Does Lori have Asperger's?

[Lorizael]

So I've been seeing a therapist for slightly more than four months now, which is the longest I've ever maintained contact with a single mental health professional. I went primarily to treat my depression and social anxiety, which she's certainly helping a lot with. On Friday, however, she decided to share with me that she believes I may fit the criteria for high-functioning Asperger's. Being the obsessive guy that I am, I've certainly looked into and considered that diagnosis in the past. But I've always rejected the thought because it's my belief that I'm not blind to social cues the way those with Asperger's tend to be, I just don't know how to react to them.

We talked about it for awhile, and there are definitely a lot of pretty typical symptoms for which I am spot on. So, as I am wont to do, I've been obsessively researching the idea ever since I got back from my therapy appointment yesterday. And now I'm curious what Poly people think of the possibility. Obviously, you all have had very little interaction with me in person, but you've still been interacting with me for more than a decade now. I figure you guys might have some opinions. So?

[Ben Kenobi]

Yes.

[Lorizael]

Well that settles it; I don't have Asperger's.

[Elok]

Well, I met you at the Polymeet, and you didn't say a whole lot. Not that that means anything, since I know I have it and I hardly shut up the whole evening. But you didn't do anything to rule out the diagnosis. Ultimately, of course, the dx is only as important as its ability to help you understand/help yourself. If it's that ambiguous, it doesn't much matter whether you're technically aspie or not.

[Lorizael]

That's kind of what I asked the therapist. Is there a point to assigning a label to what essentially amounts to a cluster of symptoms? She thinks it can help clarify certain issues I have, and that it might help me stop blaming myself for all of my failures.

[Elok]

I think it has at least as good a chance to drive you to despondency, as in "crap, it's neurologically hard-wired so I'll never stop doing it!"

But if you're still curious, what makes her think that? Do you have:

-an obsessive interest?
-savant abilities?
-hypersensitivity, e.g. strong taste aversions or a dislike of being touched?
-ADD/ADHD, which is often comorbid, or was last I heard?
-an urge to "stim"? Not everyone does--mine are pretty subtle finger-twiddling motions--but it's a strong indicator if present.
-or something else? Those are all the big ones I can think of that aren't directly related to social function. Bad social function could be explained by social anxiety.

Also, I catch a fair number of social cues. My problem tends to be a failure to observe social norms in my own conduct.

[Lorizael]

There are a couple of things she points to: my tendency to believe that the point of a conversation is to exchange information and figure out what's true rather than to socialize, poor time management and organizational skills that can make me extremely frustrated, not being good at describing my own emotions, lack of empathy, and an intense need to research the heck out of whatever I'm interested in at the moment.

[Colonâ„¢]

"High-functioning Asperger's" sounds like "a blind man who can still see quite a lot".

[Lorizael]

I don't have a lot of the common physical symptoms, which is part of why I traditionally steered away from Asperger's as a potential diagnosis. I don't really have any stim movements, but I do have a lot of very specific routines I carry out when I engage in tasks. (For example, the way I take drugs involves a very specific sequence of hand movements, some of which are not at all related to taking the drugs.) I'm also highly resistant to changes in plans; they stress me the **** out. But I don't freak out. Pretty much nothing makes me freak out, because I exhibit intense control over my reactions in public. So I don't have anything in the way of strange gestures; instead I'm rather unnaturally rigid in social situations. Some of this could also be described as somewhat OCD-ish.

[Colonâ„¢]

Maybe you have it or maybe you don't, but is there really any point in assigning that tag to you if it boils down to having a few odd traits?

[Tupac Shakur]

There are a couple of things she points to: my tendency to believe that the point of a conversation is to exchange information and figure out what's true rather than to socialize, poor time management and organizational skills that can make me extremely frustrated, not being good at describing my own emotions, lack of empathy, and an intense need to research the heck out of whatever I'm interested in at the moment.

None of this sounds like Asperger's.

[DinoDoc]

Arse Burger's no longer exists as a disorder according to the DSM, so its clear you don't have it.

[Lorizael]

Well, here's the thing. What my therapist and I have been figuring out is that a lot of my social behaviors appear to be techniques I learned as a child to avoid emotional pain. Nowadays these behaviors have outlived their usefulness and are inhibiting my interactions with people. Additionally, these behaviors made me very lonely as a kid and probably contributed to my lifelong depression. If the need to behave the way I do stems from other children reacting to Asperger-ish traits, then it's at the heart of all my problems. If I can figure out how to healthily adapt to my "odd traits" rather than essentially trying to hide from the world, that might be a good thing.

Whether that requires labeling, I'm not really sure. My therapist isn't really big on labeling for the sake of labeling either. But one of the things we've talked about a lot is my compulsive self-blaming and low self-esteem. I am really, really hard on myself. And she thinks giving me an explanation for my behavior will help me deal with it. She's been very helpful these past few months, much more helpful than any mental health practitioner I've had in the past, so I'm inclined to trust her as far as these things go. But I'm not entirely convinced. I wish there were a definitive diagnostic technique. Not for any particular reason, but just because I don't like uncertainty and ambiguity. I like knowing. Which is, you know, kind of the point.

[Lorizael]

None of this sounds like Asperger's.

That's odd, because I've seen those exact traits described in pretty much everything I've read about Asperger's so far.

[Tupac Shakur]

Every Asperger's checklist includes a ton of stuff that normal people also do, which is how you end up with so many people self-diagnosing themselves with Asperger's when they're really just nerdy and socially awkward. I'm neither and still exhibit 3 out of the 5 behaviors you listed.