Crazed Greek Wanderings

[civman2000]

yeah, it's not as good as the other parts, but not bad...

[civman2000]

"Shut up civman!"

[Metaliturtle]

Hey, nobody is supposed to know he's sleeping with his trainer, so when civman's all "whozzat?" Al is all "shut yo hole civman"

[Metaliturtle]

A Dual invasion

As was expected, the illegitemate child of Alexander was ugly, and his mother cursed the child with the name, "Poopsie." Alexander gave them a small allotment to live on, but because the trainer was no longer hot, he didn't pay her his normal mistress salary. To help his mother, Poopsie enlisted in the military.

"Private Poopsie!"

"Yes Drill Sargeant!"

"Drop and Give me 200!"

"Yes Drill Sargeant!"

(100 or so pushups later, poopsie was slowing down)
"You ugly little maggot, you should go home and hide under yo mama's skirts, you pitiful excuse for a human being!!!"

At the end of the pushups, the Sargeant took them aside and stopped yelling for a minute

"You guys are the strongest, most able men that the Grecian Military has, I am proud to have led you for this short time, but now you must report to General Toasty, from now on you will be Marines!"

__________________________________________________

On the Roman front, things were good, Civman's powerful Knights, supplemented by a few cavalry units here and there, had taken control of 11 Roman Cities, including rome itself. It was a day of rejoicing on the African Continent when the combined French and Greecian forces prepared the invasion of the final city, Byzantium.

"General Civman sir"

"Yes?"

"A message from her majesty Joan of Arc"

Joan entered the tent and removed her helmet, her head gleamed in the sunlight and reflected into the eyes of the unaccostomed Grecians.

"When can we expect you to turn the continent over to us?"

"What?" civman was confused

"Our armies are obviosly FAR superior than your pitiful ragtag group of weasels, I suggest that unless you want your guys with those sticks with holes in both ends to have a spear shoved through them, surrender your roman conquest."

"I need Alexander's permission for that Joan, please give me a few days to get back to Greece."

_______________________________________________

The armies in New Athens were extremely busy, running around chasing women, and overall trying to have one last good time because they didn't know when their next one would be.

"C'mon Poopsie, you ugly sonofagun, even YOU are gettin' laid tonight!

"Thanks anyways guys, but I just want to know where we are going."

"Have it your way" The men walked off laughing

Poopsie had never seen a map of Germany before, and neither had most of Greece, all that was known was that Berlin was on the Atlantic coast, and America was somewhere north of there.

_______________________________________________

Outside of Byzantium, quite a scene had unfurled as the leaders of France and Rome finished their discussion for peace.

"So it is agreed, if I sign this paper and pay you Eight hundred gold, you will invade Greece?"

"That's the long and short of it Caesar"

Caesar got on one knee and said "Joan, will you marry me?"

"Yes Caesar, if you get me in on one of your famous orgies that the Greek soldiers are really into."

Just then Civman led the charge into Byzantium, slaying both Joan and Caesar at the same time, and Uniting Africa under his rule.

_______________________________________________
Everybody Partook in Orgies that night HOORAY!!
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Meanwhile, the German invasion fleet was on it's way up the coast of Europe in the hopes that Berlin would just appear. Luckily it did, but when the men landed, America had just defeated the German's and Lincoln was Adamant about General Toasty removing himself from American Soil.

Toasty requested a night in Berlin for his men, which Abe reluctantly accepted, and here is what follows.

"Men, did you come here to fight?"

"YES!!!!!!!"

"Do you want to go home!?"

"NO!!!!!!!!!!"

"Then tomorrow we march on AMERICA!!!"
________________________________________________

Alexander was enfuriated. What did they mean when they said there was no Germany? What about the stalemate between Germany and America? And why were AMERICANS now encroaching upon the 2000 year old city limits of Athens?

________________________________________________
Next installment: Attack on America

[civman2000]

great!

[Metaliturtle]

My brother is hiding Civ 3 from me, anybody know of a patch to overide the need for the disk?

[civman2000]

can't you play wo/the disk (if you did the full install)...you can in civ2....

[Metaliturtle]

can't play without the disk civman, but it's aight, I FOUND THE DISK HAHAHA and have burned and secretly hidden 3 backups, that jerk'll never be able to stop me now

FOR I AM THE CRAFTY

[Metaliturtle]

Attack on America

Lincoln was much more powerful now that he had a united Europe and speedy expansion into Asia having only the puny Aztecs and the twice defeated Egyptians, who were constantly at war, to worry about.

"Mr. President, Greecian Armies have taken control of Berlin, the people support them, and they stand to take 4 of our other German colonies in their next attack."

"Change all production to knights, we will not go down without a fight."

______________________________________________
Meanwhile in Greece

"Alexander, why don't you aknowledge your son, and get him out of that bloody German war?"

The trainer had returned

"He will prove himself in battle first, then we may see if he is fit to rule."

Hurriedly, a messenger rushed into the room "Alexander, America got a tribe called the English to form an alliance against us, reports show that they are just to the north of us."

Alexander smacked his forehead, "Why the Heck didn't we expand North? Why am I expected to come up with everything?" "How come when I pork a hot chick, she turns all ugly and wants money!??

______________________________________________

Poopsie stood outside of Liepzig, his blood was flowing quickly, his horse moved around anxiously underneath him, and his rifle hung like a 2000 pound weight on his side. General Toasty had sent his division to take control of the fortress of Liepzig, and this is how it went.

"Hello!"

"Hello?"

"I am Poopsie, Commander of this regiment, I am on a quest for this holy castle, if you give us food and shelter for the night, you may join us!"

"I don't think we'd be too keen, eh.. We've allready got one you see!?"

"What?"

"If you do not go away I shall be forced to taunt you, so called Poopsie, Commander, I blow my nose at you! You fart brained wiper of other people's bottoms, your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of Elderberries."

"OK MEN, ATTACK"

Liepzig didn't fall.....

_______________________________________________

To be evil, I'm leaving it at that, I want 4 different suggestions from 4 different people before I continue the thread, the one I pick WILL be a general or something though, except civman, he's already the head general on account of he was my first reply

[ElDiablo]

LOL
Quite humourous! (I'm Canadian, give me a break, eh?)
Monty Python...is there anything funnier to come from the UK?
Check the sig out!

[Metaliturtle]

Ahh yes, Sir Python of Monty is a character in another story I'm going to do once this one ends

[Metaliturtle]

Bump to represent yo fuh shizzay

[Sheep]

I reckon you should kill the damn Americans, they all suck anyway.
GREECE 4 EVA

[Metaliturtle]

ok, so far the continuation is ElDiablo's Monty Pythonesque adventure, or sheep's "Kill the Damn Americans"

[civman2000]

just write!