Recreation Commons Courthouse

[Mr. President]

I don't think having an undead army is a crime in and of itself. As long as they're not stealing people's wallets, I think they're permitted.

[Frankychan]

*barges in*

Hold everything! I, as leader of the PHM, must vouch for citizen Lemmy's outstanding service to our government. Not only has he been seen championing the cause of the Peacekeeper, but he has helped numerous citizens in times of need. Futhermore, I say that these charges are total bunk and are designed to slander citizen Lemmy's reputation for some other, more devious purpose.

Free Lemmy! Free Lemmy!

[Lemmy]

Originally posted by Frankychan
*barges in*

Hold everything! I, as leader of the PHM, must vouch for citizen Lemmy's outstanding service to our government. Not only has he been seen championing the cause of the Peacekeeper, but he has helped numerous citizens in times of need. Futhermore, I say that these charges are total bunk and are designed to slander citizen Lemmy's reputation for some other, more devious purpose.

Free Lemmy! Free Lemmy!

Please, someone constrain this madman, obviously he has no idea what he's talking about!!

[Kassiopeia]

Archaic, Mr. President, points taken.

Originally posted by Frankychan
*barges in*

Hold everything! I, as leader of the PHM, must vouch for citizen Lemmy's outstanding service to our government. Not only has he been seen championing the cause of the Peacekeeper, but he has helped numerous citizens in times of need. Futhermore, I say that these charges are total bunk and are designed to slander citizen Lemmy's reputation for some other, more devious purpose.

Free Lemmy! Free Lemmy!

I wholeheartedly agree.

[Mr. President]

Order in the court!

Prosecution, I have reviewed the charges and most of them seem to be related to lifestyle choices - which are not within the authority of this court. Unless you can provide some more substantial evidence of the more serious charges, this case will be dismissed.

[Method]

but what about Little Theft Microkred? he confessed to that and witchcraft, which is surely unlawful. we need to burn him, just they did in the good old days on Earth

[Mr. President]

Little Theft Microkred is indeed a crime. Thanks for reminding me. I'd tell you what the standard punishment is but someone borrowed my law manual and hasn't given it back yet.

As for witchcraft . . . We're the liberal-socialist U.N. Peacekeepers! If he claims it as his religion, not only can he not be burned for it, we have to subsidize him.

[GeneralTacticus]

Yes, where in the law does it say witchcraft is prohibited? It's only banned if he uses it hurt people.

[Method]

what about the vampire-ish blood drinking? surely that hurts people?

[Mr. President]

Yes - if he did it against their will.

[GeneralTacticus]

Where's the evidence that he did that? We have a statement from the police, but nothing else.

[Method]

Originally posted by Mr. President
Yes - if he did it against their will.

who would let that happen willingly?

regarding lack of evidence: i believe kass can provide an IRC log where lemmy describes eating brains

[Mr. President]

who would let that happen willingly?

You'd be surprised. I saw something on TV about "modern vampires" who ask permission from the "donor" and remove it surgically. One of them lives in Arizona.

[GeneralTacticus]

Besides, who's to say it came from other people? He might have just drawn some blood from himself and then drunk it.

[Archaic]

Originally posted by TKG
who would let that happen willingly?

Apparently the whole process is rather pleasurable for both the giver and the reciever. No laws against sexual deviency here.