Iberian Spirit House

[History Guy]

High Priest, one last matter.

My daughter, Margarita, is to be married to the son of Floris Petro Olstone of the Iberian Delights Tavern. Would you be available to perform the ceremony and say the blessing?

Hernan de History Guy Calamari II
Squid Baron,
But Most Importantly,
A Priest of the Sacred Flame of Madrid
Assistant to High Priest Francisco Pizarro Tacticus, The Holiest Man on the Face of the Planet

[GeneralTacticus]

I request the high priest a ceremonial burial for my recent deceased son, Henrique Winterius. May it be as expensive as needed, and sumptuous as possible.
Cough cough... age is coming for me too....

We shall see to it tonight, if you bring the body to the Shrine. The essential objects required are all rpvoided by the Priesthood, but you are welcome to provide food and drink for the mourners, or provide offerings to the spirits on behalf of your son.

High Priest, I shall also make arrangements for the soon-to-be funeral of my soon-to-be late father, who is advanced of age, and will no doubt be soon killed in the next waterfall drop, or so. I have prepared a tomb for him, though, on the family estate. He requested it personally, and so I have seen to it. A beautiful spot, under his beloved peach trees. The blossoms will fall upon his sepulchre in the Autumn. I cannot bare to think of it.

Very well. You will need to contruct a funeral pyre within the tomb, then, or else you may want to build one outside and then inter the ashes within it. It is your decision to make, or that of your father.

High Priest, one last matter.

My daughter, Margarita, is to be married to the son of Floris Petro Olstone of the Iberian Delights Tavern. Would you be available to perform the ceremony and say the blessing?

Most certainly. Give your daughter my congratulations.

Now, there is one other matter: that of the trial. I will allow one more day for any further defence or comments to be offered regarding the case, and if none are forthcoming, then I will have to declare Senor jdjdjd guilty and burn him at the stake.

[jdjdjd]

Anyone....

Supreme Leader Togas?

Vice-Supreme Leader Arnelos?

Anyone....

[History Guy]

I thank you. I have prepared the amphorae in which to place his ashes, and the special items for the afterlife, including his clothing, rings, books, etc. I shall also bring to his tomb squid daily.

As for my daughter, I thank you again. You understand all things. You should see the cake I had baked it for her, it's soooo tall! And, of course, the first piece will go to you, sir. Also, I donate to you a bull for sacrifice tomorrow instead of the usual six sheep. I also have for you a steak and calamari platter, and a jug of wine. Thank you again, Your Holiness.

As for Senor Jdjdjd, he is a heretic! I only pray that he is not more...a demoniac!

Hernan de History Guy Calamari II
Assistant Priest to His Holiness

[GeneralTacticus]

Anyone....

Supreme Leader Togas?

Vice-Supreme Leader Arnelos?

Anyone....

Time's up... and you STILL haven't tried to defend yourself!

GUILTY!

Guards! Take him to centre of Madrid and stack up the fuel for a fire. We will burn him at the stake after we finish the necessary rituals and give time for the people to come and watch.

[Arnelos]

I guess once Togas okays the execution, we'll have our first one (assuming the elder Señor Calamari doesn't die first on the rocks)

[Nuclear Winter]

Here is it,high priest, 30 jugs of wine and 100 squids for sacrifice in the name of my brother. Also, here are 40 bones to cover any expense you amy have.

[Togas]

Cries appealing this judgement have been heard at Casa del Togas, but the old man sat silently in his chair, his mind seemingly lost in thought, eyes closed, head shaking slightly.

His son, Enero, inquired with is father about the death of the famous drunkard but Togas refused to answer directly. After some prodding and a little pleading from the young Despot to his father, Togas finally growled out a command for him to sit, so that he might explain...

Son. This is a matter for the priests, not a despot. If I must act to confirm the ruling of the High Priest, then I must, but it gives me no satisfaction to see a man burned, and gives me even less satisfaction to go against the will of our wise High Priest.

If this matter is pressed further, do not deny the High Priest his authority. If this man is to be burned, then it will be so. You are to speak kindly of this man at the ceremony and ensure that his family is provided for. By doing so we both show respect for his family, for our traditions and culture, and for our relgious leaders.

--Togas

[jdjdjd]

Senorita Beatriz S. Muybonita, storms into the Spirit House her three sons in tow and falls at the knees of the High Priest, her huge breasts heaving from the ordeal. He stares at her in astonishment and lust. The three children, Niño age 10, Pinto age 9, and jdjdjd, jr age 8., gather around her, all in tears. The three children are the sons of jdjdjd and the beautiful señorita their mother, though the two have never wed.

She pleads with His Eminence, "Please your Holiness, please spare Señor jdjdjd. He is the father of my sons, and they will need him soon, as the soothsayers only give me a short time to live. The children must be cared for, and he must do it."

"The stories he tells of these gods, are mere abberations created from the horrible squid and cactus spirits he drinks so often, and not from the demons."

Please sir, please spare him"

She breaks down in sobs uncontrollably, as do the three children.

Suddenly, jdjdjd breaks free from the arms of the guards escorting him to the center of town, and runs to her.

No, Beatriz, it can't be true. How will the children live without.
He sobs for a moment, then jdjdjd stands and faces the High Priest

Sir, I renounce the gods of Olympus, they mean nothing to me. It was the spirited drink that made me talk of them. I promise to never touch the drink again.

A scream is heard in the back of the room, as Señor Olstorñe, owner of the Iberian Delight, regrets the possible loss of his best customer.

The High Priest contemplates these developments.

Enero, son of Lord Togas, runs to the palace to tell his father of the news.

Is this the end of our hero?

Stayed tuned.

[pikesfan]

Originally posted by jdjdjd
Senorita Beatriz S. Muybonita, storms into the Spirit House her three sons in tow and falls at the knees of the High Priest, her huge breasts heaving from the ordeal. He stares at her in astonishment and lust.

“Ah, men,” murmurs aged Aunt Esmeralda as she leans on Joaquína Pikesfan, new proprietress of the Esmeralda Pikesfan School of Etiquette for Young Ladies, as they walk back home. “They are only interested in one thing, or make that two things. And alas, those men who are not interested in two things turn out to be only interested in one thing. Men, men, men, they’re all alike, whether they eat squid or beef. —The only nice one was dear Ronní. He was always such a good boy.— We must break this to our pupils somehow so it doesn’t disillusion them later. Look at me, a respectable woman who worships all the spirits properly and could have kept a nice comfortable house with good cooking for him, but along comes a heretic drunkard’s wife who happens to have big tetas [OOC: Oliverfa, I need a mild slangy word for breasts, the kind an angry, yet respectable old woman would use.] and he forgets about everything he preaches. Let’s see him try to have those for dinner tonight.”

“Yes, Aunt Esmeralda,” says Joaquína, as she thinks to herself, “My goodness, the old woman is behaving so much like one of my love-struck teenage pupils, it’s embarrassing. Thank goodness she’s too old to teach.”

[Togas]

Perhaps the old drunkard has mended his ways. Perhaps it is too late for him. But such matters are beyond my worldly wisdom. I leave it to the spirits and our priests to decide.

Should he be burned and should this barwench die, his sons shall be carried for by Dejon's school for warriors.

--Togas

[GeneralTacticus]

The High Priest sits for a time and ponders the situation.

At last, he rises, and bangs his staff three times on the stone floor of his platform.

In view of Senor jdjdjd's statement that he renounces the gods of Olympus, I have decided to commute his death sentence - for now. If he remains observant of his promise, and worships the spirits as a devout Iberian, he will live - but if, at any point, he gives any indication that his promise is false, he will die, and there will be no mercy granted the next time.

Moreover, he must pass the test of fire and water, to ensure that he is not demonically tainted. Senor Hernan, I will allow you to perform this task, and if you do well, you will rise in the ranks of the Priesthood.

[GeneralTacticus]

Here is it,high priest, 30 jugs of wine and 100 squids for sacrifice in the name of my brother. Also, here are 40 bones to cover any expense you amy have.

Ah, thank you. I am sure the spirits will look kindly on him.

[jdjdjd]

The Senorits rises and kisses the hand of His Emminence, and then collapses.

The youngest of the children, jdjdjd II, with tears in his eyes, looks to his father and says, "What is this fire & water, padre?"

jdjdjd, the elder, looks at the High Priest, deferring the question to him.

[GeneralTacticus]

jdjdjd, the elder, looks at the High Priest, deferring the question to him.

You must be touched by a burning stick, to determine if you burn, and then must be hurled into the water, to see if you sink. IF you do not feel the flames, or if you float without swimming, then you are demonically tainted and must die.