Crazed Greek Wanderings

[Metaliturtle]

It was Alexander's time. The future leader of Africa, South-Central Asia (sounds ghetto don't it?), and The middle east formed his people together in the hopes that this empire could stand the test of time.

As Alexander had fallen from the heavens, he had a vague idea of what the world looked like, unfortunately he didn't know where he landed The Grassland he landed on was a perfect site for a city, so he lost no time in constructing a hopelite in the Capitol of Athens

Shortly thereafter, the area around Athens had been explored, and Alexander knew his location as India, although from now on it would be known as Greece. He set his advisor to research straight to Republic, but for now it was time to kick a little arse.

His first Settler moved at a slow pace westward in Harvester of Sorrow formation, (1 Settler, 1 Hopelite, 1 Worker) to build a cultural influence point next to the first foreign city he got to.

Sparta was constructed on the site of the Suez Canal, inside the border of Thebes! ((why does egypt always get the correct start location? ))

Cleopatra, (Miss Cleo to friends and jokesters alike) was infuriated, and immediately sent 2 warriors in the hopes of crushing the Grecian Usurpers.(oh no!! )

After the Massacre, a temple was built in Sparta, and Divisions I-IV of Grecian Bowmen came formulating an attack on the decadent Thebes.

At the capture of Thebes, the Egyptian City of Memphis was built in Siberia, and to my knowledge is still there today.

And that's when the Legionairres reared their ugly heads....

To be continued pending further interest

[civman2000]

advice: http://apolyton.net/forums/showthrea...threadid=41965

I wouldn't give up on this story though, it has potential

[Metaliturtle]

(Civman, you get to be the general cuz you are my first reply, and Alexander hereby proclaims you "cool")

A century after the first encounter with the Romans proved only one thing to Alexander, "civs whos boats don't float" are friggin annoying when you landlock 'em"

Sparta, renamed Delphi at the behest of the cartographer (hehe I put wrong city name) was flourishing has it had been since the days of the Egyptian war.

"Commander Alexander!"

"What!!!" It was 2:00 a.m.

"The Romans have captured Delphi, and 5,000 of those legionairres are coming towards Athens like a disease!!"

At this Alexander smiled, NOW was the time to colonize the African Continent and he had just the division to do the job.
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The neon Green flag fluttered in the breeze, Civman's new mounted division, calling themselves the Elite Knights of Greece, stretched as far as the eye could see. At almost 15,000 men and beasts strong, if any army could stand the legionairres of Rome, it was these men right here.

Civman led the ride along the transcontinental road towards Delphi.

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'General Maximus!!!" He was right in the middle of his "exercises"

"WHAT!?"

"Strangely Armored Beasts are slaughtering our Legions!!"

Maximus quickly dismounted his "trainer," put on some clothes, mounted his horse (not in the same way) and rode in an attempt to stop the Grecian onslaught.

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Civman snickered, "snicker"
"soon I will have control of this Roman Empire, and I can make them be Democratic, and Then will I have my force to destroy Savoy


He gave the signal and the full force of knights thundered across the fertile floodplains, only to find....

"ONE FRIGGIN SPEARMAN!!!!? Gawd that's overkill!"

Immediately the army was recieved as liberating heroes however, so it was all good.

[Metaliturtle]

better? any commentary is welcome

[civman2000]

It's a riot!! I'm honored that you'd include me as the good guy in your story

[civman2000]

oops...accidentally hit "reply w/quote" instead of "edit", and I didn't notice (double post)

[Metaliturtle]

I accidentally saved over the game, so now I'm BSsing from what I remember of the world map, an update will come prolly tomorrow if I get inclined, but it's easier to write when I'm not basing it on stuff I believe

[Metaliturtle]

Originally posted by: Metaliturtle

I accidentally saved over the game, so now I'm BSsing from what I remember of the world map, an update will come prolly tomorrow if I get inclined, but it's easier to write when I'm not basing it on stuff I believe

What the hell am I on? oh well next stop the third installment.

[Metaliturtle]

African domination? But wait!!

Civman had taken Delphi, and had once again secured a fortification of northern Africa, once AGAIN landlocking the imbesillic Romans who were trying to discover pottery from what could be determined.
Here is what we based it on:

Rome: "For peace Rome wants Pottery, Map Making, and Delphi to prevent the rule of a decadent empire."

Greece: "We will go for peace, and give you pottery, but you need to give us 2 gold per turn, 75 gold, and a shot at Maximus's trainer."

Rome (Polite LOL):
"Thank you for ensuring the friendship between our peoples."

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Alexander threw a party in honor of Maximus's trainer, HOORAY!
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Anyway, back to Civman. He was angry at the pot-loving Romans for paying so much for [a] pot, and was not amused at the decadent orgies for which the Romans are infamous.

"Civman, Alexander calleth"

"Calleth? WTF?"

"We are in the middle ages, now leaveth thine orgy and getteth ye to Athens!!!"

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Meanwhile... at the Germany and America always win postwar party in poorly roaded Western Europe:

"Ahh! Abraham, my partner in crime, who should we invad..er.. Culturally Correct, next?"

"Bismarck, ye knoweth ye must holdeth thine tongue lest it be stricken from thine throat as if through some powerful beast."

"Wait! that's... that's...." a scared look came over the German Chancellor's face, "Medieval TALK!!" "You know gunpowder!! GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME!"

"Yes Bismarck, and thou art next on ye olde list of peoples to be correctedeth culturally."

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Civman had just arrived back in Athens, it felt good to be in the capital of the most humorous empire on the planet, but something was different to him now, almost... ominous.

"Civman!" he didn't even see the royal guard approach him, "To Alexander on the double!"

Alexander had just finished his nightly 'workout program,' and a female Roman trainer was tying up her bathrobe.

"Hey isn't that...?"

"Nevermind Civman, we now have work to do." Alexander got serious, "as you very well know, I have been coveting the African continent for millenia now."

"Yeah so?"

"I have devised a plan to gain control of the Roman territory of Africa."

"and what is that?" Civman was suddenly interested

"The French!!!"

"Who the f*ck are the French?"

"Those pink guys led by the bald ruler, Sinead O'Conner I think.. wait no, It's Joan of Arc! She's sposed to be psycho, and you know them psycho hos don' mess around"

"Aight" Civman responded, letting the conversation degenerate into whiteboy ebonics, "I just be wantin' tuh know one thing, who be you thinkin issa gonna arrange that shizza?"

Just then a messenger charged in

"SIRS, we need the knights, Germany is pillaging our improvements!"

"I'm off, I guess the French will just have to go colonize Madagascar or something for now."


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That's it cuz I'm tired again, please reply with feedback on likes/dislikes, sorry I didn't get more into your inuendo Civman, but maybe when the russians come along.... Nope, not giving the whole thing away.

[Toasty]

This is hilarious, I'd hate to see it die. Keep writing!

[civman2000]

Originally posted by Metaliturtle
I accidentally saved over the game

I hate it when that happens...it happened once and now I only play 1 normal game and one SG at a time...

On Part 3: Maybe a bit politacally incorrect, but tons of laughs!!

[Metaliturtle]

It was just a chieftain game, because really funny dumb stuff happens in them, plus chieftain is really fun to play.

I think I'll let you guys pick what to do, should I sue for peace with Germany and invade Rome? or should I maintain peace with rome and invade Germany?

[civman2000]

attack both-->good story

[Metaliturtle]

Ok, BOTH will be attacked, but I gotta work so it may not get posted untill sunday night

[Metaliturtle]

Dual Invasion

Alexander's trainer, now all fat and pregnant, busted up into the Department of Culturally Correcting Disadvantaged Civs, to find Alexander joined by his now legendary head of the cavalry, Civman, and a general who had gained fame by destroying the evil Romans at Hispalis, Toasty.

"Alexander, you're supposed to be benevolent, you ca-"

"Shut up civman!" Alexander cut him off in a fit of defensive anger.

"I wonder just how ugly that kid'll be?" thought both civman and toasty

The meeting began as expected, pleasantries, fine wine, Alexander's personal dancing girls, (author's note: The REAL Alexander had personal dancing girls, why can't this one?) then they got down to the serious business.

"Alexander, we must invade Rome while the time is right, a powerful landing on their continent's east coast would cripple their trade and make it easier to gain French support."

"Fine, do it"

"But the American's are already at war with the Germans, and they are closer to our capital, we should really invade Germany, and let Rome squalor in it's own verbal diarhea."

"Fine, do it"

"What!!?" "A WAR on TWO FRONTS? WITH THE SECOND AND THIRD STRONGEST NATIONS?" the simultaneous scream could be heard throughout Greece for centuries.

"Yes, I've got a chic...er.. trick! yes, that's it, trick! up my sleeve"

"Civman, you invade the Romans by boat to the south, I'll contact ugly old Sinead O' Arc and draw up the alliance papers."

"Toasty, since your war is on an unknown location, we can only hope you can outwit the evil German defenders and conquer the city.

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Sorry this one sux, I just got back from work, and didn't sleep last night, I promise if you give me feedback, part 5 will be better