History of the World, the 8th Wonder of the World

[deity]

Secret missive to Hanz of Germany

Just a word of warning from Konya. Let's be very clear about this. We are firmly allied with India, England and the Inca. We also have other friends.

Any aggression by Germany on England or any other member of the alliance will result in a state of war between our two nations.

This will be so even if openly it is not declared by our Foreign Affairs Minister, Bayu.

Know that we will be relentless in pursuing Germany over any such actions.

We aplaud any efforts Germany makes to resolves cultural differences in a truely diplomatuic manner.

And, another matter, we request a response to our amazement at Germany's assistance to the Zulu.

Konya

[Toni]

Hanz was shocked by the bolt ottoman words, after all its Germany the one who has always tried to find a diplomatic solution. The whole world knows that Germany warned officially the English not to use their great artist against German borders. Our words were ignored and the English stole what wasn’t theirs to have, even after an official warning. There were even no attempts by the English made to contact us and resolve this matter after all this. Tell me Konya now who is to blame about this? We fear that you are too biased to judge the real situation. You are only ready to blame and throw aggressive words which aren’t at all welcomed. I real diplomat wouldn’t use what words you did towards us. Also you blame Germany for taking more than its share of the New World, we wonder why haven’t you said anything to the English, after all they have the same amount of New world colonies as we do and are even eager to risk war for it. And once again your threats aren’t productive at all, how can there be a dialogue when you openly declare your hostilities.

Hanz

[KunojiLym]

The Kingdom of Korea

Certainly, the conflict between the Zulu and the Carthagians had no bearing on us, up until Carthage itself was threatened. Then there was a danger, for it could very well lead to the total conquest of the Carthagian nation, and leave but a small gap (through German territory) between them and our own territories. There was no immeadiate threat, but there was a real and possible threat, and we thus took the necessary actions to counter this threat. Keep in mind that we do not yet consider the threat neutralized, thought we acknowledge that at present, the danger seems minute.

And with regards to the Germans, Hittite seems to forget that they both share an extensive border with us, and have a dominant religious philosophy circulating amongst our populace. Furthermore, you have not shown us how this action by the Germans threatens us, nor have you shown us proof of such actions. Rest assured that if you had similarily aided the Zulu, we would had responded in the same way, i.e., we would have been neutral.

Moving on to other matters, we must express alarm over the brewing conflict between our two largest and most powerful neighbors. Korea hereby requests that conflicts over the New World be confined to the New World; we wish the Old World to be unburdened by such far-flung colonial tussles.

Jeongjong, King of Korea

[Toni]

A letter to Jeongjong,

Dear friend, I want to reassure you that Germany has nothing against the Ottomans. We seek no conflict with those people. But sadly, they seem to have something against us. This is a one way conflict, Hanz of Germany wants to reassure you that our trading relations and good friendship will continue as usual. Let the ottomans bark, we will not give into their threats.

Hanz

[Robert]

The end of the Incan-Zulu friendship

"Once again, we will defend the Zulu, our brothers!", the Sapa Inca, Lloque Yupanqui, said.

"But they have started this war themselves!" one of his chief advisors responded.
"Our people do not want to support a warmongering king, and you know that!"

"They may, but they had good reasons for that. You know that our spies have reported a Carthagian buildup of troops near the Zulu borders. Not to mention the insult that's named the city of Hippo."

"That may be, Sapa, but shouldn't we morally support those who are invaded, despite the actions they may have performed that have caused the invasion?"

"No, we should not. I have trust in the Zulu, they are our brothers. Remember how eager the Carthagians were to invade us in the deep dark days of the American invasion? Only the influence of all nations on Terra saved us from being defeated by a double alliance of the Americans with the Carthagians."

"Those days are long gone great Sapa"

"Those days are gone, but they might have returned weren't it for the Zulu who were brave enough to deal with the Carthagians in the first Zulu-Carthagian war. And therefor allone I have trust in them to backup the Zulu once again. Send troops to Zulu territories to protect the Zulu cities, we will not invade Carthagian territory ourselves."

"Yes mylord."

Several days later.........

"Great Sapa, great Sapa, the Zulu have threatened the Carthagians to burn down their Capital, Carthage, the holy city of all Jews!"

"Good for them."

"Many people will die......."

"There are no rules in war. War is the road to peace. If the Carthagians don't want to listen to te terms of peace they must face the terms of war. The terms of the Zulu are good and fair, if the Carthagians do not want to listen, they must face the concequences."

"But the terms of war are unacceptable!"

"Unacceptable? No they are not. The city of Hippo is an insult to both the Inca and the Zulu! The city must be replaced!"

"But this is not about Hippo!"

"Sometimes the enemy must believe that you will do the ultimate thing to get what you want. The Zulu will never burn down a city with the size of Carthage. Fear will be Carthages best advisor!"

"But it's not about Hippo, the Zulu want Hadrumetum!"

"Hadrumetum? Why would they want Hadrumetum? That city is far from the Zulu borders, isn't it? There are no problems with Hadrumetum, why would the Zulu demand such a city in exchange for peace and keep the insult of Hippo untouched?"

"Great Sapa, the Zulu king has turned into a madman! We cannot trust him anymore!"

"Look up the latest maps of the area"

"Here they are Great Sapa:"


"Hmmmm, are you sure that the Zulu demand the city of Hadrumetum in exchange for peace?"

"That's the biggest request indeed. There are some smaller terms as well but basicly it's all about Hadrumetum."

"Nothing about Hippo?"

"Nothing!"

"But the initial demand of the Zulu was the disbanding of Hippo! Look it up for me please!"

"Mylord, here's the exact text of the initial Zulu demands, and you are right!"

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. speaking on behalf of the Zulu: (link)
Those are the facts of the matter. The Zulu will agree to peace for the disbandment of the Carthagen city of Hippo. Otherwise, we reserve the right to defend Zulu land as we see fit.

"Nothing. And as we speak Zulu armies are marching towards Carthage to burn it down."

"He's really going to burn it down?"

"Yes Great Sapa, our allie has became the image of our enemy!"

"MacArther...."

"Yes, we can see the spirit of MacArther and Levi in him."

"MacArther.......... MacArther DIE! You murderer of innocents!"

"It's not MacArther himself, his name is Shaka!"

"MacArther, the eternal enemy of the Inca, death be upon him!, we cannot be allied with anyone who acts in his image!"

"What shall I do Great Sapa?"

"Send word to Shaka and ask him to settle the issue by replacing the city of Hippo. Tell him that treathening to burn down the city of Carthage is fine, but he can not do it for real! Tell him that his allies expect reason from him."

"As you wish mylord"

Many days later......

"Any response from Shaka yet?"

"Nothing"

Many more days later......

"Any response?"

"Nothing Great Sapa"

More days later......

"Did Shaka respond at last?"

"He did not, mylord"

"Then send him another message and tell him that if he proceed to do as he does, we will remove our troops from his territory, end our alliance and consider the Incan-Zulu friendship history"

"Will we declare war upon them?"

"No, there is no reason for war, the end of friendship doesn't mean the start of hate and war."

"Shouldn't we consult our allies?"

"They will understand."

"It may be the end of all our alliances, if our other allies chose to stick to their alliance with the Zulu....."

"I do not want to act in a political way, I do not want to be allied or friends with a dictator and a madman! I'd rather be isolated and without friends then that my name will be placed in line with the name of Shaka!
Send him the message and give him 3 days to respond."

3 days later

"No response?"

"No response."

"End all deals with the Zulu, send word to our allies. It's up to them what their reaction will be. Call our troops in zulu territory back"

"Yes Great Sapa"

[OzzyKP]

To: President Mandela of the Zulu
CC: All Nations
RE: The Zulu-Carthage War

Many accusations have been thrown around from many sources regarding the Zulu-Carthage war and its diplomatic aftermath. The accusations stemming from your government have been that all of Zulu's allies sold them out during the war. I write to reassure you this is not the case.

England has not canceled our alliance and has done nothing to indicate we have abandoned our Zulu allies at this difficult time. If Shaka has reached that conclusion we pray the wise leader, Mandela will see the truth of the situation.

Accusations have also been made that England, and many nations of the world are averse to war and discourage all war regardless of the source or reason. This also, at least in England's case, is not true. Please allow me to explain our position.

We were long opposed to the aggressive colonization policies of the Carthaginians and long understood the necessity for war after they refused to accept any diplomatic compromise. As we lack much military strength we were unable to send any aid, but I assume you understand our position.

The war went well and a peace treaty was signed much to our pleasure. The war was short and we were pleased it had ended both successfully and relatively painlessly for both sides. It was then we were approached by the Carthaginians with an offer of teaming together to invade the Zulu. They suggested we invade from the north and they from the west.

I was confused as it seemed a peace treaty had just been signed. They assured me however that the treaty was not valid or that they did not consider it binding on them. It was distressing to us that the words they spoke on the treaty had no meaning for them so we informed the Zulu.

Angered by this betrayal, your predecessor, Shaka, invaded once more and confirmed our reports that Carthage was building a new army to invade.

It was then that Shaka began to exhibit erratic behavior that many of us felt was reminiscent of Mad King Levi. He would offer peace and then change the offer after Carthage accepted. He threatened to burn the great holy city of Carthage to the ground - likely to kill hundreds of thousands of innocent people. He started to demand territory far from your borders instead of the land that sparked this war in the first place.

Such unreasonable demands - and the constantly shifting demands - caused alarm the world over. The great western powers of Germany and Korea threatened to invade. Zulu's Incan allies threatened to abandon the alliance. Many bad consequences were on the horizon if Shaka continued down such an erratic path.

England - in its role as a good ally - strongly urged the Zulu to back off from its unreasonable demands and accept a fair peace with Carthage. We did this for the good of the Zulu. A war against the Germans and Koreans would not be winnable. We strongly advised Shaka to exercise caution. He indeed had the upper hand against Carthage, but with the aggressive powers of Germany and Korea in the mix Shaka's military advantage withered. We did not want to see our ally hurt by an ever widening war.

We also made these suggestions for the good of Carthage. Creating a permanently crippled civilization is in no one's best interests. They would harbor a deep resentment that would never expire and somehow - someway get revenge. Only a fair peace is a permanent peace.

We sent envoys directly to Shaka to relay our thoughts in private but they were turned away and never received an audience with the erratic king. We wanted to discuss this in private to avoid giving comfort to the Zulu's enemies but we were ignored. No doubt this kind of callous disrespect for its allies is what drove the Inca away.

Let it be known however that we never abandoned the Zulu, we have and still consider the Zulu an ally. However we have very grave concerns over the path the Zulu have taken in recent years and we hope they can be addressed fully and swiftly. Accepting help from a German nation who not long ago threatened to invade is another sign of Shaka's erratic behavior and another cause of concern.

Not only has Germany threatened to invade the Zulu in recent history, they currently threaten to invade England. They are an erratic, militaristic power and accepting aid from them is a worry for all the world.

I have always had good relations with you, King Mandela, please put my worries at ease, thank you.

Queen Elizabeth I, of England

[deity]

Originally posted by Toni
Hanz was shocked by the bolt ottoman words, after all its Germany the one who has always tried to find a diplomatic solution. The whole world knows that Germany warned officially the English not to use their great artist against German borders. Our words were ignored and the English stole what wasn’t theirs to have, even after an official warning. There were even no attempts by the English made to contact us and resolve this matter after all this. Tell me Konya now who is to blame about this? We fear that you are too biased to judge the real situation. You are only ready to blame and throw aggressive words which aren’t at all welcomed. I real diplomat wouldn’t use what words you did towards us. Also you blame Germany for taking more than its share of the New World, we wonder why haven’t you said anything to the English, after all they have the same amount of New world colonies as we do and are even eager to risk war for it. And once again your threats aren’t productive at all, how can there be a dialogue when you openly declare your hostilities.

Hanz

[ secret missive ]

[deity]

Originally posted by Toni
A letter to Jeongjong,

Dear friend, I want to reassure you that Germany has nothing against the Ottomans. We seek no conflict with those people. But sadly, they seem to have something against us. This is a one way conflict, Hanz of Germany wants to reassure you that our trading relations and good friendship will continue as usual. Let the ottomans bark, we will not give into their threats.

Hanz

As long as you don't attack the English and you work towards peaceable cultural/border negotiations we are satisfied that no action is necessary.

However the smaller Eastern nations like India and England deserve more of the New Terra I believe. The dominance by the super powers of the West is a concern I suggest - note the escalating city count there.

[KunojiLym]

The Kingdom of Korea

We feel that a map of the New World with the boundaries of the colonies clearly marked will do much to bring clarity to the situation. Unfortunatedly, we are in possession of an outdated version, and thus will only be able to mark out our own colonies. Perhaps the other colonial powers can draw up such a map?

Jeongjong, King of Korea

[Robert]

Letter to Hanz, leader of the Germans
From Lloque Yupanqui the Sapa Inca

Dear Hanz may you have lived forever! [that's not a grammar error!!]

Our history books tell me about the help you offered when the Incans were invaded by hordes of Barbarians, long ago.
The chronicles of my fathers speak about the honorable help the Germans have given to the Inca, through times of troubles and through times of peace.
Our history shows that the Germans and the Incans have always lived in peace together. We were able to settle disputes about city placements before they became disputes. We honored Germany with territory and Germany honored us with help and money, when needed.

May the Germans live forever.

Dear Hanz, I am worried about the recent developments on what some people call 'The New World'. Word of mouth reached us that an English Great Artist was able to bring many people in the New World in awe! He caused the barbarians to speak english and count themselves among the English!
Both German and English sources confirmed this.

It's an achievement that does really impress us, the Incans! We really appreciate the works of an Artist. We admire them far above the wonders of war and the blessings of the spear.

But now I have read your treats towards the English, these treats worry me. How can the honorable German people whom we always learned to know as peaceful and wise, as honorable and respectable, treat to wage war against artists? Against the English whoms nature is peace and friendship?

Honorable Hanz, despite our long history of friendship we, the Incans, cannot let the Germans invade English territory because of the dispute over the works of an artist! The English are our allies of long ago. Believers of the true faiths, worshippers of Brahma!
The English are no treat to us or to anybody else and we plead upon your honorable nature to not invade english territory.

If you will continue to walk on the paths of war without listening to the counsil of your frienly neighbours, I'm worried that an end may come on the long time friendship of the Germans and the Incans.

Don't let it come that far, Hanz!
You are not MacArthur!
You are not Shaka!
You are not Levi!
You are not Evil Hanz!
The Incan people have a saying: "As Honorable as Hanz"

Live up to yourself!

Lloque Yupanqui, The Sapa Inca

[Toni]

note the escalating city count there.

10 cities to 8 of England come on Konya be more constructive please, you sound like Germany has 20 cities and the little poor English 2.

Still Germany is amazed by the following:

As long as you don't attack the English and you work towards peaceable cultural/border negotiations we are satisfied that no action is necessary.

How dare you talk to use like that!!

You ask as for diplomatic measures and peaceful actions ok but what about the ENGLISH, THEIR FORCEFUL CULTURAL EXPANSION IS A WAR ACT. And again I repeat that Germany asked them not to use this cultural great artist!!

Compared to you and your friends Germany has had a flawless diplomatic record, we have never threatened anyone! Compared to you, India or the English. If you are wondering why we point you, just read your msg towards us.

We find the Inca to be reasonable and still willing to communicate and deal as fair and equal partners.

We ask England for an apology and an explanation for this aggressive expansion act. Germany has the full right to seek retribution some way. Don't forget we have been using only diplomacy here. England hasn't tried to contact us or explain herself. Instead use harsh language towards us:

They are an erratic, militaristic power

Just ludicrous

Germany will stay on the diplomatic path, but we alone can't resolve this issue England needs to come forward and find a way to make things right.

We also ask kindly that foreign nations stop threatening us! Instead of a brigther future you are only making it darker.

[OzzyKP]

England does not desire war or conflict or bad feelings with the Germans or any other nation on Terra.

We have spent millenia has a small, backward people with but a fraction of the power, land, wealth or technological advancement of the rich nations of the world like the Germans and Mali. Our land is small and overrun by dense jungles we have only recently begun to clear. We had resigned ourselves to a future of misery and poverty until we were at last given hope that we might one day find a more equitable situation in the world for us lowly English.

We heard tales of a great empty land over the great ocean to our east. We knew little about this land, but heard tales that it was overflowing with milk and honey. I sent the intrepid explorer, John Cabot out to investigate this brave new world.

Not long reports returned about the existence of this great empty land did English pioneers and pilgrims embark on a voyage across the sea to put down roots in a new land and seek a new life for themselves. The first group landed in a land empty of civilization except for a few scattered native tribes and established the Jamestown settlement as the first settlement of the new colony of Virginia - named in my honor.

Another hardy group of English pioneers, led by Sir Walter Raleigh, landed in another empty part of this new land and set up camp at a location they named Roanoke. The brought with them explorers who searched the territory immediately around the Roanoke base camp and again found no civilized inhabitants. They began setting up a new colony but were soon visited by a grand army of Mali soldiers. They declared the land to be Mali land and threatened to kill all our peaceful settlers if we did not embark immediately.

The colonists saw no Mali colonies anywhere near them. Just wilderness and natives. Not only didn't we see any Mali colonies, we didn't even see any Mali colonists! Just military marching across the land in search of conquest who arrived at that location a few months after our colonists.

By right that was our land, but we were threatened with war and extermination by the Mali armies that gathered around Roanoke. We were forced to abandon the colony. We had no choice but to flee.

The Mali told us of a great land in the north whose existence we had not learned of and suggested we look there. They also offered us land south of Roanoke which we grudgingly accepted.

After news spread of a vast empty land in the north, a devout band of an obscure sect set out to find a land where they could live in peace - free from persecution. These pilgrims boarded the Mayflower and sailed east to the new world. As promised they found a great empty land. Even the natives were sparse.

These pilgrims ventured forth deep into the interior. Using the information given to us by the Mali they deliberately sought a location that was as far away from other civilized settlements as possible. They wanted nothing more than to live in peace. They wandered for months to find an acceptable location that was as far away from other colonies as possible and there they sought to live in peace and freedom.

It was then, after all the considerations they made as to the welfare of other nations that the Germans threatened them and demanded they leave. The Germans, like their neighbors from their English homeland were intolerant of their beliefs and threatened to stamp them out. The pilgrims knew very well about the lost colony of Roanoke in the south and worried about their future. If settling here in the most empty location in the new world still resulted in threats it seemed clear that no location would be suitable. The powerful empires of the west would only be happy if the English simply stayed home and were forever locked into their meager 4 cities in poverty and desperation.

It was then that Miles Standish, leader of the pilgrims decided it was time to stop running. In a letter sent to my office detailing the events, Captain Standish said, "we have done everything possible to please the mighty Germans and yet they are still not happy. Our people have traveled far and endured much. If we do not settle now and put down crops our people will starve come winter. We came here at the suggestion of the Mali and we have no other options. If we do not settle here our people will die and there will be no more unclaimed land left for us or any other English who seek a home for themselves. We simply have no choice."

It is then they founded the Plymouth colony. Their minor religious sect caught on quickly with the native population around them. The natives were already alarmed and fearful of the conquering German forces who had massacred their brothers all over the continent they quickly befriended the peaceful English colonists. The pilgrims worked closely with the native interpreter, Squanto, and they became close friends and allies. The natives, Pokanoket as they called themselves, helped the struggling English colonists out greatly to endure their first winter. Bringing them much food the pilgrims held a great feast - a Thanksgiving for their fortune and friends in the new world.

English culture spread quickly through all the lands of the Pokanoket and their native allies.

Again, we mean no harm and our people did all they could to avoid conflict with the Germans, the Mali, and other civilized people in the new world. We wish only to live in peace. It is my solemn hope the Germans can see to take pity on the poor and backward nation of England and refrain from massacring our innocent people who only wish to live in peace.

- Queen Elizabeth I

[Glohithia]

Hail Mandela of the Zulu’s. I, Mansa Gudessa of Mali wish to offer you our nation’s friendship. We have heard of the harsh treatment you have received from your so called allies, the Inca, Hittites, and English. And while we now hear of their pathetic attempts at reconciliation with your great nation, we hope you will remember their words towards you in your time of need:

"To our North lies a great peril. NOT the careless friend in Carthage but our old ally the Zulus!

Then the Inca declared their alliance with the Zulu null and void and grabbed the high moral ground. The English, Indians and Hittites are soon to follow.

Passage would be granted through Hittite lands to allow access.”

If it pleases you, Mandela, send an emissary to our capital city and let us discuss the ways we can work together to make both our great nations even better. Mali would welcome your friendship.

[Glohithia]

To: Konya of the Hittites

From: Mansa Gudessa of Mali

Konya, we are surprised and displeased to hear such demands and vile tone from you. Mali has had no previous problems, or contact for that matter, with your nation. Yet you spread lie’s about us concerning our allies the Egyptians.

“All this while the small nations of the world are trying to grab a bit of land in the New World with the Mali selfishly running away with land promised to the Egyptians and the Germans taking also more than their fair share.”

We can only wonder where you get your mis-information from. Do you make it up to suit your needs? Or were you fed lie’s from others and irresponsibly spread them? Although we don’t recognize your right to insist details of our nations deals with our allies, we will say this. Mali has not taken land promised to any of her allies. I find it curious you are the only nation accusing us and we have no dealing with you. I would think if we wronged Egypt or Germany or Korea, they would be the first to speak of it. That fact should make other neutral parties think very little of your claim I would think.

We would also like to take the time to bring up your pushy, rude, and uncalled for behavior concerning our allies the Germans and Koreans. While they have represented themselves well in previous responses to your badgering, we feel it is our duty as allies to also respond. We would like to call your attention to some of your more outrageous demands and ask for you to offer your complete apology for such un-diplomatic behavior.

“Can Hanz of the Germans please provide a rationale for this, given that they were the most critical of the Zulus war mongering. Is this some kind of reward? A secret agenda?”

What makes the Hittites think they deserve to know German motivation? Do you feel you are just born to privilege? You must feel so superior to Germany that you can demand to know German state secrets? We stand amazed at your brazen attitude. Surely you don’t rule the entire world so as to entitle you to make these demands of sovereign nations. Although we are now convinced that could very well be your goal!

“And to the Zulus, to Shaka himself, I ask this, How is it that you so quickly turn from your allies without attempting ANY reconciliation whatsoever and into the arms of the German machine?”

We fail to see how you and your allies turning on the Zulu in their time of need obligates them to come begging back to you. Once spurned by your block, isolated and alone, they chose to accept some help from Germany. It seems quite natural to me. As you may have noticed, we have sent the Zulu an invitation to come to Timbuktu to talk with us also.

“Also, to Choson of Korea, what is your position regarding the German support for the Zulus given that you were also very critical of the Zulu war mongering? And ready to send troops also. With all due respect but the Hittites form a solid block between you and the Zulus so I don't see you actions explained here.”

Korea was kind enough to offer an explanation and then another. Yet you insist on pushing them. We marvel at your bad form.

“I want answers.”

There is a famous play in Mali right now, The princess Who is Also A Bride. Yes, it seems an unwieldy title, but let me assure you it is the toast of the nation. In it, there is an exchange between two main characters that I find appropriate to your outrageous demands.

"Inigo Montoya: Who are you?
Westley: No one of consequence.
Inigo Montoya: I must know...
Westley: Get used to disappointment. "

So we say to you Konya, regarding your rude and demanding demeanor when you say “I want answers”…Get used to disappointment. Nobody on Terra is beholden to you in such a way that you can demand anything. We urge you to tone down your rhetoric and offer apologies to the injured parties. Let us live on Terra in peace!

[Glohithia]

To: Mandela of the Zulu

From: Haile Selassie I

Jah's blessings Mandela. I am very pleased you are open to the truth of Rasta. I am sending one of our most accomplished prophets, Marcus Garvey, to meet with you. He will bring along the herb of enlightenment and together you can smoke the sweet Sensi and come to understand the Almighty, Jah willing!

I hope you will throw off your burdens of oppression and be free again. Let your people rejoice!