Funniest mothy python thing?

BeBro · August 16, 2003, 08:12

So?

I can´t remember them all, but one of the greatest for me was "the funniest joke" used as a weapon in WWII

"All through the winter of '43 we had translators working, in joke-proof conditions, to try and produce a German version of the joke. They worked on one word each for greater safety. One of them saw two words of the joke and spent several weeks in hospital."

reds4ever · August 16, 2003, 08:17

The mountaineer with double vision who wanted to climb the twin peaks of Everest

Jeltz · August 16, 2003, 08:36

There's some many it's impossible to choose. Homicidal barber, argument clinic, the parrot, All-England summarising Proust contest...

Was the mountaineer sketch the one where a man was climbing on some street as a reporter interviewed him? That was hilarious!

The Andy-Man · August 16, 2003, 09:35

The Crimson Permanent Assurance!

BeBro · August 16, 2003, 09:36

Spanish Inquisition was excellent too

Winston · August 16, 2003, 10:35

The Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things.

alva · August 16, 2003, 10:46

Pavement climbing

Novel writing..

Logic versus sex

chateaux de ...

http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/python/monty.html

Boris Godunov · August 16, 2003, 11:22

Advertising agency...

"And here you changed the name of 'Conquistador Instant Coffee' to 'Conquistador Instant Leprosy.' Why, Frog?"

"S. Frog, sir."

"Shut up."

Cheese shop!

"Yes, we do have Camembert, sir."

"Ah, excellent. Bring forth the fromage de la belle France posthaste."

"It's a bit runny, sir."

"Oh, that's okay, I like it runny."

"I think it's a bit runnier than you'd like."

"I don't care how ****ing runny it is, go get me the cheese."

"Oh, the cat's eaten it!"

And, of course, The Argument Clinic! My brother and I did that one in a high school talent show. Quite a hit!

Wernazuma III · August 16, 2003, 11:43

What's the name of the "heyhey, nutchnutch" sketch? That one was great. Also loved the Disabled Olympics, philosophers soccer finals and the princess with the wooden teeth!

The Templar · August 16, 2003, 16:05

Cheese shop was great.

So was
Pepperpot #1: What do ya have there?
Pepperpot #2: It's a piston engine.
Pepperpot #1: How do you cook it.
Pepperpot #2: You don't cook a piston engine.
Pepperpot #1: I wouldn't fancy eating that raw!

Boris Godunov · August 16, 2003, 16:47

"What's that on the television?"
"Looks like a penguin!"
"What's it doing there?!"
"Standing!"
"I can see that! I meant where did it come from?"
"Probably the Antarctic!"

Zkribbler · August 16, 2003, 18:19

Dead Parrot.

Honorable mention to the Chasm of Doom in The Holy Grail: "What is the air speed/wingspan ratio of a sparrow?" "What? An English sparrow or an African sparrow?" "Gee, I dunno. [BOOM] AaahhhhhHhhHhhHh!"

Sirotnikov · August 16, 2003, 19:16

There's the hide and seek olympic tournament. The british navy expedition to find a lake in someone's basement.

And the meaning of life IMO is highly under appriceated.

The first birth scene. The school sex education scene. The army scenes.

(from memory)

"Well my plan is to march back and forth accross this square. Is there anyone of you rookie maggots who has something better to do? Maybe someone has a more important issue he'd like to take care of?"

"Ahm... well... I have some tuba lessons I would like to practice, Sir"

"Really? And you would rather practice on your tuba, than march back and forth on this square with me?"

"Ahm... well... yes, Sir"

"Really? We'll go on then!"

"Sir?"

"Go! Now! Out of my sight! Go practice your tuba!"

Sandman · August 16, 2003, 19:48

Self-defence against fresh fruit.

ajbera · August 16, 2003, 19:57

Not necessarily my fave, but this has been in my mind lately:

"Hello, Mrs. Premise!"

"Oh, hello Mrs. Conclusion! Busy day?"

"I just spent 4 hours burying the cat."

"4 hours to bury a cat!?"

"Yes, he wouldn't keep still: wrigglin' about, 'owlin'..."

"Oh, it's not dead then."

"Oh no, no, but as we're goin' away for a fortnight I thought I'd better bury it just to be on the safe side."

"Quite right. You don't want to come back from Sorrento to a dead cat, do you?"

"Yes..."

"We've decided to have the budgie put down."

"Ooh, is he very old then?"

"No, we just don't like it."

"How do they put budgies down?"

"Well, it's funny you should ask that. I've been reading a great big book on "How to Put Your Budgie Down", and evidentally you can either hit them with the book, or you can shoot them dead just above the beak."

"Mrs. Essence flushed hers down the loo."

"Ooh, that's dangerous! 'Cause they breed in the sewers. And eventually you get huge, evil smelling flocks of soiled budgies flying out of people's lavatories infringing their personal freedom."

Richard I · August 16, 2003, 20:28

German version of the lumberjack

GePap · August 16, 2003, 20:59

Bruce's philosopher drinking song.

Wernazuma III · August 17, 2003, 05:44

There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
about the raising of the wrist.
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.

The constitutional peasant scene from Holy Grail and the Latin lesson in Life of Brian are my favorite movie scenes BTW.

Sirotnikov · August 18, 2003, 05:22

OH yes

How I laughed and laughed about the constitutional peasant

Of course, the "swedish moose" thing is rather good as well.

When I watched it in the cinema, the entire crowd was going wild, even before the movie started.

Kropotkin · August 18, 2003, 05:54

In life of brian when brian talks from his home to a huge crowd that think he's the messiah:

Brian: You're all different!
Crowd: Yes, we're all different!
Brian: You're all individuals!
Crowd: Yes we are all individuals
Man in crowd: I'm not!

... or something like that.

Kropotkin · August 18, 2003, 05:54

and it's not a good thing to make jokes about the swedish moose. Moose bites can be very dangerous you know...

dannubis · August 18, 2003, 05:59

fish slapping dance ... :d

Demerzel · August 18, 2003, 06:43

hehe the cat one made me laugh.

alva · August 18, 2003, 07:03

"she turned me into a mute..."
"???"
"well..., Igot betta.."

aaglo · August 18, 2003, 07:55

"It's just a fleshwound"

Asmodean · August 18, 2003, 16:02

For some reason, I like the knight who say "Ni", in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

I don't know why...they just crack me up.

Asmodean

Whaleboy · August 18, 2003, 16:08

Constitutional peasant!

Rufus T. Firefly · August 18, 2003, 16:13

Soooo many good ones. But I have to go with...The Hungarian Phrasebook. "My nipples explode with delight!"

Arrian · August 18, 2003, 16:21

"Oh, arguments is down the hall, this is abuse!"

-Arrian (who can't be arsed to reconstruct the scene itself, and hopes the last line will do)

Hot Mustard · August 18, 2003, 16:26

For me it's a tie between the dead parrot and the cheese shop.

Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Customer: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.