Asian Tigers PBEM

[Beta]

Trust the performance went well.

I'll keep the celebration going. Save to Witt.

[Wittlich]

2020BC Turn sent to Cerburus.

[CerberusIV]

2020BC to the proud father.

[rumpo kid]

In keeping with a theme...

Just imagine you're down the pub (rub-a-dub), nursing your pint of beer (pig's ear). The chat (bowler - as in bowler hat) is going well and you think you're on a promise. When, would you believe (adam and eve) it, some **** (berkshire hunt - believe it or not it's where the word 'burk' to mean idiot comes from) sits down at the old piano (joanna) and starts to sing and play (Oh No!)...

"A mother was bathin' her baby one night
The youngest of ten, a poor little mite
The mother was fat and the baby was fin
T'was nawt but a skellington wrapped up in skin

The mother turned round for the soap from the rack
She weren't gone a minute, but when she got back
Her baby had gone, and in anguish she cried
"Oh, where is my baby?", and the angels replied

Your baby has gorn dahn the plug'ole
Your baby has gorn dahn the plug
The poor little thing was so skinny and thin
He shoulda been bathed in a jug"

[CerberusIV]

*bump*

rumpo? Beta?

[rumpo kid]

Aaaarghh! My fault. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I sent it to someone else from my contacts folder, I wonder what they'll make of it. I'm so embarrassed I can't even show my face.

[Wittlich]

1990BC Turn sent to Cerberus.

[Beta]

And oh yes - save to Witt - but I see that he is faster than a speeding bullet today.

[CerberusIV]

Back to the man in a mask.

[rumpo kid]

In an ongoing attempt to enliven and educate I present for you delectation and delight...

The Lion and the Albert by Marriott Edgar

There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool, That's noted for fresh air and fun,
And Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom , Went there with young Albert, their son.
A grand little lad was young Albert, All dressed in his best;quite a swell,
With a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle, The finest that Woolworth's could sell.

They didn't think much to the Ocean: The waves, they was fiddlin' and small,
There was no wrecks and nobody drownded, Fact, nothing to laugh at at all.
So, seeking for further amusement, They paid and went into the Zoo,
Where they'd Lions and Tigers and Camels, And old ale and sandwiches too.

There were one great big Lion called Wallace; His nose were all covered with scars,
He lay in a somnolent posture, With the side of his face on the bars.
Now Albert had heard about Lions, How they was ferocious and wild,
To see Wallace lying so peaceful, Well, it didn't seem right to the child.

So straightway the brave little feller, Not showing a morsel of fear,
Took his stick with its 'orses 'ead 'andle And pushed it in Wallace's ear.
You could see that the Lion didn't like it, For giving a kind of a roll,
He pulled Albert inside the cage with 'im, And swallowed the little lad 'ole.

Then Pa, who had seen the occurrence, And didn't know what to do next,
Said " Mother! Yon Lion's 'et Albert," And Mother said " Well, I am vexed!"
Then Mr. and Mrs. Rarnsbottom, Quite rightly, when all's said and done,
Complained to the Animal Keeper, That the Lion had eaten their son.

The keeper was quite nice about it; He said " What a nasty mishap.
Are you sure that it's your boy he's eaten ? " Pa said "Am I sure ? There's his cap! "
The manager had to be sent for. He came and he said " What's to do ? "
Pa said " Yon Lion's 'et Albert, And 'im in his Sunday clothes, too."

Then Mother said, " Right's right, young feller; I think it's a shame and a sin,
For a lion to go and eat Albert, And after we've paid to come in."
Then off they went to the Police Station, In front of the Magistrate chap;
They told 'im what happened to Albert, And proved it by showing his cap.

The manager wanted no trouble, He took out his purse right away,
Saying " How much to settle the matter ? " And Pa said " What do you usually pay?"
But Mother had turned a bit awkward, When she thought where her Albert had gone.
She said " No ! someone's got to be summonsed", So that was decided upon.

The Magistrate gave his opinion That no one was really to blame,
And he said that he hoped the Ramsbottoms , Would have further sons to their name.
At that Mother got proper blazing, " And thank you, sir, kindly," said she.
" What, waste all our lives raising children, To feed ruddy Lions? Not me!"

An important moral for us all there.

if you can catch a recording of Stanley Holloway performing this monologue then I advise you to listen - you'll love yourself for a long time afterwards.

[Wittlich]

Rumpo...wouldn't it just be easier to type "Turn sent to Beta"?

[rumpo kid]

Wittlich, you don't know the half of it. Finding interesting things for this thread takes more of my time than playing the game. However, I can't stand the usual PBEM turn thread. They're like watching a spectator watching a tennis match,

[Wittlich]

I see your point Rumpo

[Beta]

Originally posted by rumpo kid
Wittlich, you don't know the half of it. Finding interesting things for this thread takes more of my time than playing the game.

You have to know its appreciated!!

Above was priceless.

Save to Witt.

[Wittlich]

Here, here!

1960BC Turn sent to Cerberus.