(in Korea)
1. The Asian wanna-be.
They think every 'ajoshi' they meet is going to be Mr. Miyagi. Their stories always start with 'last night, at Tae Kwon Do, Kwan Ja Neem said...'. They regard eating 'western food' as a sin. They hate it when anyone mispronounces Korean, often providing the 'correct' (a different but still wrong) pronunciation.
They always eat ALL the kimchi, no matter how bad it was, and always make sure everyone knows how much they love Kimchi. They hate the eye surgery some asians have to remove the epithcantic fold. They are always turning up their noses at 'non-authentic' stuff. They can also be like 'Oh, I'm a dedicated professional and YOU'RE NOT.' 'I'm as GOOD AS ASIAN, honkey!'
Extreme Case: From the Buddha's Birthday Parade thursday, 2 white Americans, married, their kids only speak Korean and go to Korean schools, the whole family dressed in Han Bok and other traditional dress....the freak show.
2. The Loser: Came to Korea because there is no ****ing way he could ever have a normal western life or relationship. Usually has a green-haired girl on one arm ****ing him for a passport. Often a hick. Doesn't have a driver's license. Has forgotten that most of us are from a society still uncomfortable with open infidelity and prostitution. Says he knows where the weed is, but just talk. Often an ugly, fat, geek, but talks like a 'poser' because his Korean 'girlfriends' expect it, bee-yatch.
Extreme Case: Andrew from Mi-crookedback-crookedback-i-crookedback-crookedback-ippi with his green haired 4 month, instant wedding hall 'wife', his state uni BA, his zero applicable to a real job experience, his pre-maturely thinning hair, and his 'ah met har through the in-TAR-net'
3. The Burn Out: think of the guy from Apocalypse Now "when I was there I wished I was here and when I was here I wished I was there". He moves in a kind of daze, nothing fazes him anymore. He's like Zaphod from Guide "Don't even TRY to outwierd me." Speaks good Korean. Drinks in the ajoshi bars, not the clubs. If he had a GF, she moved here or left. If she left, he always talks about reunions that never happen. He's always going back to his 'plan'...which always takes him back to Asia in the end. The older version of this guy is kinda 'post-colonial' looking.
Extreme Case: All the lifers can eventually be recognized.
4. The Chum: These are the ones who only ever hang out with other EFLs. They only go to Itaewon, if they go out much at all. They drink, and eat at Mc Donalds. They might as well not be in Korea. Call them the 'Culture?? huh?' crowd. They don't know any Korean after a year. If they are geeks, they rarely ever leave the appartments.
Extremes: too many to count
5. The haters/scum: These are the odd ******. They believe the secret of asian culture is simply rudeness, pushiness, and a total lack of respect. They treat Koreans like children and the children like dogs. They can't function too well back in canada after the kinda stuff they get used to, but "Everything is better back in X, can you believe that? They're so ****ing stupid and primitive and corrupt, and unsanitary and comformist here" "everybody is stupid except me" "You're ONLY making 2.1?? HAHAHHAHA." "Everybody who isn't a total IDIOT works (illegal) privates". "Asian women are all whores or *****es". "where the whores at?" "They aren't even 'REAL' christians! (fundie version)" "My coworkers are stupid and always scheming against me" "I'm bailing on this when and skippin' to Incheon to 'work' another training period" "One a these heahr little gooks gives me lip, ah jus' smack em right up side thah hayd HAWHAWHAW" (patent jack Chick)
Extremes: Some people just have their bad nights....others are ****.
1. The Asian wanna-be.
They think every 'ajoshi' they meet is going to be Mr. Miyagi. Their stories always start with 'last night, at Tae Kwon Do, Kwan Ja Neem said...'. They regard eating 'western food' as a sin. They hate it when anyone mispronounces Korean, often providing the 'correct' (a different but still wrong) pronunciation.
They always eat ALL the kimchi, no matter how bad it was, and always make sure everyone knows how much they love Kimchi. They hate the eye surgery some asians have to remove the epithcantic fold. They are always turning up their noses at 'non-authentic' stuff. They can also be like 'Oh, I'm a dedicated professional and YOU'RE NOT.' 'I'm as GOOD AS ASIAN, honkey!'
Extreme Case: From the Buddha's Birthday Parade thursday, 2 white Americans, married, their kids only speak Korean and go to Korean schools, the whole family dressed in Han Bok and other traditional dress....the freak show.
2. The Loser: Came to Korea because there is no ****ing way he could ever have a normal western life or relationship. Usually has a green-haired girl on one arm ****ing him for a passport. Often a hick. Doesn't have a driver's license. Has forgotten that most of us are from a society still uncomfortable with open infidelity and prostitution. Says he knows where the weed is, but just talk. Often an ugly, fat, geek, but talks like a 'poser' because his Korean 'girlfriends' expect it, bee-yatch.
Extreme Case: Andrew from Mi-crookedback-crookedback-i-crookedback-crookedback-ippi with his green haired 4 month, instant wedding hall 'wife', his state uni BA, his zero applicable to a real job experience, his pre-maturely thinning hair, and his 'ah met har through the in-TAR-net'
3. The Burn Out: think of the guy from Apocalypse Now "when I was there I wished I was here and when I was here I wished I was there". He moves in a kind of daze, nothing fazes him anymore. He's like Zaphod from Guide "Don't even TRY to outwierd me." Speaks good Korean. Drinks in the ajoshi bars, not the clubs. If he had a GF, she moved here or left. If she left, he always talks about reunions that never happen. He's always going back to his 'plan'...which always takes him back to Asia in the end. The older version of this guy is kinda 'post-colonial' looking.
Extreme Case: All the lifers can eventually be recognized.
4. The Chum: These are the ones who only ever hang out with other EFLs. They only go to Itaewon, if they go out much at all. They drink, and eat at Mc Donalds. They might as well not be in Korea. Call them the 'Culture?? huh?' crowd. They don't know any Korean after a year. If they are geeks, they rarely ever leave the appartments.
Extremes: too many to count
5. The haters/scum: These are the odd ******. They believe the secret of asian culture is simply rudeness, pushiness, and a total lack of respect. They treat Koreans like children and the children like dogs. They can't function too well back in canada after the kinda stuff they get used to, but "Everything is better back in X, can you believe that? They're so ****ing stupid and primitive and corrupt, and unsanitary and comformist here" "everybody is stupid except me" "You're ONLY making 2.1?? HAHAHHAHA." "Everybody who isn't a total IDIOT works (illegal) privates". "Asian women are all whores or *****es". "where the whores at?" "They aren't even 'REAL' christians! (fundie version)" "My coworkers are stupid and always scheming against me" "I'm bailing on this when and skippin' to Incheon to 'work' another training period" "One a these heahr little gooks gives me lip, ah jus' smack em right up side thah hayd HAWHAWHAW" (patent jack Chick)
Extremes: Some people just have their bad nights....others are ****.
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