Return to Atlantis

[joe08536]

Wasn't sure , but thanks

I plan to develop sort of linear plotlines but some characters needed to be introduced. The scene with the old veteran was actually inspired by a Robin Williams joke of all things. Otherwise, time will tell if this is a story too long.

Thanks,

Joe08536

[unscratchedfoot]

Keep the goods coming.

[ChrisiusMaximus]

Its going great Joe keep the goods coming

[joe08536]

On Preserving the State

The Imperial caravan made its way down the main streets of Babylon, The Emperor himself was touring the country and as the fates would have it the Hero Trajan will be honored as a son of Babylon and as he passed, he turned to the other on his side [my friend and Master] and said quietly as they passed the cheering crowds “There is a noticeable absence of young men in the crowds, this war may yet be the ruin of us…”

“…this most recent news from the front is the greatest news we can have, in all of the chronicles of Atlantis, there will be tales of the heroes against such impossible odds! All of the Sons of the City of Babylon are celebrated here both those departed and those who still fight for our victory but we celebrate also for the Hero Trajan, now among us , the Hero of Zimbabwe, The fastest Imperial couriers, bring us this news and more on heroism and great feats of courage and bravery demonstrated by our sons in battle. Glory to Atlantis. Glory to her citizens. Victory and Glory to her soldiers!” A raucous cheer went up from the crowds gathered before the dinner festival and the victory drums and banners started and the festival began! As the emperor raised his arms towards the crowds with Trajan in attendance there would be questioned answered this night.

This a simple statement of fact to the assembled crowds in attendance at the court functions in Babylon, showed all in attendance that the Emperor too, was able to work the crowd over, a second fleeting appearance some time later by the Emperor was enough to send the crowd assembled into ecstatic song and dance for nearly the rest of the night.


The court protocol called for the Governor to meet privately with his Excellency.

“As Governor of the city, you may switch production and should lay works for Colonists and Settlers here and have word sent to Aurelius immediately, for if the words of Trajan are true then the days of the Zulu and Great Zimbabwe itself are numbered…and in very small numbers I might add and you can be assured that support from Aurelius will be forthcoming in the form of workers to plough the fields and build the mines you have requested.”

Excerpt from “Proceedings of the Court at Babylon , Volume II”, 1625b.

1650 bc - It is intolerable. That the "great" leader Trajan is unable to formulate the way of making the Army without consulting one of the governors of the cities. My fortunate arrival on my tour was something of a surprise to Trajan and the Govenor, I might add. He [Trajan] has said he needs the resources here to plan the logistics, My concern is that the return from the front all the way to Babylon seems more than a little unnecessary from over the mountains all the way back from the Zululand. All the while the destruction of Great Zimbabwe itself awaits, I have been repeatedly assured is simply a matter of time. Intelligence reports read a riot indicating Barbarians as well as the fact that the damnable Zulus' have made up at least 3 daughter cities in the space of our attacks and even now are sending more accursed Impi soldiers towards our forward troops. I’m told the fast moving Impi are formidable only in their ability to withstand attack and make two leagues travel in the space of time it takes our warriors or archers to cover one.

This focus on the war while ridding us of the accursed Zulu's will rob us also of our destiny in the sciences which may show us truly the way from fighting such drawn battles in the future. How formidable an empire would we have had we never met the Zulu’s?

Private Memoirs, At Babylon – Joseph of Aurelius

1625 bc - The Emperor nearly ran his pace from the court functionary in the Governor’s Palace and started speaking before actually arriving “It has been said you needed the resources of the city to plan the logistics and the nature of this new creation, this Army.” There was an impatience, almost as he said this, Trajan could tell rather instantly that the Emperor was far more formidable in person then he had thought and dealing with him would be more difficult than imagined, his intelligence sources should have been better.

The Emperor came and faced the Army – it seemed to him then merely a collection of logistics officers and couriers and support staff as there were no actual troops within the Army, “It is quite impressive, this Army of yours could be almost everything you said. We had our reservations but we will say that it stands before us and seems a most capable tool in the greater glory of Atlantis.” – It had occurred to the Emperor that to say “Our greater glory” just then, but that seemed inappropriate somehow, too pompous a statement for such a critical facility of the state as this.

Trajan : “Your Excellency, With this Army we can go forth into battle and defeat the strongest of enemies assuredly. Should the Zulus acquire an Army like this for themselves, armed with the fearsome Impi soldiers, there would be much to fear from them.…”, just then the Emperor turned abruptly to face Trajan.
“As it stands, General, you have been responsible for the greatest reduction of that likelihood. You are also responsible for the greatest increase in the morale of the people and the soldiers since the outbreak of the war, so very long ago. For this you have our gratitude.”, he said staring implacably, nearly through the General. “Oh, and one more, small imposition General. [turning now, back towards the new Army] There is talk here and in court in Aurelius that your victories should be chronicled in an Epic Tale. While such vanities are generally to be shunned, These scribes and couriers you see with me [The Emperor motioning behind himself now] are here to assure that the name Trajan and your victories go down in Atlantean history. We will impose this small condition so that your loyalty and service to the people may not be forgotten to the ages. In this way, it serves and inspires the people in the years ahead. Good luck and best speed, may the fates be with you and your Army in your attack upon Great Zimbabwe”, Trajan, stepped back from the embrace of the Emperor , saluted and turned towards the new Army.

Excerpt from “Proceedings of the Court at Babylon , Volume II”, 1625b.

[joe08536]

“A war within a war”

“Phygenia, my dear, Come back from the walls”, The Governor of Babylon said as just then, the attacking Impi troops, pounded yet again on the walls of the city. The emergency fortifications for the Counselors and the Governor now as it happened also contained the Emperor himself.

The Emperor looked haggard, in the same way that Trajan had early after his arrival. Turning towards the Governor now and saying “We must not allow this siege to continue too long”, as if by saying this he could will the vile Impi soldiers away. It had been hoped that the fasted couriers had escaped to Claudius and Aurelius but it would be some time before reinforcements would arrive.

Phygenia gathered herself into her fathers lap and started to whimper as another great pounding shook the walls of the city. “Governor, I think it is fair to say, that the armed forces have the best interests of the armed forces at heart…Would you agree with me on this much?”, the Emperor turned his haggard person towards the Governor as another pounding hit the walls , much harder and louder than the last few barrages.

There were all manner of the population present, tradesmen, mothers, men of medicinal arts, children and perhaps most importantly the small ragtag group of soldiers, former warriors, recently decommissioned. The betrayal was clear enough, there was too much of a condition of co-incidental circumstances to leave any other conclusion. These men have been banded together and would have to hold the city until the re-enforcements from Aurelius, thought the Emperor as he sat next to the Governor.

Governor Baradine turned towards the Emperor now and without saying a word, it passed between the two men that the Governor was no longer “unclear” as to his loyalties. “My Excellency, we’ve nothing but these few men against the Impi warriors, he started then to nearly cry and said at long last, We have been betrayed, haven’t we?”, turning his large ungainly form, now more fully towards the Emperor, the Emperor said only “Yes” and then looked back upon the crowd gathered in the keep of the citizens and rose and moved to be among them, returning shortly thereafter saying “It is a horrible thing, isn’t it, [turning and facing the Governor] that we cannot defeat our enemy without absolutely needing men, such as those, that would allow such a thing to befall their own people.”

Later in earliest hours of the morning came the horrible breach of the Keep, the Impi hadn’t attacked the far side of the city, they knew exactly where the keep was and that most of the citizenry would be there. The breach was high and while accurate in it’s basic location did not provide ready access to the interior of the keep and was quite difficult to traverse. Nearly everyone who was able carried a stick or a blade or a staff, and now the citizens and soldiers had gathered with the personal guard of the Emperor and stood and fought against the damnable spear throwing Impi warriors. As they clashed and were rebuffed, a contingent of the Impi threw their spears into the citizenry as they retreated. Impaling many where they stood or as they turned, the carnage of the people was awful, blood and screaming and chaos ruled then as there was but only cover and no place to hide and no place to go.

The Emperor himself had grabbed his personal sword and went down towards the soldiers, who had formed in groups of men that the Impi could not seem to penetrate. Most of the soldiers were not so well armed as he and as he shed his Imperial clothes and down to light ½ cassock and leggings and mail, he thought that this might be the end of his reign but at least, I did not die without fighting for my people. Turning to one of the mailed men with a long heavy club he saw that the bearer of the club was a mere girl and not even of age 10 or so, merely a year or two older than the daughter of the Governor. Seeing it was too late to remove her from the area where the battle was coming to, "He turned and winked at her, she smiled back with a nearly toothless grin and he gave her his mail placed his hand upon her head and said "Youre strength is your size, hide like the mouse and strike when the do not see you.". At this he called the soldiers in earshot to form ranks and prepare to repel borders. The final fight for Babylon was at hand.

The Emperor’s men and the veterans formed the main force of the guard and they repelled the main body of the Impi, some with clubs, and staffs the others taking spears and turning themselves back on the Zulu’s.

The Emperor had cut down two Impi as they ran forward to impale and were themselves impaled. The first of them narrowly missed impaling the Emperor himself on the long broad blade of his spear, The turn of his sword was just under the calf of the oncoming Impi and there was a horrific letting of blood, from the Zulu’s upper thigh, and this slicked the rocks of the area where the other Zulus’ were coming up behind him. This caused a simple accident of another soldier practically falling onto the emperor’s sword but not before cutting and jabbing at the emperor, piercing his arm with the blade of the spear, slipping as he withdrew and pulled back for a final stab. It was then that the emperor was able to basically put his sword where the Zulu was falling, and they fell together, one man lived the other died.

The carnage of the morning gave way to a stalemate as the Impi retreated as their numbers were depleted from the decimating attack. The soldiers of Atlantis fell back into their defensive positions and were able to gather their wounded, among them, a young girl somehow wearing the Emperor’s personal mail! She was lacerated across her mid-section from her hip across to under her left breast and she was billeted along side the Emperor himself, he turned to ask her how she was and he could tell, as she lay there and clung to her club, that she had aged then and there, and as the Emperor noted a tuft of hair and skin from an edge of the club which clearly was not Atlantean he saw this girl a strange mix of blooded veteran and still innocent child, he turned towards her and winked, and the toothless smile was not returned but she leaned over to hug the him and cried herself to sleep instead.

The morning of the third day, found the Impi preparing a second assault when from the west a sudden cry went up and screaming was heard amongst the men in the Zulu forces, a detachment of Archers from Aurelius had made double time and vanquished the vile Zulu. The second siege of Babylon was over.

Excerpt from “Proceedings of the Court at Babylon”, 1600 bc.

The contingent of Archers stood upon the wall of the City looking down upon the valley and east towards the mountains and now looking in from time to time towards the assembly of all of the citizens, “Looking out upon the citizens of this great city of Atlantis….I find myself looking into the crowd and here and there seeing faces of those I fought next to just a few days before. Daughters, Sons, Mothers, Veteran and Citizen alike fought for their right to be Atlantean.” [The Emperor turned to look back upon the assembled court, the Governor, who’s beloved daughter Phygenia had been mortally impaled by one of the Zulu spears and had been put upon the pyre of the dead just the night before.], Standing now and holding his arm which still throbbed and bled from time to time whenever he moved it. Stepping forward from the podium he spoke to the crowd, “the couriers have left to all the armed forces bearing news of the siege here and will be told, that there is no quarter, that our forces are to give battle wherever possible and to wipe them [the Zulus] out, no Zulu will breath air freely. [the crowd cheered] We will have our retribution and our Armies will bring justice to their cities and destroy them utterly. [the crowd cheered even more loudly] Twice now it has occurred that Babylon suffered at the hands of the despicable Zulu’s, I pledge there will be no third time. [the crowd cheered a third time not so loudly as the last] Food caravans and workers will be arriving shortly from Aurelius and Claudius and they will stay until we have repaired the damage to the city as well as build up the countryside. As soon as possible, I have instructed the Governor to make preparations for a colony to be founded on the far side of the Badlands, this new city will become the Capital which will be moved from Aurelius, which is the 1st city, but which should now be enshrined with the title of cultural and historical capital of our people. A new Fortune for our people will be had in this colony and I should hope to see many familiar faces at my new court in Fortuna! [the crowd broke into cheering as the emperor returned to the dais] a second feast was held but not so raucous as in the previous weeks and perhaps it was just as well.


Excerpt from “Proceedings of the Court at Babylon”, 1600 bc.

Shortly after Trajan’s Army left the city, they took with them the city guard to help themselves across the frontier of the Diamond Mountains. It was an honorific in the trust of the new Army that The Governor and the Emperor made together and it was fitting – perhaps that they were now soon to be sieged upon with only a band his personal guard for protection. An Impi informant captured in the Badlands was given the location of the keep and it was only a short time before he expected a courier from Babylon recalling them to the vanquished city for their “Protection”. It was then with some dismay to receive the much anticipated courier with stories of siege and victory, The emperor himself had led the troops of old and retired veterans had served nobly in the past and all but some of the most infirmed came to the Emperor personally at the first sign of the Impi soldiers on the outskirts of the City.
His new orders came also, They were terse and to the point, to divert from Zimbabwe and discover and destroy the source of the Impi which had attacked from along the shores of Babylon, destroy any remnant of Zulu civilization. His plan was not working, he quietly there and then decided to follow his orders, his time would come again, patience would be his ally , and fortunately, he would have the opportunity to destroy any remnants of his - indiscretions.

“Private Memoirs of the Zulu Campaigns”, Trajan

[ChrisiusMaximus]

Great stuff, I particually like the way youve developed Trajans character. It will be interesting to see how his plotting develops

[vovan]

Second what Chrisius said.

Quality engaging writing - lookig forward to seeing what happens next.

[ChrisiusMaximus]

More Please

[joe08536]

“The Fall of Great Zimbabwe”

Great Zimbabwe, The name strikes fear in the green soldiers and even some of the veterans, thought the newest arrival of the Archer corps.

Ichian Hyerdan came from a long line of fighters for the cities and was proud when he swore allegiance to the Emperor, here coming off the steppe of Claudius to the shores of Lake Zambezi…"We saw in the last few weeks how the fear could be so, the great stone edifices that comprised not just the walls but many circles of walls in the city. The siege – I thought to myself might never end. None of the troops in my group had not eaten in some days, since the last time the food caravan had been by but it was attacked – or so we had heard, further down the line and so now they we were, hungry and tired and had not but water for nearly 4 days. "

"It was early in the morning and stomach had gotten the better of me and my men , one of my men and I decided to try and scale the walls as they could see no Zulu’s at all and had not heard of any since nearly 3 days before at this part of the wall, as we started a far patrol, it was then that I spied a small crevasse. [Just wide enough for myself and perhaps some of the smaller men in the contingent], I thought then.

After looking clear through the walls to the insides of the city, I scampered down the rocks towards the encampment and ran to speak with the master at arms, who agreed, but said, "the fog off of the Zambezi would be lifting soon...and whatever we do, should be done as soon as possible.", the shortest and the smallest of the men were selected, and we returned to the crevasse up on the wall, and each of us in turn would move up against the wall and towards the opening.

Before we left the encampment, we were told by the master at arms that the weapons were to be drawn only if and and once each of us had stolen into the city, we could secure a small area and from there we should throw ropes over the walls and the others would scale the walls, into the city. This continued until nearly the whole of two groups of Archers had stolen their way into the city. Small two man teams were sent to see where all the Zulu’s had gone.

The city was designed like a great maze with another wall just inside the one they had just scaled and crawled through.

I was paired with the youngest among us, a Joran of Aurelius and we headed into one of the wide alleyways between the outer wall and an inner wall just as great in size,[as the outer]. We travelled some distance and were about to turn back, but it was just then that we saw some huddled ragged figures in the mist, Joran moved closer towards what we thought were figures in the mist and we both started drawing our bows and moving through the mist and nearly running forward. One of the Zulu’s must have stumbled as Joran fired his arrow into the mist, it was then that we heard it hit it’s mark and heard a fall ahead. But it was an odd sound, it was almost as if it had hit rock, and then someone fell.

Joran then moved further into the mist and saw that there was an emaciated boy not more than a few weeks younger than Joran himself but easily 30 stone
lighter. He had been shot in his rump and calf but clearly it could be seen that his arrow had missed and hit the wall and then hit the now crying and huddled Zulu citizen.

It occurred to us both then that the Zulu’s must have had no food at all since nearly the siege began. As we now knelt over their crumpled and crying enemy I, turned back towards our original track and drew my bow and moved further along the inside of the wall, and then noticed another crumpled figure, of a young Zulu woman, even worse off then the young man. It was then that I heard the master of arms call from behind us and said to "Round up the prisoners", we have found no resistance and we have found passages through the walls. Bring her now… Joran and I lifted the two starved souls from where they lay and moved them towards a group of Zulu's who had been captured and were being guarded.

It was then we were able to take the city, Not by some brilliant strategy but because I was hungry.

Nearly 1000 citizens of the city were found and all were in a wretched and unhealthy state. Dysentery and the stench of death hung over our victory. We all laid these people out and brought food up from behind the lines. I spent nearly two weeks simply overseeing the movement of food caravans from across the badlands to these new workers for the empire while tending to the ill and infirmed.

There were only two points of protest during the occupation of the city; one was an Impi contingent, which put some fierce resistance when we went to occupy the Palace at Great Zimbabwe itself. It was there that we lost nearly one whole contingent of Archers, the injuries were quite severe and even though I myself was not among them the Impi that were there [so I was told] died to a man defending the Palace, the second instance, curiously, was when we went to put the sickest of the Zulu workers in the Palace for better shelter from the deplorable state of the rest of the city.

Excerpt from “Zambezi : The Lake of Sorrows, Doctor of the Humours Ichian Hyerdan , Dioclesian Press”

The walls of the city have held but the people they are to protect have all but starved from within. The granaries had been lit afire some weeks back and there had been no food since. The strongest of the Impi tried to stop an Atlantean food caravan the other day , which they said had riches of our lands and was heavy with the bounty of bread and meat and drink but they were only able to kill the men of the caravan and not seize the food. We have been ordered to abandon the sick and diseased of the City and make for Baepedi in the night. I wish the glories of our city to last a thousand years and that the Atlanteans know the pride with which we have built our city which will be built again in the new Capital of Baepedi.

Chronicle of Former Governor Ulambesei,
Excerpt from “The Stones meet the Waters, Stories from Behind the Walls of Great Zimbabwe,
Dioclesian Press”.

[ChrisiusMaximus]

good stuff please keep it coming

[vovan]

Very cool stuff.

One little style suggestion, if I may. You are using quite a bit of pronouns, and they get a little over the top sometimes. One can understand what you mean, but it sort odetracts from the enjoyment a little. Point in case. Consider the following paragraph, which I broke up into sentences and emphasized the pronouns:

It was just then that we saw some huddled ragged figures in the mist, I and the man to my left, Joran of Aurelius moved closer as we started drawing their bows and moving through the mist.

That seems to be a little inconsistent... We started drawing their bows?

One of the Zulu’s must have stumbled and Joran fired his arrow into the mist, it was then that he heard it hit it’s mark and heard him fall.

The use of he, his, and him is quite ambiguous here. Though it is understandable that Joran shot an arrow and then heard his mark fall, it just doesn't read quite right.

But it was an odd sound, it was almost as if it had hit rock, Joran then moved further into the mist and saw that there was an emaciated boy not more than a few weeks younger than he but easily 30 stone lighter. Shot in his rump but clearly it could be seen that his arrow had missed and hit the wall and then hit the now crying huddled Zulu.

Again, ambiguity between his rump and his arrow. Like above, it is understandable that the rump belongs to the Zulu, and the arrow belongs to Joran, but it just doesn't sound like quality writing we've seen from you before.

As a disclaimer I would like to add that with the above criticisms, I by no means am trying to be rude or discouraging. On the contrary, I hope you receive it in good spirit and improve your writing even further. (I always feel bad about criticizing people's style, because we've had a few rather heated arguments about this in the past and people got quite upset. But again, I mean this to be taken as friendly advice. )

[ChrisiusMaximus]

Very good advice too Vovan

It is ever so easy to get jumbled when you start typing, I usually have to edit the posts I make in my stories due to the numerous spelling mistakes. Funny thing is I am quite good at spelling but a bit of an arse at typing. Most of the time it simply hitting the wrong key or two keys at a time.

I agree with Vovan that your use of words is a little confused in places but I still understand the story. If you get chance go back and fine tune your posts in edit mode it will make all the difference.

Its a great story Joe so keep up the good work

[joe08536]

Apologies

My apologies, I posted at some unGodly hour with this last post and was not happy with my original draft which was entirely in third person and I tried at like 3 am to change it to a sort of first person narrative - and pretty clearly missed my mark.

[joe08536]

In the counsel of the Fates

Counselor Oberera Theodorius, [Minister of Culture] tall and dark skinned from the lands far east of Aurelius the minister turned his aquiline features towards the council and stood from his dais, “…the question still remains…and now it has risen to the attention of the council, a matter which must be brought before the emperor”, He said, his voice impassioned and with as much physical emphasis as he could muster, This cannot be a matter of debate, we are not talking about a trivial matter here…”

Counselor Maximus Pompeii, [Minister of War] cut him off in mid sentence turning abruptly from his dais and not standing but leaning over the great marble slab, which separated the ministers, “This is nonsense!!! This is war and in war the E N E M Y [slowing down to make sure everyone understood his meaning, but turning towards the Domestic and Cultural ministers] must be destroyed [pausing only long enough to assess the reaction across the room]…utterly! WE did not start this war but WE will finish it!”

Counselor Dominicia Hyanda, [Minister of Domestic Affairs] placidly looked about the room and turned to the Minister of Culture and motioned for him to return to his dais, she was ready then, to pounce. “We cannot debate this any longer, and we will not bring this to the attention of the Emperor…To do so would imply that we are nothing more than institution of rhetoric and offer nothing of value to his Excellency but official disturbance and bother. [turning and suddenly changing from a placid form to one of stony resolve]…Clearly this is a domestic matter, workers/slaves/prisoners, save but the last are unarguably a matter for my authorities [turning then and leaning over the marble tableau and facing the whole of the other Counselors, looking at each one], My authority in these matters is no more a subject of debate than if I were to posit some new strategy for you. [Turning abruptly to the War Minister and focusing her whole being upon him.] So as I’m sure _you_ would be perfectly willing to do, I will take your “suggestion” under advisement but this matter is closed. And on the matter of prisoners, we are obviously in dire need of new workers so again clearly, they will be “rehabilitated” to workers of Atlantis. Of course if anyone feels, that dead workers are somehow of more benefit to Atlantis than live ones…I, for one, would be more than happy to debate THAT subject with the Emperor.”, returning now towards her dais in her implacably placid manner.

Excerpted from the “coded” volumes [Sequestered Quorums of the Couselors],
Counsel of the Fates, Volume IXX by Suetonius Junsa of Claudius,
Official Chronicler for the Domestic Advisor, Dominicia Hyanda,

My mistakes in the Zulu Campaigns were many, but perhaps the most grievous was the matter of what to do with them [the Zulus'] , The matter of the animals [Zulu’s] is clearly one of my own to address. Hyanda and the other insufferable weaklings of the council speak only for those high academicians in the towers of the city and knows nothing of war. There profound lack of understanding in these matters cannot be adequately described, and certainly not understated. I should never have brought the matter to the Council.

Counselor Maximus Pompeii, Minister of War
Recovered from under the Crucible of Heros

[unscratchedfoot]

Re: In the counsel of the Fates