My name is Imhotep, and I am the Chief Advisor and confidant of the Eternal Queen, Cleopatra, Blessed of Osiris and Ruler of the Nile. Though time does not touch either myself or the Queen, it weighs heavily upon our people, the Children of the Nile. Our historians have recently pressed me for a recounting of the stories of our past and despite the numerous tasks and duties that fill my days, I have agreed.
I shall not talk of the early years of our nation. Suffice to say that our people flourished from our early beginnings farming the Nile's rich lands, spreading out across our continent, bringing civilization to a rough land.
Let us talk instead of the first great challenge to our nation. I speak of- the First Latin War.
But first, a little history I need to pass on for the story to make sense.
The Romans occupied the far half of our continent. I had always been certain to be friendly with the only neighbors to share our landmass. There was brief tension after initial contact as we rushed to secure the rich gem mines of the Asyut Jungle from the encroaching Roman settlers. A string of frontier towns, Asyut, Pithom, and Busiris secured the border for the Everlasting Queen, and we settled down to the business of building up our infrastructure.
It was with great dismay that we discovered no sources of iron or horses within our borders, though our nation stretched from the Roman lands in the East, to the subcontinent of Kyushu we shared with the Japanese and Rus across the Western sea. Not even the Queen's resort island of Mendes contained so much as a scrap of iron. As we were a peaceful people, I determined at the time that we would make do without these resources and trade for them. Horses were secured from the Chinese in return for the secrets of Monarchy, and we built as many War Chariots as we could while the horses arrived. Oddly enough, our horse trainers never could figure out how to breed the horses...
But I digress. With our Chariots as a strategic reserve, I garrisoned our cities with Spearman and Archers and hoped for the best.
Time went on. Our people continued to advance in science and culture. Temples were erected in all cities, dedicated to Osiris, or Horus, or Bast- whichever god the city was patron to. Marketplaces, Harbors, Cathedrals- Egyptian cities boasted them all. Several Rus cities, lured by the peace and prosperity of Egypt, overthrew their oppressors and joined us. We welcomed them with open arms, as truly all the peoples of earth are Children of the Nile.
The Romans, meanwhile, were making nuisances of themselves. They constantly probed our border, testing our resolve to defend ourselves. Caesar would call upon the Undying Queen, and make the most ridiculous demands (though truth be told I believe he was quite smitten with our beautiful Queen and sought these audiences merely to gaze upon her). I did my best to blunt the Roman advances, but it was clear that eventually we'd face the Romans in open conflict for the supremacy of our continent.
What wasn't clear was how quickly things would come to a head.
Already lacking Iron and Horses, our economy took another hit when our Sages discovered both Gunpowder and the utter lack of any Saltpeter within Egypt. Frantically scanning mineral reports from across the globe, my eyes fell upon the Libyan desert, just across the border in the Roman Empire. There were two deposits near the Roman desert town of Ravenna. My eyes drifted a little further south, deeper into Roman territory. There was an Iron deposit in the hills above the Roman port city of Antium. The beginnings of a plan was formulating in my mind...
Dealing with the Queen is mildly frustrating most of the time, and incredibly frustrating the rest of the time. She leaves the day-to-day minutiae of running the state to me, and is content to soak up the adoration of the people for a job (MY job) well done. One never knows what mood she’ll be in at any given time. I love her dearly though, she has been the one constant in my life for over 5000 years. We are both Blessed of Osiris, granted immortal life on this world. I could never leave her side, even though she drives me crazy most days.
I set it up perfectly, if I must say so myself. In honor of the Queen’s 5650th birthday, I arranged for a spectacular display of Russian fireworks in the skies over Thebes. The Queen was enthralled by the show, demanding that I supply fireworks for all future celebrations. Our exchange:
Queen Cleopatra: (awestruck) Those, what do you call them, fire-works? Are absolutely beautiful. We simply must make use of them more often.
Me: (much hand wringing) But, my Grace, the cost of these Russian fireworks is astronomical! I of course spared no expense for your birthday, but a steady supply of fireworks would bankrupt us!
Queen Cleopatra: (petulantly) Why can’t we make our own? Our scientists are the most advanced in the world…
Me: (ruefully shaking my head) My Queen, we lack a basic ingredient necessary for the manufacture of fireworks- Saltpeter, and the cost to acquire it would surely bankrupt the treasury.
Queen Cleopatra: (stomping her foot) I command you to secure Saltpeter resources so I can have fireworks whenever I want!
Me: (thoughtfully rubbing my chin) Well, there ARE sources of Saltpeter right across the border with the Romans. Our generals feel a quick strike would secure the desert for Egypt. The Romans would never expect us to attack, as we’ve attempted to appease them for centuries.
Queen Cleopatra: (alarmed) War? Imhotep, we are a peace-loving people! Are you sure this is the best way?
Me: (straightening up) My Queen, the war will be short and decisive. We don’t seek the subjugation of all of Rome, merely the capture of a couple of frontier towns. We’ll also show the Romans that the Egyptians will not be bullied, perhaps they’ll cease their incessant demands upon our nation.
Queen Cleopatra: (sighs) Try not to kill Caesar, OK? He’s kind of cute…
Thus started the First Latin War, the one our Queen likes to call the Great Fireworks War when she’s in a good mood, and Imhotep’s Great Blunder when she wants to tweak my nose.
I shall not talk of the early years of our nation. Suffice to say that our people flourished from our early beginnings farming the Nile's rich lands, spreading out across our continent, bringing civilization to a rough land.
Let us talk instead of the first great challenge to our nation. I speak of- the First Latin War.
But first, a little history I need to pass on for the story to make sense.
The Romans occupied the far half of our continent. I had always been certain to be friendly with the only neighbors to share our landmass. There was brief tension after initial contact as we rushed to secure the rich gem mines of the Asyut Jungle from the encroaching Roman settlers. A string of frontier towns, Asyut, Pithom, and Busiris secured the border for the Everlasting Queen, and we settled down to the business of building up our infrastructure.
It was with great dismay that we discovered no sources of iron or horses within our borders, though our nation stretched from the Roman lands in the East, to the subcontinent of Kyushu we shared with the Japanese and Rus across the Western sea. Not even the Queen's resort island of Mendes contained so much as a scrap of iron. As we were a peaceful people, I determined at the time that we would make do without these resources and trade for them. Horses were secured from the Chinese in return for the secrets of Monarchy, and we built as many War Chariots as we could while the horses arrived. Oddly enough, our horse trainers never could figure out how to breed the horses...
But I digress. With our Chariots as a strategic reserve, I garrisoned our cities with Spearman and Archers and hoped for the best.
Time went on. Our people continued to advance in science and culture. Temples were erected in all cities, dedicated to Osiris, or Horus, or Bast- whichever god the city was patron to. Marketplaces, Harbors, Cathedrals- Egyptian cities boasted them all. Several Rus cities, lured by the peace and prosperity of Egypt, overthrew their oppressors and joined us. We welcomed them with open arms, as truly all the peoples of earth are Children of the Nile.
The Romans, meanwhile, were making nuisances of themselves. They constantly probed our border, testing our resolve to defend ourselves. Caesar would call upon the Undying Queen, and make the most ridiculous demands (though truth be told I believe he was quite smitten with our beautiful Queen and sought these audiences merely to gaze upon her). I did my best to blunt the Roman advances, but it was clear that eventually we'd face the Romans in open conflict for the supremacy of our continent.
What wasn't clear was how quickly things would come to a head.
Already lacking Iron and Horses, our economy took another hit when our Sages discovered both Gunpowder and the utter lack of any Saltpeter within Egypt. Frantically scanning mineral reports from across the globe, my eyes fell upon the Libyan desert, just across the border in the Roman Empire. There were two deposits near the Roman desert town of Ravenna. My eyes drifted a little further south, deeper into Roman territory. There was an Iron deposit in the hills above the Roman port city of Antium. The beginnings of a plan was formulating in my mind...
Dealing with the Queen is mildly frustrating most of the time, and incredibly frustrating the rest of the time. She leaves the day-to-day minutiae of running the state to me, and is content to soak up the adoration of the people for a job (MY job) well done. One never knows what mood she’ll be in at any given time. I love her dearly though, she has been the one constant in my life for over 5000 years. We are both Blessed of Osiris, granted immortal life on this world. I could never leave her side, even though she drives me crazy most days.
I set it up perfectly, if I must say so myself. In honor of the Queen’s 5650th birthday, I arranged for a spectacular display of Russian fireworks in the skies over Thebes. The Queen was enthralled by the show, demanding that I supply fireworks for all future celebrations. Our exchange:
Queen Cleopatra: (awestruck) Those, what do you call them, fire-works? Are absolutely beautiful. We simply must make use of them more often.
Me: (much hand wringing) But, my Grace, the cost of these Russian fireworks is astronomical! I of course spared no expense for your birthday, but a steady supply of fireworks would bankrupt us!
Queen Cleopatra: (petulantly) Why can’t we make our own? Our scientists are the most advanced in the world…
Me: (ruefully shaking my head) My Queen, we lack a basic ingredient necessary for the manufacture of fireworks- Saltpeter, and the cost to acquire it would surely bankrupt the treasury.
Queen Cleopatra: (stomping her foot) I command you to secure Saltpeter resources so I can have fireworks whenever I want!
Me: (thoughtfully rubbing my chin) Well, there ARE sources of Saltpeter right across the border with the Romans. Our generals feel a quick strike would secure the desert for Egypt. The Romans would never expect us to attack, as we’ve attempted to appease them for centuries.
Queen Cleopatra: (alarmed) War? Imhotep, we are a peace-loving people! Are you sure this is the best way?
Me: (straightening up) My Queen, the war will be short and decisive. We don’t seek the subjugation of all of Rome, merely the capture of a couple of frontier towns. We’ll also show the Romans that the Egyptians will not be bullied, perhaps they’ll cease their incessant demands upon our nation.
Queen Cleopatra: (sighs) Try not to kill Caesar, OK? He’s kind of cute…
Thus started the First Latin War, the one our Queen likes to call the Great Fireworks War when she’s in a good mood, and Imhotep’s Great Blunder when she wants to tweak my nose.
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