The Daily Turkey
Interviews on Current Events:
Our Mustaffa interviewed several prominent Turks on the most pressing issues of the day. Here are some excepts from interviews that will be appearing in full in our next issue...
Interview with Aysecan, Public Relations Minister:
Q: What do you think of India's recent request for the world community to condemn the acts of aggression against India?
A: What act of Agression? And by whom? India has accused or implicated no less than seven different nations in their recent published Congressional records.
Q: Seven?!? How do you figure that Madame Aysecan?
A: First, its Madamemoiselle if you please... Second, They accuse everyone with Rifles or Frigates, so they accuse China, Neandor, Inca, England, Vikings, Turkey and Russia. Who is left to do the condemning when you accuse everyone? How can anyone condemn anyone when everyone stands accused? India needs to conduct a proper investigation, and determine who they actually consider an enemy in this War. Then they should declare open War on these nations, and then ask for the world to condemn them as agressors, not just recklessly throw accusations against a wall seeking to see what sticks...
Interview with Suleiman, Chief Naval Advisor:
Q: What do you think of India's recent request for the world community to condemn the acts of aggression against India?
A: The Indian cowards have already announced that they are pacifist. Obviously a nation would attack them. It makes no sense not to attack a nation of cowards who refuse to fight for their survival. Announcing themselves as pacifist was a provocation for Japan to attack.
Q: But don't the Indians have a right to uphold the honorable principle of Pacifism?
A: Ha! The Turkish government is openly pacifist, but we do not let our enemies stomp on our necks. I detest the pacifist element of our government, but I have seen that it is only a portion of who we are. We are still men with Axes. This pleases me. I am Suleiman.
Q: But what if the Indian version of Pacifism is different from the Turkish version? Is that not conceivable?
A: The Indians are liars. They do not practice pacifism, they have been lying for years that thye are pacifist, but as soon as they are actually attacked, they quickly drop their so-called pacifism. Why did they not simply surrender and join the nation of Japan if they are so pacifist? They disgust me with their lies. I wish the Sultan would let me... Never mind.
Q: Let you what?
A: This interview is over!
Interview with Mahmud, substitute Messenger of Sultan Ahmed V:
Q: What do you think of India's recent request for the world community to condemn the acts of aggression against India?
A: The opening of the World War firmly established as a principle of international law, that lower ranked nations have an absolute, unqualified privilege to attack higher ranked ones. India, fully supported this principle by supporting and allying with Neandor and Vikings and France against England. Japan is ranked far, far lower than India, just as Vikings were ranked lower than England. So it is absurdly hypocritical for Indian to complain about Japanese "aggression."
Q: How are the two wars connected?
A: First of all, the World War has not ended, as this latest conflict is just a spin-off and continuation of the World War. The next thing to note, is that Vikings announced that they attacked England to expand and enrich their nation. Japan has announced the same. India supported the Axis alliance that included Vikings. What are they now complaining about?
Interview with Raul, Daily Turkey reporter imbedded with the Accolytes of the Brahman:
Q: What does the Accolytes 'Queen' think of India's recent request for the world community to condemn the acts of aggression against India?
A: All she said to me about it was that I shouldnt go back, and that soon the "others" would arrive. I have no idea who the "Others" are.
Interviews on Current Events:
Our Mustaffa interviewed several prominent Turks on the most pressing issues of the day. Here are some excepts from interviews that will be appearing in full in our next issue...
Interview with Aysecan, Public Relations Minister:
Q: What do you think of India's recent request for the world community to condemn the acts of aggression against India?
A: What act of Agression? And by whom? India has accused or implicated no less than seven different nations in their recent published Congressional records.
Q: Seven?!? How do you figure that Madame Aysecan?
A: First, its Madamemoiselle if you please... Second, They accuse everyone with Rifles or Frigates, so they accuse China, Neandor, Inca, England, Vikings, Turkey and Russia. Who is left to do the condemning when you accuse everyone? How can anyone condemn anyone when everyone stands accused? India needs to conduct a proper investigation, and determine who they actually consider an enemy in this War. Then they should declare open War on these nations, and then ask for the world to condemn them as agressors, not just recklessly throw accusations against a wall seeking to see what sticks...
Interview with Suleiman, Chief Naval Advisor:
Q: What do you think of India's recent request for the world community to condemn the acts of aggression against India?
A: The Indian cowards have already announced that they are pacifist. Obviously a nation would attack them. It makes no sense not to attack a nation of cowards who refuse to fight for their survival. Announcing themselves as pacifist was a provocation for Japan to attack.
Q: But don't the Indians have a right to uphold the honorable principle of Pacifism?
A: Ha! The Turkish government is openly pacifist, but we do not let our enemies stomp on our necks. I detest the pacifist element of our government, but I have seen that it is only a portion of who we are. We are still men with Axes. This pleases me. I am Suleiman.
Q: But what if the Indian version of Pacifism is different from the Turkish version? Is that not conceivable?
A: The Indians are liars. They do not practice pacifism, they have been lying for years that thye are pacifist, but as soon as they are actually attacked, they quickly drop their so-called pacifism. Why did they not simply surrender and join the nation of Japan if they are so pacifist? They disgust me with their lies. I wish the Sultan would let me... Never mind.
Q: Let you what?
A: This interview is over!
Interview with Mahmud, substitute Messenger of Sultan Ahmed V:
Q: What do you think of India's recent request for the world community to condemn the acts of aggression against India?
A: The opening of the World War firmly established as a principle of international law, that lower ranked nations have an absolute, unqualified privilege to attack higher ranked ones. India, fully supported this principle by supporting and allying with Neandor and Vikings and France against England. Japan is ranked far, far lower than India, just as Vikings were ranked lower than England. So it is absurdly hypocritical for Indian to complain about Japanese "aggression."
Q: How are the two wars connected?
A: First of all, the World War has not ended, as this latest conflict is just a spin-off and continuation of the World War. The next thing to note, is that Vikings announced that they attacked England to expand and enrich their nation. Japan has announced the same. India supported the Axis alliance that included Vikings. What are they now complaining about?
Interview with Raul, Daily Turkey reporter imbedded with the Accolytes of the Brahman:
Q: What does the Accolytes 'Queen' think of India's recent request for the world community to condemn the acts of aggression against India?
A: All she said to me about it was that I shouldnt go back, and that soon the "others" would arrive. I have no idea who the "Others" are.
Comment