Demosthenes Semi Acc Turn Posts

[Jon]

Turn 6 to Noble Caligula.

As promised no mention of his perverse attitude to matters equine has been made.

OOPS! I guess that was one. Please forgive Chief Jon for his slip of the keyboard.

[Rick Elkins]

turn6--> Sophanthro

Mighty Caligula:

Would that you be merciful and allow our messenger to return to his home.

And before he leaves, please ask him to pick up some Buffalo mozzarella and a package of prosciutto from the great markets of Rome. Oh, and maybe some cannoli would be nice.

[MOBIUS]

Would that I could - but we don't yet have a Marketplace...

On the list of 'Things to do' - you know how it is...

Since the Great Rick of the Assyrians has asked me to be lenient with this messenger, I have decided to forego my usual 'pastimes'

MOBIUS

[Sophanthro]

Turn 7 ==> Demosthenes

The scribes of Egypt reported a huge jump in power by the distant Incans. The pharaohs advisors suggested that this gain was caused by a massive deployement of settlers. But the Pharaoh is loathe to trust the scribes as they have often reported falsely. He would drown them in the Nile, but they have formed a bloody union. For this very reason the Pharaoh has begun construction of mighty maze like structure; and longs for they day that he can send these foolish scribes into it to draw maps, while he releases his Minotaurs.

[The True Demosthenes]

Turn 7 ==> Jon

The Council of Mudhuts has warned the people of Wales against mingling with our neighbours the Incans.

Rumours have us believe that the Incans are procreating at an incredible pace, and that contact with an average Incan male will leave the average Welsh women impregnated within at least 2 hours.

"If only we had contraception!" cried one elder, although he was declared insane to invent such a word, let alone the shocking devices he described.

[MOBIUS]

Turn 6 --> Rick of the Assyrians...

Yes, the Roman people are truly glad that the peace treaty between our two peoples was finally found!

The errant messenger involved was so adept at avoiding Caligula, that the Imperator feels he may make good sport trying to avoid the Lions...

Must get round to building that bloody coliseum!

MOBIUS

[Jon]

Turn 7 to Caligula.

I know nothing of the Assyrians, save that their construction industry was in the hands of corrupt eunachs for some while, and still less of the Egyptians I can offer a quick and easy solution to the low birth-rate of the Roman and Welsh peoples.

Should it be that their menfolk chose to do as nature intended instead of concerning themselves with matters Ovine and Equine they would find, I am sure, no lack of fertility amongst their womenfolk.

Truly our land is bountiful but what causes me the greatest joy is the happiness of my people. They toil hard from dawn till dusk and yet still the 'Happy Scale' in Cuzco stands at a fabulous '78'! They adore me, and who could blame them, so that even though muscle and tendon be aching when I say 'Get you to your beds and breed!' they obey with a smile upon their faces. Such is the adoration in which I am held even poor homeless migrants come hither to me and beg to be allowed to enjoy my gentle rule in a land where Llama and Alpaca are left to serve as beasts of burden rather than as objects of strange fancies.

So I say to you that you would do well to follow the words of your own Holy Books.

'Let no man lie with another man nor his sister, his daughter nor the Ox nor the Ass nor any other Beast of the Field'.

and

'Let no man seek pleasure of himself that he shouldst bring forth the all consuming fire'.

Chief Jon has spoken.
[This message has been edited by Jon (edited March 30, 2000).]

[MOBIUS]

And verily there came to pass a time when great sandstorms blew in from across the great deserts bordering our Civilisation obliterating the sun from the skies and casting it's terrified peoples into unimaginable darkness...

"What are we to do - the gods have forsaken us!?" Asked Emperor Caligula's citizens...

"Fear not" cried the Imperator, "For I have recently guided you to the teachings of Theology, cast down your pagan and idolatorous beliefs in many Gods and prostrate yourself before my divine presence - for I am the one, True God - Caligula!"

"I shall prove my powers - fear not the sandstorms and darkness my children, for these are merely created by the hot air emanating from the forked tongue of the leader of the incas - ignore it and it will go away..."

At that a great susurration of relief was heard across the land of the Romans as it was realised that the Divine Emperor Caligula had indeed spoken the truth and much wine was drunk that night...

IN VINO VERITAS


MOBIUS

[Rick Elkins]

Turn7--> Sophanthro

The latest rankings caused a cloud to cross the face of the good King of the Assyrians. How could this drop from grace have occurred so suddenly?

Hadn't he saved his people from the heinous (and far too crude to be mentioned here) practices of his predecessor? Hadn't his people let out an enormous collective sigh of relief when he outlawed certain "exotic hobbies" enjoyed by that former King?

So what could be displeasing the Gods so? But perhaps THAT was the problem. The pural "Gods".

So he brought his ministers before him and asked their advice as to his idea about changing Assyria to a one-God Theocracy.

Minister #1 warned about the elimination of the separation of church and state. He also feared that this could be the start of a world where each nation believed they held the affection and ear of their particular God...that each nation would believe that they had the one true God. Might that not instigate suspicion, hatred, and even war between nations? Could anything be worth such a cost? Besides, he reasoned, the Dog-God and the Many Headed Turtle-God might be displeased.

Minister #2 reminded the King that his drinking, whoring, and gambling had reduced the Assyrian coffers to near-zero. He then reminded the King that Theocracy made for good gold production, so that the King would not have to change his lifestyle.
____________________________________

Headline in Assyrian World Tribune:

KING ANNOUNCES ASSYRIA A THEOCRACY EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!
[This message has been edited by Rick Elkins (edited March 30, 2000).]

[Sophanthro]

Turn 8 ==> Demosthenes

As the wave of Theocracy sweeps the world, Egyptian vowed their alliegence to the God's of Nature. It is true that the Pharaoh is a God, but not the only God said Amen Tut high priest of Isis. The Pharaoh however is a rising god for he his indeed wise, where as the other god's show thier wisdom thru the babbling of thier priests.

[The True Demosthenes]

Turn 8 ==> Jon

All this talk of gods? The Welsh have been a Theocracy for a long time, indeed, almost certainly before any other nation.

Because of this we claim to be the one true faith, from which all other religions stem.

[Jon]

Turn 8 to Caligula

It is is hoped that at last our map exchange will be accepted!!

Chief Jon

[MOBIUS]

Oh the arrogant petulance of the incan chief that he thinks the Imperator would gladly share the cartographical knowledge of the Roman people with him after putting up with almost four hundred years of his insults...

Perhaps he should wait until the renewal of our peace treaty as a lesson to his impudence...!

That is assuming he wishes to renew this treaty - Emperor Caligula is suspicious as to why he covets knowledge of his territory so insistently!!?

Emperor Caligula hopes that chief Jon won't throw his toy Phalanxes out of his cot over this mild admonishment from the Roman Senate and accepts that he should behave in a more responsible manner on the Intercivilisational scene...

INCITATUS

Consul of the Roman Empire

[MOBIUS]

Oh the arrogant petulance of the incan chief that he thinks the Imperator would gladly share the cartographical knowledge of the Roman people with him after putting up with almost four hundred years of his insults...

Perhaps he should wait until the renewal of our peace treaty as a lesson to his impudence...!

That is assuming he wishes to renew this treaty - Emperor Caligula is suspicious as to why he covets knowledge of his territory so insistently!!?

Emperor Caligula hopes that chief Jon won't throw his toy Phalanxes out of his cot over this mild admonishment from the Roman Senate and accepts that he should behave in a more responsible manner on the Intercivilisational scene...

INCITATUS

Consul of the Roman Empire

[Rick Elkins]

Turn8--> Sophanthro

The combination of large expanses of both desert and frigid tundra have made for some interesting flora & fauna here in Assyria.

The Great Wooly Camel is but one example. And an Assyrian chef is using local ingredients to much acclaim, concocting such toothsome delights as a Cactus Sorbet, using both ice and cactus found within arms reach of his kitchen.

Our local Assyrian sandpaper industry creates a product that's the world's most abrasive (we Assyrians are always being called abrasive), and one sage has suggested we promote Ice-Fishing Tours to tourists, although his idea resulted in confusion, as none of us knew what a tourist is.

Still, we plucky Assyrians will make lemons into lemonade (even though they won't grow in our harsh climate).