The Phalanx Editorial Office

[Maniac]

[Zeiter]

Here's a possible article that could explain our switch to power. Although it should probably be released only AFTER the invasion of Morgania.

------------

The results of the 2198 general election have been tabulated, and the citizens of the Spartan Federation have given a resounding "No!" to the agenda of the Sparta Reform Coalition, led by Colonel Googlie. The Sparta Reform Coalition (SRC) is known for its pro-military (yet pro-Morganite) foreign policy and pro-commerce domestic policy. While the SRC has had to compromise with the Federation Democratic Party (FDP) during its time as the ruling party of the Spartan Federation and institute a planned economy, it has made no effort to conceal its friendliness with the Morganite faction. In fact, analysts have speculated that this continued cooperation with the Morganites (what some have labeled “appeasement”) is what plunged its approval rating to record lows and forced the SRC to call a new election. The only region to still support the Sparta Reform Coalition with a plurality of votes was the Ironholm district. This comes as no surprise, considering that still roughly half of the residents of Ironholm are former Morganite citizens.

The big winner of this general election is the Federation Democratic Party (FDP). The FDP ran with a platform “national defense and economic security.” Its leadership has advocated an agenda of increased military expenditures, pre-emptive foreign intervention in order to defend national interests and ensure domestic security, and continued implementation of a planned economy, so as to “ensure adequate standards of living for all Spartan families and further develop the Spartan Federation’s essential industrial infrastructure.” Many have heralded the FDP’s skillful implementation of the planned economy as the primary reason for the dramatic population boom seen in the Spartan Federation in recent years. The FDP‘s increasing championing of the “pre-emptive military action” doctrine is rather different from its earlier stance of staunch isolationism. FDP party leaders cite as a reason for this the fact that the Spartan Federation has become a global power, and thus has global responsibilities. The FDP gathered pluralities in almost all of the Laconian districts, ousting the SRC in all of the west Laconian districts and strengthening its dominance in the Spartan “core-lands” surrounding Sparta Command. It is here that the so-called “Old Guard” of the Spartan leadership holds the most political influence. The “Old Guard” also has signficant influence in Fort Superiority, which has received significant funds from the FDP economic ministers for infrastructural development. The FDP also won a plurality in the Minas Tirith district, beating out the Federated Socialists who had been dominant there in the last election. The Federated Socialists’ programme of unification with the Hive has not found much support ever since the Hive launched its attack on the Spartan Federation some years ago and advanced on Minas Tirith, the Hive soldiers murdering and pillaging as they went. Fortunately, the brave defenders of Minas Tirith held the Hiverian hordes at bay, and today the city stands proudly as a symbol of the Spartan fighting spirit. Indeed, the Hiverian attacks spurred a wave of patriotism that is still strongly felt in the Minas Tirith region today. Minas Tirith has also benefited from the generous military contracts that the FDP economic ministers have bestowed upon the industries in Minas Tirith, which has created even more support there for the FDP.

Moreover, Laconia as a whole is one of the most populous regions of the Spartan Federation, and the FDP’s popularity in Laconia has helped the FDP secure a majority in the Spartan Federation as a whole.

The Faculty for a Free Arcadia (FFA) was the second most popular party in this years election. The FFA dominated in the areas formerly under University of Planet control. In recent years several North Arcadian cities have experienced rapid population growth, giving the FFA, whose support mainly comes from Northern Arcadia, an edge in the electoral arena.

In other developments, The Federated Socialists lost popularity in Twonuts Strand as well. Instead, the Industrial Workers of Planet (IWP), a syndicalist organization hostile to both the Hive and the Spartan Federation led by foreman Domai, achieved an overwhelming victory in the latest election, garnering some 70% of the vote. Workers cite the Hiverian incursions against the city of Twonuts Strand as reasons for rejecting the Socialist Federation and its programme of unification with the Hive and opting to vote for the IWP. Domai has been known to incite civil unrest among the drones of the Spartan Federation and call for strike actions that could have threatened Spartan military production. The Spartan high command is watching these developments closely.

The Green Chiron Party maintained its popularity in the Iaci district and made gains in the district near Hero’s Waypoint. There has reportedly been a greater than usual amount of native life activity near Hero’s Waypoint as of late, which has convinced many citizens there to pay more attention to the native life issue. In many of the former Peacekeeper districts the Peace and Freedom Party (PFP) dominated. The PFP has promoted an agenda of increased civil rights, peaceful foreign relations, and land reform aimed at restoring some of the rural South Arcadian lands to their original Peacekeeper owners. The most unexpected development in this election was the popularity in the districts of Defiance Freehold and Fort Sol of the South Arcadian Federation for Freedom of Information and Communication (SAFFIC). The group claims to be an ultra-libertarian wing of the PFP, but some officials in the Spartan high command suspect that SAFFIC is a front group for Data Angel subversives in Southern Arcadia. Androt McCurtney, an official in the Spartan high command, declared yesterday, “The Spartan Federation and the Data Angels are still at war. To promote the ideology of the enemy in a time of war is to give aid and comfort to the enemy, and, in my opinion, should be considered treasonous. The people of the Spartan Federation should not take lightly the prospect of Data Angel infiltration within our government. If we’re not careful, our government will soon be infested with those bloodthirsty anarchists whose sole aim is to spread chaos and destruction in our society and empower our enemy while hiding behind a smokescreen of “freedom of information and communication.” I urge all citizens to utterly reject the programme of SAFFIC and support my initiative to investigate suspected Data Angel subversives inside our government and entertainment industry. We can’t be too careful when dealing with these crazy anarchists. Better dead than purple, that’s what I say!” Some citizens voted for SAFFIC out of confusion. “I thought lesbian orgies were a part of SAFFIC’s political platform.” says one resident of Fort Sol. “Oh well, I guess I need to be more informed next time I vote and not jump to conclusions based on the acronyms of the political parties.” A SAFFIC spokesperson yesterday announced that, due to popular demand, SAFFIC is considering making lesbian orgies a part of its political platform.

In other news, at the post-election press conference in Sparta Command the FDP chairman accused the SRC chairman of obtaining funds from the GUH, a clandestine organization in league with the MDO and the RHC, which in turn are connected to the KIC and the VOR through a network of NGO’s and FV--aw, screw it! It’s too many initials! I can’t take it anymore!...


Election results:
Popular Vote:
Total: 91,133
Federation Democratic Party (FDP) - 47,563 (52.2%)
Faculty for a Free Arcadia (FFA) - 19,124 (21.0%)
Peace and Freedom Party (PFP) - 10,072 (11.1%)
Green Chiron Party (GCP) - 4,831 (5.3%)
Industrial Workers of Planet (IWP) - 3,696 (4.1%)
Sparta Reform Coalition (SRC) - 3,208 (3.5%)
South Arcadian Federation for Freedom of Information and Communication (SAFFIC) - 2,639 (2.9%)

District votes:
Total: 187
Federation Democratic Party (FDP) - 96
Faculty for a Free Arcadia (FFA) - 41
Peace and Freedom Party (PFP) - 22
Green Chiron Party (GCP) - 10
Industrial Workers of Planet (IWP) - 7
Sparta Reform Coalition (SRC) - 6
South Arcadian Federation for Freedom of Information and Communication (SAFFIC) - 5

[Zeiter]

Here's a pic we could post along with the election results:

[Zeiter]

Another article for the issue:

New Spartan Government Goes to War Against Morgan Industries!

The new FDP-led government has already endeavored to fulfill its campaign promises and immediately confront the Morganite threat. At a special address to the federation yesterday, Colonel Maniac Riviera stated, "No longer will our economic security be swayed to and fro by the whims of those bloated Morganite bankers. No longer will we have to look across the Buster Ocean with fearful eyes, knowing that the Morganites could attack ANY MINUTE. No longer will our military commanders be blinded by the yellow glare of the Morganite cities on their strategic vidboards. Now we approach the dawn of a new century, and it will be a Golden Dawn, yet a dawn without the GOLDEN MENACE! Long live the Spartan Federation!"

Immediately following the special address to the federation Colonel Maniac Riviera authorized military action to be taken against the Morganites. Colonel Maniac has stated that military operations against the Morganites will continue until the Morganites are "no longer a threat to the Spartan homeland (as deemed by the highly subjective opinion of the Spartan high command)."

[Zeiter]

Spartan Military Intelligence Reveals Morganite Planet Buster Development Program!

At a recent press conference of intelligence experts Spartan CRYPTEIA teams unveiled what they felt constituted a "grave and imminent threat" to the Spartan Federation.

CRYPTEIA Commander: "Several months ago Spartan infiltrators in the Morganite government discovered that the Morganite laboratories had made significant breakthroughs in their research of fusion power. Naturally, the Spartan high command found this information to be of great consequence, and they sent in several CRYPTEIA aerial recon teams to investigate the matter more thoroughly. What they found is truly shocking."

CRYPTEIA Photographic Expert: "Indeed, we were able to take these photographs which show that the Morganites now possess advanced planet buster weapons.

[Pic of bunny]

Reporter Johnson: "Uh...sir, that's a rabbit."

CRYPTEIA Photographic Expert: "Ah, but that's no ordinary rabbit! What you are looking at is the most technologically sophisticated PLANET BUSTER BUNNY known to man! That there is the meanest, most explosive little bunny you ever set your eyes on! And it's got BIG, POINTY TEETH!

Reporter Johnson: "No...that looks like an ordinary rabbit to me."

CRYPTEIA Photographic Expert: "Oh no, that little fellow is packed with planet buster explosives. It'll plumb bite your head off, and incinerate an entire city, to boot! That's why these little bunnies are so dangerous. They are small, easily smuggled, cute, furry, subversive, yet DEADLY!" And the Morganites are stockpiling these little critters as we speak!"

Reporter Johnson: "How exactly can you be sure that this rabbit has the...properties that you describe just by looking at the photograph?"

CRYPTEIA Photographic Expert: "Ha! You think we would reveal our most sensitive secrets in advanced technical photographic analysis to YOU?! What do you think we are, STUPID?"

Reporter Johnson: "......"

CRYPTEIA Photographic Expert: "That's right. You got nothin'. Now, if you don't mind, we shall continue with the photographic analysis. As you can see, we even managed to get a snapshot of a test launch of a Planet Buster Bunny ICBM, shown here:

[pic of flying bunny here]

Reporter Johnson: "I'm sorry, but is that a group of men dressed in medieval battle costumes there in the picture?"

CRYPTEIA Photographic Expert: "You have asked enough questions for today!...Oh, wait, I've just been notified that the Colonel wishes to meet with us...so unfortunately we must end the press conference there. Long live the Spartan Federation!"

[Zeiter]

And the Planet Buster Bunny ICBM test-launch pic:

[wuy3]

lol good articles and good reads

keep up the great work

[Zeiter]

Bump. I guess we can publish a new issue of Phalanx now, with these articles and all the others re: Golden Dawn.

[Zeiter]

The Phalanx: Issue #9


Breaking News! Cloning Vats Now Fully Operational!

During this past year Spartan researchers have been furiously working around the clock in an effort to create the world's first functional cloning facility.

Early last year Spartan researchers made a crucial breakthrough when they discovered how to counteract the accelerated aging in cloned sheep that had in fact plagued cloning experiments since the advent of primitive cloning over two hundred years ago on Earth. The problem had been that the telomeres on the tips of chromosomes in cells would partially degrade each time a cell underwent mitosis--that is, cell multiplication. Over time this would inhibit the cells' ability to function and replicate. This acted as sort of a "biological clock" in most cells of a sheep's body. Clones cells with genetic material from an adult sheep would carry forward this biological clock into the newly born sheep. The newly born sheep would thus be prematurely aged even from the moment of birth.

Thanks to recent breakthroughs in retroviral engineering, the researchers were able to discover a brilliant solution involving a molecular sequence from a strange virus which is native to Planet and known jokingly as "U****outtaluckaviridae" for its terrible reputation as one of the most lethal viruses in existence. Using recent advances in biological nanomachinery, this molecular sequence can be extracted, slightly altered, and attached to the end of a telomere in one cell of a sheep's body. The new molecular sequence rapidly self-replicates, and its copies attach themselves to the ends of other telomeres in a sheep's body. The real genius of this procedure is that this slightly altered molecular segment of the virus, far from killing a sheep, actually repairs the telomeres and reverses this aspect of the aging process. The only problem with this approach is that the sheep's immune system naturally attacks the foreign virus material and succeeds in destroying the virus segments after a short time. After that the sheep's body develops a natural immunity to the substance and will instantly reject the virus segments in the future. Therefore, as of now the virus segment injection can only do so much work before it becomes obsolete. However, there is hope that this small obstacle can be overcome with further research, opening up the magnificent possibility for clinical immortality.

The immediate result of these breakthroughs was the ability to "manufacture" an abundance of sheep. Spartan citizens will now have the opportunity to eat all of the mutton and lamb chops they want. Spartan soldiers are also benefiting from the advances. Spartan soldiers in harsh climates are now receiving doubly-thick (and extremely comfortable) wool under-suits.

[IMG]C:\Documents and Settings\Owner\My Documents\My Pictures\ACDG3 Attack Plans\attack-of-the-clones-small.JPG[/IMG]

Furthermore, after perfecting the procedure on sheep, it was only a small effort to adapt the procedure to humans. What this means is that Spartan researchers now have the capability to produce viable genetic clones in extraordinary numbers. The cloning vats constructed at ------ will be the first facility in human history with the capability to clone massive numbers of organisms safely and economically.

The significance of these developments is obvious. The Spartan Federation will now be able to undertake the project that Colonel Corazon Santiago so insightfully foresaw many years ago:

"We will take only the strongest warriors, the most brilliant minds, the most faithful servants. We will multiply them a thousand-fold and usher in a new age of glory." -- Colonel Corazon Santiago

The Spartan Federation, in conjunction with former Morganite construction contractors, has just finished a massive cloning facility at ------. Commercial operation will commence shortly. In smaller labs elsewhere, the Spartan Federation has already created a prototype unit of cloned elite soldiers which, unfortunately, still carries the aged-telomere defect, but nevertheless is still fit for military service. The genetic stock for this unit comes from only the strongest, most intelligent, most loyal, and most renowned soldiers ever to serve proudly in the Spartan military.

[IMG]C:\Documents and Settings\Owner\My Documents\My Pictures\ACDG3 Attack Plans\fett72-small.JPG[/IMG]

Interestingly enough, researchers noticed that the soldiers in this unit still exhibited unique and even quasi-individualistic behavior, despite their genetic similarity. The solution? Once again, those helpful sheep. Researchers found that, by injecting a small portion of sheep DNA into the human genome, the researchers could create cloned humans with the temperament and loyalty of the sheep. Spartan researchers now predict that all future Spartan military units will display an elite skill and obedience never before seen. The Spartan high command, likewise, expects great things from this unit and other clone units in the future. Indeed, the Spartan Federation has already begun to display patriotic posters displaying the Federation's glorious achievements in cloning.

[IMG]C:\Documents and Settings\Owner\My Documents\My Pictures\ACDG3 Attack Plans\010822_clones.jpg[/IMG]

[vishniac]

The solution? Once again, those helpful sheep. Researchers found that, by injecting a small portion of sheep DNA into the human genome, the researchers could create cloned humans with the temperament and loyalty of the sheep. Spartan researchers now predict that all future Spartan military units will display an elite skill and obedience never before seen.

[wuy3]

Long Live the Federation!

[Zeiter]

Considering that we are engaging in some heavy fighting in the Monsoon Jungle now, and especially now that we will soon be making our way from the coasts into the interior of Yang's festering kingdom, perhaps we should write a story about Hiverian troops using the song "Welcome to the Jungle" as psychological warfare:

Welcome to the jungle
We've got fun 'n' games
We got everything you want
Honey, we know the names
We are the people that can find
Whatever you may need
If you got the money, honey
We got your disease

[CHORUS:]

In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your
knees, knees
I wanna watch you bleed

Welcome to the jungle
We take it day by day
If you want it you're gonna bleed
But it's the price you pay
And you're a very sexy girl
That's very hard to please
You can taste the bright lights
But you won't get them for free
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Feel my, my, my serpentine
I, I wanna hear you scream

Welcome to the jungle
It gets worse here everyday
Ya learn ta live like an animal
In the jungle where we play
If you got a hunger for what you see
You'll take it eventually
You can have anything you want
But you better not take it from me

[CHORUS]

And when you're high you never
Ever want to come down, YEAH!

You know where you are
You're in the jungle baby
You're gonna die
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your
knees, knees
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Feel my, my, my serpentine
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your
knees, knees
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your
It' gonna bring you down-HA!

[PJayTycy]

lol @ guns 'n roses


(spartans and angels)