Iberian Spirit House

[pikesfan]

Originally posted by GeneralTacticus
I am confused as to what exactly you wish me to do. Is your nephew deceased?

Oh Your Eminence,

I am your humble servant Esmeralda Pikesfan. My nephew was Ronní Pikesfan, who died so tragically.

Esmeralda Pikesfan
Duenna of the Respectable Maidens of Madrid

[GeneralTacticus]

Ah, I see. Do you still have his body? If you do not, I can still deliver a prayer on his behalf to the spirits, but little more than that. If, however, you can give the body to me for cermonial burial, then we will be able to cast spells to ensure his safe passage into the spirits world.

[Nuclear Winter]

Oh great Priest! Is the trial going to be here?
And also, many people want to see this trial, so I was thinking of selling Squid slices pots to the religious crowd watching as Señor jdjdjd is burnt, uhh, I mean jugded. Of course if your excelency allows and if it is not an offence to the spirits...

[jdjdjd]

Sanctuary! Sanctuary! To the Great Gods of Olympus, please save me from the hands of these mortals and show them the light!

Oh, and can someone loosen the chains around my waist - full bladder - you know how it is.

[History Guy]

The proof is in the pudding, as all Iberians say...

Here, you shall see that I sought the consultation of the High Priest, not of evil spirits!

[GeneralTacticus]

Oh great Priest! Is the trial going to be here?
And also, many people want to see this trial, so I was thinking of selling Squid slices pots to the religious crowd watching as Señor jdjdjd is burnt, uhh, I mean jugded. Of course if your excelency allows and if it is not an offence to the spirits...

Yes, it will be held here, as soon as I have time.

Sanctuary! Sanctuary! To the Great Gods of Olympus, please save me from the hands of these mortals and show them the light!

Oh, and can someone loosen the chains around my waist - full bladder - you know how it is.

* Commits statement to memory as further evidence of jdjdjd's heresy.

[GodKing]

so, just what is our prefered method of burrial?

imobilation (fire)
mummification
burrial, and if so, how
sending down river in rafts
leaving in sacrid grounds for the elements (animals)
so on and so forth.

Please, o holy one, enlighten us so that we may know our customs.

[GeneralTacticus]

Fire, as the light of the fire symbolizes the light of the spirit world.

[GeneralTacticus]

Very well, not that I actually have some time, we shall hold the trial of Senor jdjdjd.

* The High Priest snaps his fingers, and Senor jdjdjd is hauled in, surrounded by six heavily muscled guards.

We are here today to examine the charges against one Senor jdjdjd, and the evidence supporting them.

The Charges:

"Blasphemy, heresy, and possibly demonic pacts."

The Evidence:

Several statements from the defendant in which he admits to being a worshipper of foreign gods, including:

Sanctuary! Sanctuary! To the Great Gods of Olympus, please save me from the hands of these mortals and show them the light!

Which was made within the very walls of the Spirit House,

Please senor, do not bring down the wrath of the goddess Aphrodite, ruler of all lovers and lovemaking places. She has blessed this lovers lane, and I myself have taken the bar wench Senorita Beatriz S. Muybonita, there several times, as we drank abundantly and danced to the music of the night with only Artemis, the goddess of the moon in view.

If only you could know the power of Aphrodite, then you would know that even the War god, Ares, bows to her presence and would gladly bless your move of the training grounds from Lovers Field.

Made at the Training Ground, and,

I was saying may daily prayers to the great Poseidon near the river, and was drinking several bottles of my sacrificial cactus juice, when I was awoken by a loud noise. I looked across the river from where I was and saw a large man who looked like a bear, I beleive it was Senor Calamari, after having been turned into a bear-man, pursuant to a pact he made with the goddess of the forest, Artemis. Calamari had something large above his head, that looked like a bee hive, but clearly was Thug, who had been turned into a bee-hive-man by the goddess Demeter, in her attempt to thwart Artemis' pact with Calamari. The bee-hive-man, Thug, fell what was to his apparent death. I could not go after him, as suddenly out of no where, many bees were swarming and I had to take cover in a nearby mud puddle, which smelt oddly like bear dung.

This is the truth, as the god Poseidon is my witness.

At the trial of Senor Hernan de History Guy Calamari.

These statements reveal, without question, that Senor jdjdjd is a worshipper of foreign gods, especially when one considers that he is a self-proclaimed outsider. The onyl issue remaining is that of demonic pacts, but that can wait until later.

The defendant and general populace may now speak.

[pikesfan]

Originally posted by GeneralTacticus
Ah, I see. Do you still have his body? If you do not, I can still deliver a prayer on his behalf to the spirits, but little more than that. If, however, you can give the body to me for cermonial burial, then we will be able to cast spells to ensure his safe passage into the spirits world.

Here is the body of my uncle in a wooden box. We put it in there because he doesn’t look so good now. Will that be all right for “ceremonial burial”?

Jordí Pikesfan

[GeneralTacticus]

That will be fine. We shall take him to the funeral pyre and perform the ritual at sunset.

[mrmitchell]

The defendant and general populace may now speak.

Hrm, it's getting this bad...geez, the te--oh yeah. Gotta stay in character.

Well, I will speak. Senor Jdjdjd is obviously of an intent damaging to your intent. And as you are the High Priest, you have the right to punish those whose intents do not align with you. So, you are punishing people for their opinion.

Oops, I said too much, that's not going to look good...

[GeneralTacticus]

I'm not putting him trial for his opinion, I'm putting him on trial for being a heretic and posssibly a demonic pawn.

[pikesfan]

Originally posted by GeneralTacticus
That will be fine. We shall take him to the funeral pyre and perform the ritual at sunset.

Thank you, Your Eminence. Is there anything that I should do as new head of the Pikesfan family for the ritual? More to the point, is there anything my poor Great-Aunt Esmeralda can do? She is still very distraught and will wear nothing but black. Could you say some wise words to her?

Jordí Pikesfan

[OOC: How old is the High Priest? If he is elderly, it would be nice if there could be in our story. He could be very charmed by the demure respectability of Great-Aunt E., and courtly words could be exchanged and then dinners somewhere, though I don’t know where now that the Calamari family is in trouble, and then, no not the Lover’s Beach but suddenly he realizes as he sees the Despot’s children and grandchildren that being High Priest is a very lonely job and he needs someone to share the rest of his life with, i.e. matrimony, wouldn’t it be romantic? Besides, it would make us seem even more crazy and harmless to the other teams!

Though all this won’t work if Great-Aunt E. is older than the High Priest ]

[History Guy]

Heretics must be burned!