Are you 'yes' man?

[Pekka]

It's not that I didn't get any money out of it, but I'm offended that they treated me like I was some mule. They needed help so they can do business tomorrow! I'd be extra happy if someone helped in that situation and give EXTRA, not LESS or certainly not NOTHING with no apprecation as summer bonus. So I'm offended that I got treated like that, I'm deeply hurt that they didn't even offer me coffee.

[Pekka]

But I'm sure they feel bad tomorrow when they close the deal and think back about the work and remember that I helped them. I'm sure they feel bad about themselves being so rude and they deserve the feeling too.

[DAVOUT]

This is a case where a qualified worker is expoited not by the system but by himself.

Everybody is happy but YOU. So you must adapt your answer to the situation as it is, and people as they are really, and not as you would prefer them to be.

Helping is fine, but nobody said it should be free.

Try next time, particularly if you are reluctant to ask money. Nobody will do it for you.

[Pekka]

No. I just won't help these people anymore, they offended me and that's fine. Oh, and if even one of those guys so much as thinks insulting me in the streets, I'm gonna smash and crush them and brake their arms.

[BeBMan]

Re: Are you 'yes' man?

Originally posted by Pekka
If someone asks you favours, do you keep doing them without anyone ever returning them back? Man, I'm so tired of helping out other people even when they are my buddies or relatives.

Generally I help, however, if I get the feeling that a particular person is just abusing anotherone to avoid doing some work by itself I cancel my help quickly. I usually don´t have this problem with friends or relatives, or at the university where most other people are willing to help too, but sometimes I experienced such things at work.

BTW, some years ago I was exactly like you, I helped everyone without thinking of doing my own stuff, but at some point you get the trick to avoid this. So when I can´t help because of own things to do I say so - no problem for the most people. And if they have a problkem with that I don´t care. I think a big reason for helping really everytime is that one thinks the other person (esp. if it is a friend) is insulted then (when you don´t help). But a friend who doesn´t understand why I can´t help in every minute of my life can **** off

[Pekka]

I'll continue helping my friends though. I just won't help these people who make lots of money and do business and then treat me bad. These guys I don't help anymore. And I don't know if you missed something, but I was willing to help FREE. But I was looking for cup of coffee and stuff like that.

[Pekka]

At least I can enjoy the thought that I can kick everyone of their butts and kill them with my bare hands. Now this is healthy thinking

[Urban Ranger]

Originally posted by Pekka
It's not that I didn't get any money out of it, but I'm offended that they treated me like I was some mule. They needed help so they can do business tomorrow! I'd be extra happy if someone helped in that situation and give EXTRA, not LESS or certainly not NOTHING with no apprecation as summer bonus. So I'm offended that I got treated like that, I'm deeply hurt that they didn't even offer me coffee.

I agree with you, they're some asinine persons. People are often like that though, so you need to assert yourself. Being a nice guy is one thing, being without backbone is quite another.

For example, when the boss said, "If you break something, you pay for it," I'd reply, "Okay, I guess I won't be touching anymore of your equipment then, " and stop working.

[Urban Ranger]

Originally posted by Pekka
I'll continue helping my friends though. I just won't help these people who make lots of money and do business and then treat me bad. These guys I don't help anymore. And I don't know if you missed something, but I was willing to help FREE. But I was looking for cup of coffee and stuff like that.

Why not? As long as they pay you truckloads of $$$.

[DAVOUT]

Forget the cup of coffee and take their money next time. You will probably get everything else in addition.

[Pekka]

Well if I would have broken something, I definitely wouldn't have paid for it, that's for sure. I have backbone. I have lots of it. But if you can help someone and you don't have anything important to do, then why not just help? People don't walk over me. They enter in a world of hurt if they do. But they decided to do what they did, so they pay the price of not having my help anymore if they need it in the future even if they offer me money. Maybe they don't need me in the future or don't even care, but that's the price they paid anyway. And if they decide to insult me ever again, I will give them free sunglasses.

[Pekka]

UR, No I don't help these guys anymore even if they paid me. even if they paid me good money. This I call my backbone.

[Cruddy]

Years ago, I had this problem too. The solution was to do all the work, smile etc, take all the crap, do the job, and walk away.

Then send them a bill.

I almost never got paid - but they sure were loath to ask for my services again, which is what I was aiming for without loss of reputation.

Long term, this strategy saves you an awful lot of hassle.

[Pekka]

Besides this will come to my victory one day. I know it.
Some day even this little thing and this day will become something bigger. A way or another. I know I did good job helping, so I'm pleased with myself. I know for a fact that these guys are rotten. A way or another man..

Maybe earth will get destroyed and aliens saves me and I get to pick one of the guys with me, so if I see one of them.. keep on waiving dude theres no coffee for you in this ship.. I'll pick the bad smelling homeless woman with breasts that are touching the ground and teeth missing.

Well.. maybe this is not realistic.. but a way or another this will one day play for me.

[Panag]

hi ,

yes we can say ' no '

seen it at a hotel in miami last year , .....


have a nice day