Destruction of Foes (DoF) - Diplo Light [Story Thread 1]

[Inca (DoE)]

The Egpytian army marched out into the desert, finally.

"Eh, I've seen bigger," the commander muttered as he gathered the Persian defense forces, wishing he could return to the cool embrace of the Anatolian highlands. "Maybe the Sultan will grace us with his response finally, at least." He picked at his ear. What is that? Oh well, into the sand with it.



Some sand whipped in his face, the sun burned his fingers a bit more. He waited for a sign. His lieutenants, far too hot to do anything more than stand in place silent, waited along with him.

Time passed.

The Egpytian army shimmered as it sauntered forward through the dunes. Or maybe he just needed to stop drinking. Anyway, it appeared to shimmer and saunter, but so did the dunes and his lieutenants.

Time passed some more.

"Eh, I think I know what they're up to. Start purchasing those new arms and armor for the reserves, let's do this thing properly." he said distractedly, now appraising his nails.

"Sir, it will take a while to purchase for everyone."

"Okay, well, start with the spearmen then..."

"But, they only have a few chariots and quite a lot of shock troops..."

"I said pikes, dammit!"



"Yes, sir..."

[Rome (DoF)]

Princeps Gaius Julius Caesar to all friendly and hostile nations:
I was asked by the Senate and people of Rome to take control of the republic. I also support the army. All contracts will be respected. But nothing will be forgotten. Rome began to build a new era in its history.

[LzPrst]

Could Inca please post as their right civ?

[Carthage (DoF)]

Massive new trading opportunities

[France (DoF)]

In the diplomatic language of the Gauls, in the port of Perpignan, the local KMB representative was approached by a scruffy-looking Gaul.

Hey Carthagian, I am correct in understanding that you want to buy Gems and cows? I may have some for you, but it depends on the price. Shall we barter?

[Calanthian]

EDIT
Wrong forum

[Carthage (DoF)]

As always we are pleased to help our customers.
We have some exquisite goods, just for you my dear customer.


We have some fine elephants available, a truly versatile product:

it can be used in the arena,
on the battlefield,
as exquisite meat
and last but not least as source of ivory.

Therefore my slogan is:
The elephant, a bloody beautiful product..





Make sure your wife is the envy of the neighbourhood..

[France (DoF)]

The Gauls are a very happy people as we have recently finished our great war monument which we call the Notre Dame. It is a magnificent building and every Gaul aspires to travel to our capital to see it. The Gauls also are very happy as we have many other nice luxurious resources.

As such elephants are not highly valued by us, however, we would be interested in a short term trade for elephants if the price was right, say add 15 gpt and we will trade gems for elephants for 20 turns. Following that, we can renegotiate.

[Bulgaria (DoF)]

Charge of the light and fast Konniks versus the heavily armored Knights, Macemen and Pikermen in the battle for St.Petersburg.




All the Russians were slain as the Bulgarian army utterly destroys Russian army in the biggest battle the word have seen till now. It lasted 3 days, half a million soldiers died, 80 divisions destroyed and the city itself captured.

After the heavy battle, the Bulgarian army is still the mightiest and most numerous in the world.

Khan Asparukh entered the long desired and rightfully Bulgarian city and spared the live of the civilians.
"Cower before us, filthy Russians, there is no place for you to hide, we are coming to get you." Khan Asparukh said from the height of the St.Petersburg tower, waiving his spear in threat.

[Calanthian]

...

[Inca (DoE)]

Glorious Peace at last

nm

[Persia (DoF)]

Glorious Peace at last

The men eyed each other warily. An emissary from the considerable Egyptian army, the general of the Persian army, now stationed just a few kilometers of sand between them, but a few great dunes of ancient rock now turned to grain.

Words were unspoken, thoughts unthought, smiles unsmiled. The men eyed each other longer. The sun crept along, trying to sneak past and get on its way as quickly as possible.

The general cleared his throat. All nervous attention turned to him. He spit something out.

A shadow passed over the group. A few clouds sparingly kept the sun from them, and sparingly kept them from the sun.

"He'll be here any minute," the general assured his counterpart. The counterpart muttered, "as soon as he can." The silence resumed.

****

Elsewhere, the Persian negotiator was lost in a most important matter. His hair did not quite look right under his headdress. "No, Xerxes, it still does not quite look right. I must.... get it right. Damn this knife, I can barely see what I'm doing! Where is my ****** mirror?! Ahmed! Ahmed! Get my damned mirror now!"

"Nevermind, Ahmed, I think I got it! How does this look, Xerxes? Good?"

"Well, sire," said Xerxes, "it looks adequate to the task. Perhaps we should be going? The man is waiting for you..."

"Yes, yes, that would be best."

And so the group mounted their camels and rode out to the camp. Never one to make a poor entrance, Darius came fashionably late to the peace negotiation. After much fanfare, he walked up to the Egyptian-Bulgarian delegate and immediately began the art of fine Persian negotiation by screaming violently at him in non-verbal epithets.
















After some time of this back-and-forth, the two had come to an agreement. The Egyptian man walked back to his camp, Darius to his extravagant litter, and the two hoped never to see one another again.
















Back in Pasargadae, there was but one thing left to do to ring in this new era of peace:

[Carthage (DoF)]

"Have you heard anything about the messengers we sent to the Portuguese?"

"No sire we have not.."

[Bulgaria (DoF)]

A comet can be seen in the skies. It bodes nothing else than evil. It is said that the year 1000 AD will bring death and destruction to the Earth never seen or imagined till then. Nations will perish, the rivers will run red with blood. The dark ages begins.

[Carthage (DoF)]

Which song will describe the next millennium?

Is it going to be a song of hope

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIFY9h8DImg

or a song of despair?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0c-0ZxsEPw&feature=related

(and yes, the words are the same)