking distance to ask for a "Bottle Stretcher". Needless to say, his parents called to file a complaint with the boss
                  If you look around and think everyone else is an *******, you're the *******.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Stoopid Ensign.

                    I've heard and done variations of this joke (In the air force ya tell the guy to get a bucket of propwash) so I was thinking same-old, same-old until I read this:
                    Originally posted by Lonestar
                    He wrote ALL of us up, went to his CO, who asked why on Earth he thought a *sound-powered* telephone would have batteries.
                    That's friggen unbelieveable
                    He wrote all of you up!!!

                    What a twit.
                    Golfing since 67

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                    • #11
                      Did the Ensingn have his sense of humour removed along with his intelligence
                      Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
                      Douglas Adams (Influential author)

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                      • #12
                        You know what's really sad? If there are dumbasses like that in America's military, how dumb must other militaries be if we're the best.
                        To us, it is the BEAST.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Sava
                          You know what's really sad? If there are dumbasses like that in America's military, how dumb must other militaries be if we're the best.
                          The US have the best equipment, personnel is another matter.

                          Anyway don't most Junior officers go through a phase of thinking they are really important until someone points out ther're not
                          Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
                          Douglas Adams (Influential author)

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Sava
                            You know what's really sad? If there are dumbasses like that in America's military, how dumb must other militaries be if we're the best.
                            Soldiers don't fight with intelligence. American is the best because they're the stupidest.
                            Concrete, Abstract, or Squoingy?
                            "I don't believe in giving scripting languages because the only additional power they give users is the power to create bugs." - Mike Breitkreutz, Firaxis

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                            • #15
                              In the submarine service we had another way of treating ensigns (who were not qualified in subs):

                              Captain: The reason I called you together this morning is to introduce Ensign Le Blank. I expected him to be treated with the full dignity and respect that the US Navy affords to a regular line officer and one of America's finest -- Throw him over the side!

                              Then we got to throw him over the side but we always took his hat so it wouldn't get wet. Then when he was struggling in the water we would throw it to him. This was always great fun.

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